Print Page | Close Window

marriage

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13478
Printed Date: 28 March 2024 at 9:33pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com


Topic: marriage
Posted By: sharonjundi
Subject: marriage
Date Posted: 03 November 2008 at 2:18pm
Good Afternoon
I really need help. I have been been with my husband
for 28 years, and he left me without saying a word. He
got an apartment and moved out. I know we had problems
like every married couple. But I am in desperate help to
get him back. I love him very much and want him home.
I believe in Allah and pray all day and night to find
the answer. How can he do this to me, and I forgave him
for leaving, but he says he wants to be by himself and live his life. I cry all the time and pray to Allah that
he will want me back. I need a lot of help from someone
with answers why he would do this and not want me. I can
not live without him. I know that if I have to, I will
survive, but it just hurts so much that I want to die.
I do not believe in suicide, so I would never take my own
life, but I need to find out somehow I can go on with my
life, or is their some miracle that can happen to help me. Do all men go through a mid life ordeal and leave
like this and tell us that they are unhappy.
Why are Allah's words on this in the Quran. Please
help me.



Replies:
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 03 November 2008 at 6:10pm
 I suggest that you appeal to those who have intimate knowledge of both you and your husband, because at this critical stage in your life reaching out to strangers may not provide needed moral support or assistance in arbitrating a successful resolution to your troubles. 


Posted By: Imani
Date Posted: 03 November 2008 at 11:46pm
salam.
please take the advice abuayisha has given you.
It is the best thing to do right know.
 This is a critical Family matter so dont go for the advice of strangers.
 Think wise. May the peace of ALLAH be with you.
                                                                             Was'salam.


-------------
"But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7)
peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM


Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 08 November 2008 at 10:59pm
Assalamu Alaykum,
 
May Allah swt bestow you with patience. I pray Allah swt that he returns to you, soon. Hope you have acted upon Abuayisha's advice.
 


-------------
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: Imani
Date Posted: 09 November 2008 at 2:38am
salam.
sharon i hope that you take the advises given to you.
Put GOD first in all your affairs and you will surely have answers to your problems.
 Stay blessed.


-------------
"But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7)
peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 18 November 2008 at 3:27pm
Hello again,

I can not contact family with the answers for my
husband and I. I have no family left and he has his
brother here. His friends have a lot of influence with
his actions. I am at lose with this situation. I am
trying to just leave him alone but I have no one to turn
to in this situation. We talk, but we have not seen each
other for 6 weeks now. I just do not understand what went wrong and why he does not want to go to counseling
our even try to come home and work things out. I will
always love him, but I just need advice on what I can
do, or whom I can at least talk to about this problem.
Please advise..........

Please explain how a man sees this situation at this