No return to Salaams!
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Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups : Women (Sisters)
Forum Description: Groups : Women (Sisters)
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14528
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Topic: No return to Salaams!
Posted By: Zaharah
Subject: No return to Salaams!
Date Posted: 10 April 2009 at 10:14am
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Salaams, I live in one of the largest city's down south. I am a Muslim sister who take my religion serious and I worship the Almighty Allah. I have noticed on MANY occasions that when i greet my fellow sisters in the market place or the shopping mall, they don't return the greeting! This is very frustrating, and it is haram. Has anyone had the same thing happen?Zaharah
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Replies:
Posted By: Shasta'sAunt
Date Posted: 11 April 2009 at 8:05pm
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Salaams, Do you live in the Dallas/Ft Worth area because I do and it happens all of the time. I have actually had Muslim women turn and go the opposite direction when they see me. After September 11 I chalked it up to paranoia for a while cuz things were so crazy, but now I just shrug. What can you do, chase them down and make them greet you? Well, I guess you could and it might be sort of funny. Can you imagine the panic when they realize you are chasing them down for Salaams? But it's really very sad. ------------- �No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.� Eleanor Roosevelt |
Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 11 April 2009 at 8:25pm
| Wa Alaikum As Salam Sisters.I was tought that it is a minor sin to not greet eachother with a smile [IMG]smileys/smiley1.gif" align="middle" /> |
Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 11 April 2009 at 8:26pm
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Shasta'sAunt wrote:Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 9:30am
Salaams, sister Shasta'sAunt
You know this is a shame and it is just down right pitiful!
It just never crossed my mind about 911 cause we all know the truth behind that!
It would be really funny to chase them down for a greeting.
Actually I live in Atlanta Ga. It just make's me very upset to extend my hand or greeting another sister of the same faith and they just turn their face like they don't hear me. I know we dont have the same skin color but we all KNOW our universal greeting.
I dress in full hijab just like them. Is it my color or what???
Zaharah
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 9:43am
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Salaams Akhe Abdullah, Thanks for your reply. The Quran says in 24:61 "To greet one another with a greeting from Allah. say: As-Salamu Alaikum- peace be on you.
Thus Allah makes clear the Ayat to you that you may understand.
Please vote on the poll that was posted and lets pray for one another.
Zaharah
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 9:58am
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Salams Akhe Abdullah
It is a minor sin to not greet with a smile, but to not return the Greeting when you are greeted is another catagory. Those sister's who do this can hear without a doubt when I say As-Salamu Alaikum they just choose the be ignorant and turn their face and it's very upsetting.
Just imagine FOR EXAMPLE: if a non believer was standing near me and this non believer was curious of the religion and wanted to know more to possibly convert and they witness this from another sister treating the one who extended the greeting this way. Just that alone would raise doubt in someone's mind about the religion .
Maybe next time I will use ShastaAunt's theory
 Zaharah
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Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 12:01pm
| Wa Alaikum As Salam Sister Zaharah.I dont understand the problem but,if we can try to correct the little things then we can tackle the big promblems.May Allah help us with that. |
Posted By: Shasta'sAunt
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 12:51pm
I'm not sure what color you are but I am the palest white person in the world, in full hijab, and they run from me.
After 9-11 there were all sorts of rumors here that people were infiltrating the mosques, etc, so I figured the fact that I'm a caucasian American might have something to do with it. Maybe I look like I should be in the FBI or something or maybe just being American made people paranoid.
I don't let it stop me though. If they are close enough I tell them Salaams anyway and if they act like they don't want me to come closer, I don't. I just smile and walk off, or smile at their fleeing back as they run off.
 ------------- �No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.� Eleanor Roosevelt |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 3:16pm
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Salaams Akhe Abdullah and Amen. Do you have any suggestions? There is a saying in the Hadith that we should try to change something physically, speak about it or feel bad in our minds. This problem I feel can be changed if WE sisters trust in our God. So that's why I wanted to post this, im speaking out about it. Just feeling bad in my mind is not enough (to my own thinking). It has caused me some heartache cause i feel so bad after reading that the greeting is 1 of the things Prophet (PBUH) told us to do. Zaharah
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 3:31pm
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Salaams Shasta'Aunt,
I am Africa American. So you can see why this frustrates me also. I'm in my 30's and I have felt when some people of another race or color don't want different people around. It all is shameful and I'm sure there are many jokes and phrase's that ALL races have encountered. But as Allah have choosen this religion for us, let's not mistreat our own Brothers and Sisters. If this is happening, then what makes us so different than the hypocrite?
"Z"
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Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 5:29pm
| Wa Alaikum As Salam Sister Zahara.Im also African American but,I am Muslim first.The Qur'an tells us to put aside out heritage and cultural backgrounds and that our Ummah is one.We have those who still hold fast to that, I wont name who out of fear of back-bitting.I would first like to point out some things about us and our people (African Americans),music lovers,drinkers,gang bangers,ect just the worst of worst when it comes to the media out look.And maybe that is there way of looking at us out of ignorance.A long time ago a group of Muslims failed to convert the Monguls and if you know of that story there are some similarities,Those early Muslims looked down on the Monguls and took Islam for there own when it was truly supposed to spead world wide to everyone.May Allah forgive us. |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 6:32pm
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Salaams my brother Akhe Abdullah, may Allah guide you and raise your rank.
That's why I posted this message of the greeting. I have pondered this in my heart for months and i just couldnt take it anymore. I went to the market today no longer than 3 hours ago and the same thing happened again today. You are right WE are Muslim first but why is it so hard for people to think one day I will meet my maker? It seems like they adore the world first and their God later. May Allah forgive us all. Back bitting is another big issue.
But what else could it be? Another sister who has commented on this subject is of another race and she has expeirenced the same thing. Has this ever happened to you? is there a link or any
info on Monguls
Zaharah
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 6:54pm
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Narrated Al-Bara The Prophet ordered us to do seven (things) and forbade us from seven (other things): He ordered us to pay a visit to the sick, to follow funeral possessions, to say: May Allah be merciful to you to a sneezer, - if he says: Praise be to Allah, to accept invitation (invitation to a wedding banquet), to return greetings, to help the oppressed, and to help others to fulfill their oaths (provided it was not sinful). And he forbade us from seven (things): to wear golden rings or golden bangles, to wear silk (cloth), Dibaj, Sundus and Mayathir. posted by Zaharah
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 7:19pm
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Salaams,
This is written. When I read this, this is what keeps me grounded and reminds me of what is to come. Keep in mind, if it is someone's else's skin color that is keeping you trapped in ingorance take heed...
41:20 (Asad) till, when they come close to it, their hearing and their sight and their [very] skins will bear witness against them, speaking of what they were doing [on earth].
may Allah be pleased
Zaharah
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Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 12 April 2009 at 8:00pm
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 13 April 2009 at 11:22am
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Salaams brother Akhe Abdullah,
Wow, I thought it only happen between sisters. I just pray that Allah will have mercy on us all.
It has happened at the masjid here in Atlanta also. We also went to another one, things seem to be a lot better as far as the Masjid, but the market and shopping mall or local convient stories are all the same, you extend the greeting with no reply.
Allah forgive us and have mercy on the nations
Zaharah
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Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 13 April 2009 at 5:09pm
| Wa Alaikum As Salam Sister Zaharah.Ameen |
Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 13 April 2009 at 5:45pm
| Salams Sister Zaharah.Are you familiar with Masjid AT-Taheed |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 13 April 2009 at 8:10pm
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Wa Alaikum As Salam brother, No i am not familiar with that Masjid. Where is it located? |
Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 13 April 2009 at 8:29pm
| Salams Sister a brother of mine here in Flint,MI just moved back briefly told me of this Masjid,I have to ask him more(Inshallah) because I cant find it either on the Mosque search above. |
Posted By: Danty
Date Posted: 13 April 2009 at 8:49pm
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As-salam-u-laikum! I live in Stone Mountain,GA. I have run into sisters who don't give their salaam back. But their are sisters who give their salaam also. It does bother me.
The other day my friend and I were in the Farmers Market and we passed a sister and gave her our salaam. We had no response. I walked a couple of steps and decided to turn around and give my salaam a little louder. She responded. It seems like she was thinking about what she was buying then her surroundings. LOL! Well sis, I give you my salaam. PS. We are not that bad down here.  ------------- Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said "Be kind, for whenever kindness becomes part of something, it beautifies it.Whenever it is taken from something, it leaves it tarnished." (IMAM BUKHARI) |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 13 April 2009 at 8:54pm
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Wa Alaikum As Salam brother Akhe Abdullah, Is that masjid here in Atlanta?
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 13 April 2009 at 8:56pm
Wa Alaikum As Salam Sister, Danty (Well sis, I give you my salaam)
LOL LOL LOL 
Nice to join us here, as you can see this is a HOT topic.
Wow sister you live near me, i'm in Duluth and i visit stone mountain a lot.
Please give any input as you may. I needed to post this issue because I have reach my limit so im trying to change things with my mouth and make ALL aware of this. I just don't like extending the greetings and then i get looked at like im from another planet and i got 1 eye in the center of my head.
Sister did you vote in the poll?
Zaharah
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Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 14 April 2009 at 10:02am
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Salaams
I think it is a big issue.. and honestly I beleive more of an issue amonst the women than men.. I have many theories.. but they are just theories..
When I tried to be invovled in a masjid I signed up to help with a fair or something like that. I was in a kitchen with a bunch of women and only one older lady was nice and talked to me.. and she hadlimited English. The rest, i was there an hour, said NOTHING to me..
Frankly, i know too many revert women who are just plain isolated.. it is a terrible problem. I don't think it has to do with 9-11.. not among the women. Women are just cliquish.. ------------- When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 14 April 2009 at 12:32pm
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Wa Alaikum As Salam Sister Hayfa,
You are 100% right, this is a big issue. I think also more from the sisters side also, but it does happen with our brothers (see above) and also my husband has experienced this in the Masjid here in Atlanta.
You see the expirence you had from those women calling themself's muslim (maybe with the mouth only) treated you. I used to think it was the language but WE ALL have the same universal greeting no matter what language, race or color we are.
Please explain to me when you said "Frankly, i know too many revert women who are just plain isolated.. it is a terrible problem.
And PLEASE VOTE IN THE POLL, you will find it in the general discussion or in sisters only forum.
Thanks so much for your input it is much needed.
 Zaharah
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Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 15 April 2009 at 12:36pm
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What I meant is that, many reverts connect to other women alot via the interent. I know many women who are nothighly active in their communities, have few people around them etc. Thes women can be like in NYC, Toronto, Atlanta etc. So its not strictly geography.
I think it has to do with 'culture' not just say foreign cultures but the reality that when you enter into Islam you on some levels leave your culture behindas you seek o intergrate Islam into one's life, but what you are entering into a different world.
For instance, for Muslims in many cultures men and women lead very different lives, often separate ones. Men and women are not just 'friends.' Social events can be separate etc. And yet I visited my uncle and my aunt who is his 2nd wife. Her children were there and grand-kids. All of us sat at a table. It can be hard to intergrate past and present lives..relationships etc.
We also do not have the built in support network among Muslims through relatives. I know so many people with cousins and cousins who are of course Muslim. Making new friends among these networks is very daunting. Most people live within their spheres.. which tends to be family. Which is fine. When you are an 'outsider' the network is not there. You MAY gain it by marriage.. but still you are often separated by many factors such as language.
And when you are an 'outsider' to a group you don't even know when and how to begin. People are busy with their own lives-tpyically their own familes.. where does a nonrelative like ourselves belong?
I would guess.. only a guess.. that if I and a sister from say Middle East or Pakistan went to a masjid not knowing anyone, that the other sister-a born Muslim from a similar culture would fit in far more quickly than I or any revert sister. Its just the way people are.. ------------- When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi |
Posted By: mariyah
Date Posted: 15 April 2009 at 1:04pm
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Asalaamu alaikum wa rathmatullahi wa baraktuhu Hey I hear this same complaint often in our revert sister's support group. Often it is the born muslimahs that are reluctant to give the salaams to a revert because they just cannot figure it out. Just as many of our immigrant sisters think it is alright to carry on during the khutba so loudly that no one else can hear. I have given the class in muslim manners at the masjid but the ones that really need it are the immigrant sisses..they didnt usually attend the nasjid back home because Islam was everywhere back where they came from. Give your salaams as you are required, but they are missing out on the blessings if they do not answer back. they will account for it, not you. Keep yourselves accountable! ------------- "Every good deed is charity whether you come to your brother's assistance or just greet him with a smile. |
Posted By: Shasta'sAunt
Date Posted: 15 April 2009 at 2:56pm
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Salaams Sis Hayfa:
I have noticed this problem here. When I lived in Tennessee this was not a problem at all. When I reverted to Islam I was one of the few single sisters but everyone there made me welcome and invited into their families. I remember the first time I went to the mosque. I was surrounded by women who asked me a hundred questions and sat by me the entire time. One of them became one of my best friends who I love with all of my heart. Her house became like my house and I was and still am always welcome. It is because of this group of loving women that I embraced Islam so wholeheartedly.
If I had accepted Islam in Texas perhaps I would have a very different view of it now. I have not found that sense of community here, nor anything close to that type of welcome. But Al HamdilAllah because of my very positive experience before I know that not all communities are like this. ------------- �No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.� Eleanor Roosevelt |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 15 April 2009 at 4:31pm
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Salaams, sister Hayfa Thanks again for your input. This was needed here in the forum so that we may be aware and to keep mindful of what we do. I very much aware of the different cultures and language barriers. I myself am a revert, please read some about me on the forum "She took Shahada" it's about my mother and me growing up christian and teaching the gospel as a licensed minister. BUT.. Like i said before, we all know the universal greeting. These sisters here in Atlanta will look at you in your eyes while you extend the greeting and then turn their heads or the give you a look like something stinks. It is very upsetting to me. It's like you revert to the truth, but you have these sisters making you feel as if your still worshiping what you reverted from. May Allah have mercy on us and forgive us, Insha Allah
Z
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 15 April 2009 at 4:46pm
Wa Alaikum As Salam sister Mariyah,
Welcome to the forum and thanks so much for your imput. You are very wise and I pray that Allah raise you rank in everything you do for the cause of truth.
I wanted to post this in the forum because i happens to me on the average of 3 to 4 times a week. It has happened also in the Masjid. It just makes my heart when i get this reaction. I thank Allah for his mercy that im not weak minded because i truly believe a couple of years ago I would have ask them what their problem was. Thank God for finding me .
Allah be praised.
I do have a sister that is from another muslim country
and she tells me that it's really bad there because they don't follow most of the customs and laws
 God help us
Zaharah
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 15 April 2009 at 4:48pm
Please VOTE on the poll in the general discussion forum or here will do....Thanks everyone for your input
Zaharah
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Posted By: Danty
Date Posted: 16 April 2009 at 8:20am
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As-salam-u-laikum Sister Zaharah. On behalf of the Atlanta community, I am sorry that you have experienced unhappy things. Which mosques are you going to? I try to go to whatever Mosques I am traveling around. There are all kinds of people where ever you go. Sister, we have halaqas here to connect with other sisters and learn our deen. My mom also converted to Islam a long time ago but was accepted to the community without any types of problems. I agree that some people are rude but like I said this world is filled with all kinds!Sister Zaharah, welcome, marhaban, to Islam and this community in GA! Eastside! HAHAHAHAHAHA! ------------- Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said "Be kind, for whenever kindness becomes part of something, it beautifies it.Whenever it is taken from something, it leaves it tarnished." (IMAM BUKHARI) |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 16 April 2009 at 9:38am
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Wa Alaikum As Salams sister Danty,
Eastside!
Thanks for your comment you always make my day with happy endings on your comments.
I do feel welcome here, coming from a place where you would be afraid to wear your hijab for fear of burning a piece of wood in your yard (if u know what im saying)
It's just that I'm shocked at the behavior of these women who call themselves sisters not returning the greeting. I'm soooo excited about Islam and learning of my God.
Danty have you voted in the poll?
Maybe I can come to Stone Mt. to visit and go to the Masjid with you Zaharah
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Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 16 April 2009 at 6:26pm
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A few weeks ago I wentto another masjid in DC. Most are in the suburbs. I went to this one on a talk about domestic violence. All of the sisters said salaams. What is most interesting is that all of the people there were not immigrants. It actually was a former Nation of Islam masjid but changed. I think it does have to do with one's culture. Like in US we have a 'polite' greetings like, 'hello, how are you"? So people raised here are used to greeting strangers. So having some type of introduction among people who don't really know each other is common.
It was interesting as all except one or two of the sisters were African-American. And even though i am not, I felt far more comfortable than if i had gone to a a masjid dominated by numbers by Pakistanis or Middle Eastern folks.
It was interesting to me as I felt more comfortable in that I understood the 'language,' meaning what people meant when they spoke about this or that.
Last summer I was involved in another masjid and Ireember being upset saying to one woman, "i do not belong here?" she was like "why not, you are American". And I could not put into words how I felt.
Maybe things are more colored for me after my last trip to Pakistan... I dunno.
------------- When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:47am
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Salams Sister Hayfa,
Wow that does sound interesting. I must say this and anyone reading this im not trying to put nobody down. May Allah have mercy on us all. I have to say that when i do experience these looks and no return of the greeting it is from women from pakistan or middle eastern areas. I don't know the culture there, but im open to learn. But I have to say that my best friend is from Palestine and she/family have never treated me/family with nothing but kindness, her home is my home when im there and vice verse. Even when her mom comes to the states not speaking any english, she is very kind and compassionate. May Allah forgive me, but i really think sometimes it has to do with the color of a persons skin or maybe their life experience. But no matter what Prophet (PBUH) told us that we must return the greeting. So my theory is : We Muslim All have the same Universal Greeting, no matter what our language or where we're from and we know this, why is it so hard for some Sisters to return the greetings or just give a smile??? YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE (if your reading this)!!! Or is it that they think they are excused from what Prophet (PBUH) told us?
Hayfa we got a lot of praying to do. May Allah have mercy on us!
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 20 April 2009 at 8:57pm
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Narrated Al-Bara The Prophet ordered us to do seven (things) and forbade us from seven (other things): He ordered us to pay a visit to the sick, to follow funeral possessions, to say: May Allah be merciful to you to a sneezer, - if he says: Praise be to Allah, to accept invitation (invitation to a wedding banquet), to return greetings, to help the oppressed, and to help others to fulfill their oaths (provided it was not sinful). And he forbade us from seven (things): to wear golden rings or golden bangles, to wear silk (cloth), Dibaj, Sundus and Mayathir. Z
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 22 April 2009 at 6:20pm
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41:20 (Asad) till, when they come close to it, their hearing and their sight and their [very] skins will bear witness against them, speaking of what they were doing [on earth].
may Allah be pleased
Zaharah
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Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 27 April 2009 at 5:34am
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Dont take it too hard sisters. . . .
It may not neccassarily be because of race etc. Sometimes ppl have a lack of islamic knowledge, and have forgotten Islamic customs. Some are by nature shy, or are not in a habit of smiling to strangers. People, even muslims are now wary of conversing with strangers - and will not smile or say hi/salaam. We are starting to become an individualistic culture.
Some behaved the way - like I did once! I was once abroad. . . walking in the zoo - when a sister passed by and said Salaam. . . I was kinda day-dreaming and didnt look at her, took me a couple of secs before I realised someone had said salaam - I turned around, but she was lost in the crowd!!! I felt so bad all day. . . she probably thought I was arrogant or something
 But inshallah you all will still get sawaab for saying the salaam, even if the other does not reciprocate. . .
------------- "O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young." |
Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 27 April 2009 at 5:39am
Thats so true, and I hate that about us .. .
 Men are so much more easygoing - they will make friends with any man they meet and meet with such gusto! We tend to be a little reserved. . . and. . . cliquish.
I am going to be more friendly towards my sisters from today onwards
SISTER POWERRRRRRR!!!!!
 ------------- "O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young." |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 27 April 2009 at 9:32am
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Salams Sister Chrysalis, and welcome to this forum:
Please tell me sister what does ppl mean?
also you said that you felt bad all day when you were not able to return the salams
 . But May Allah be pleased cause you actually felt something from that. I started this forum because it happens so much here in Atlanta. I understand that maybe some sisters may be shy, i know how that feels @ times. But welcome in here. SISTER POWERRRRRRR!!!!!
Zaharah ------------- CHANGE- Let's change the way we eat, the way we live and the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working, so it's on us to do what we gotta do to survive. Tupac A. Shakur... |
Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 27 April 2009 at 11:46am
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wa'alaikum salaam sis Zaharah. . .
'ppl' is a short form of 'people' ------------- "O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young." |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 27 April 2009 at 12:21pm
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Salams
Z ------------- CHANGE- Let's change the way we eat, the way we live and the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working, so it's on us to do what we gotta do to survive. Tupac A. Shakur... |
Posted By: Nur_Ilahi
Date Posted: 03 May 2009 at 7:45am
Assalamualaiki, Perhaps you all are living in a place with Muslims in the minority. Where I live, it is very natural to greet and receive greetings with Salams and a smile that really could brighten up the whole day. I have never had encountered this attitude before. Maybe, you should start with a smile first from far and when you are withing hearing distance, then you should utter the salaams. At least if you receive a smile in return, you could then venture to say the salaams. Anyway, it is not advisable to linger a bad opinion in one's mind in regards to another human being. Let us always think positive. Thinking negative will lead to all sorts of imaginations that is sinful. ------------- Ilahi Anta Maksudi, Wa Redhaka Mathlubi - Oh Allah, You are my destination, Your Pleasure is my Intention. |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 03 May 2009 at 10:00am
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Wa Alaikum As Salam Nur Ilahi, Welcome to this Forum. Thanks you for your advice. I do live in an area where Muslims are the minority, and i have followed your advice with the same reaction that i spoke of thru out this post. It seems like to me, that by living in an area where we are so few that we should all embrace each other instead of shunning each other. You are very fortunate to live where you feel loved and are greeted on a daily basis. May Allah have Mercy on us all. Zaharah------------- CHANGE- Let's change the way we eat, the way we live and the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working, so it's on us to do what we gotta do to survive. Tupac A. Shakur... |
Posted By: maron
Date Posted: 05 May 2009 at 5:56pm
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Salam sister
Just don't care about them....
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 06 May 2009 at 5:38pm
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Wa Alaikum As Salams, Maron
That's the same thing my husband told me. I just think as female we are more emotional when it comes to things like this.
Thank for your post and welcome to this forum
Zaharah ------------- CHANGE- Let's change the way we eat, the way we live and the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working, so it's on us to do what we gotta do to survive. Tupac A. Shakur... |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 10 May 2009 at 9:30pm
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17. Salam is for everyone Quran demands that we greet others better than the way they have greeted us. (Quran 4:86). After Juma do you say Salam and meet only those people you know or do you initiate a Salam to those from another ethnic group? Consider this Hadith: The Prophet said: Those who are nearest to Allah are those who are the first to give a greeting (Sahiah of Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi). Saying Salam is also a great way to increase your love for a fellow Muslim, no matter where they are from. Consider this Hadith: the Prophet said: You will not enter Heaven until you believe, and you will not believe until you love each other. Let me guide you to something which will cause you to love each other: spreading the greetings of peace (Assalamu alaikum) (Sahiah of Muslim). Assalamu Alaikum
Zaharah ------------- CHANGE- Let's change the way we eat, the way we live and the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working, so it's on us to do what we gotta do to survive. Tupac A. Shakur... |
Posted By: christine123
Date Posted: 25 August 2009 at 7:15am
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Assalamu Alaikum Zaharah,
My apologies for coming late to this discussion! We live in the same area and if we ever meet, I will definitely give you salaams! :) Peace ------------- NOW A MUSLIM! MARCH 2009! |
Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 25 August 2009 at 6:40pm
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Wa Alaikum Salams,
How are you sister Christine123 Nice to meet you. So you are from the "dirty south" Thats what i hear people here in Atlanta say.
I will definetely return your salaams as well. Sometimes i just dont understand. It was give to us to greet on another,
Sometimes it's so bad and its hurts my heart to see mistreatment from one of my own sisters. But Allah knows best.
Keep in touch, are you in atlanta also?
Zaharah ------------- CHANGE- Let's change the way we eat, the way we live and the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working, so it's on us to do what we gotta do to survive. Tupac A. Shakur... |
Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 25 August 2009 at 8:37pm
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We have the same problem here in Madinah.. even worse some sisters stare at you when you greet them and you don't know them. They just makes you feel you are so noisy and irritating. 
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: A man asked the Prophet , "What sort of deeds or (what qualities of) Islam are good?" The Prophet replied, 'To feed (the poor)and greet those whom you know and those whom you do not Know Keep on your way of greeting others sister.. you will be rewarded. May Allah be pleased.. if others don't care of Allah's rewards and high ranks.. I know you do care.. 
-------------  And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 26 August 2009 at 3:55am
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Assalamu Alaikum sister "Full of Hopes"
Wow this is such a big problem. I can't believe that you are having the same thing happen to you there in Madinah, the Prophet's (PBUH) home. Now that is really upsetting. Have we as a nation swayed or stumbled on the path back to Allah? Allah have mercy on us. We must not continue in this way.
When i first posted this forum, i put it here because WE all needed to read and be aware. I hope and pray to God that this forum serves it's purpose.
but Madinah....... now that's something
Zaharah
------------- CHANGE- Let's change the way we eat, the way we live and the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working, so it's on us to do what we gotta do to survive. Tupac A. Shakur... |
Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 26 August 2009 at 11:40am
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Walaikum Asslam.. sister Zahara..
Don't be upset.. in spite of all disappointing sides, there is still goodness and justice in this Ummah. We're under the mercy. I believe, we've to start the change from ourselves, our families, friends and then the society then the Ummah will change. By the days, Muslims will get to be used to our Salam greetings. We teach them. Something else depressed me a lot, when I see that some Muslims always say Hi, Hello Bye, instead of our great Islamic greeting Assalmu Alikum. I know it can happen by a mistake but some sisters I used to teach English, kept saying Hi Hello... and so on. Some colleagues, I never heard them saying Salam or Asslamu Alikum. so!! If I'm studying a language, I don't see the idae of changing my greeting into this language greeting. This is our greeting in paradise. We've got to be proud of our Islamic greeting and not to replce it by anything. ------------- And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 26 August 2009 at 6:08pm
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Assalamu Alaikum sister full of hopes well stated ------------- CHANGE- Let's change the way we eat, the way we live and the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working, so it's on us to do what we gotta do to survive. Tupac A. Shakur... |
Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 26 August 2009 at 11:41pm
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Asslamu Alikum sister..
I've got this for you to see how pure and gentle you are. See how Allah rewards us for greetings... To Preceed in Greeting: Greeting brother and sisters Muslims is one of these Islamic practices which are hallmark of a Muslim and its merits have been anointed in many ahadith e.g. "One who takes precedence in greeting others is closer to Allah." (Abu Daud) It is not necessary to greet only those with whom one is acquainted; greeting strangers who are known to be Muslim is a matter of great merit. Our holy Prophet, may he be Divinely blessed eternally, was asked as to which actions are good for Muslim. Among the actions which he enumerated was this: "You should greet people whether you know them or not." It is reported about Abdullah bin Omar that sometimes he went out of the house only to greet any Muslims he met and thus to increase his merit. (Muvatta Imam Malik ) The correct interpretation of this hadith, however, is that one should greet others, though not everyone one sees because it is impossible and it might be embarrassing for others. (Al Adab al Shahriah, li ibn Muslih page 422, vol 1) It is also a sunnah to greet the family when entering the house. Our holy Prophet instructed his personal servant Anas as follows, " On son! When you enter (your) house, greet your family members; this act shall be of benefit for both you and your family members." (Tirmidhi) Even when entering an empty house one should greet with the intent that angels are being greeted. Haidth also urges the Muslims to clearly speak out the greeting so that it may be heard and understood. Although the sunnah of greeting is fulfilled by saying 'Al Salam Alaikum', adding 'Rahmat ullah wa barakatuhu' earns more merit. Imran bin Husayn recounts that once he and others were in the presence of our exalted and eternally blessed Prophet when a man came and said, "Assalamo alaikum", to which the blessed Prophet responded and said, "Ten" (i.e. the person who had greeted him had earned ten merits); then another man came and he "Assalamo alaikum wa Rahmatullah", to which the blessed Prophet responded and said "Twenty" (i.e. the person had earned twenty merits). Finally a third man came and said "Assalamo alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatu", to which the exalted Prphet responded and said, "Thirty" (i.e. the person had earned thirty merits) (abu Daud, Tirmidhi, Jami al Usul, p. 602. vol 6) It should be noted here, however, that salaam i.e. is a sunnah only when the person greeted is not busy or when salaam would not disturb him. If salaam is going to disturb him in whatever he is doing, e.g. reciting Quran or doing dikhir or tending the sick of studying or doing something else in which loss of concentration would cause loss, the one should wait till the work is finished. Similarly, it is not right to salaam when somebody is making a speech, and the speaker too should not do it. However, if a group is sitting quietly and somebody passes by then he should greet them. If someone wishes to join them then just one salaam is enough and a single response from one of the group fulfills the sunnah. To be the first with salaam is sunnah and he who does not reply to is a sinner. When a letter is received in which "salaam alaikum" is written, it should be responded to in the prescribed manner while reading the letter. .... Allah bless you sisters.. .... ------------- And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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Posted By: Zaharah
Date Posted: 27 August 2009 at 7:03am
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Wa Alaikum As Salam , Thank you so much sister for this information. Allah gave you that greeting as a mercy for us and some of us dont care. I try not to let it bother me and i say may Allah forgive those sisters who do that. I know here in the States many women are afraid to return the greetings thinking that one may not be a Muslim but dressed like one. only God know, but that what ive heard and read from here, but to me it is no excuse!!!!!! Its very RUDE
So let us take heart and be guided in the way of Allah and that of our Prophet (PBUH)
Zaharah ------------- CHANGE- Let's change the way we eat, the way we live and the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working, so it's on us to do what we gotta do to survive. Tupac A. Shakur... |
Posted By: Pati
Date Posted: 27 August 2009 at 10:41pm
You know dear... In my work, everyone is complaining because when someone is calling me and I know him/her, I answer the phone with "Salam Aleikum", and also, they told me that if you say "alhamdulillah" lot of times, you will keep the Shaytan away from you... so I am saying everytime By my side, I would not give importance to that fact of people trying to seem "cosmopolitan" and showing they know other languages. Just answer them the same way you are used to answer "aleikum salam" or just "salams" and it will be OK. Don't care about people who reject own culture and accept others one. Salams Patricia ------------- No God wants the killing, but the peace. The weapons are carried by people, not by religions. |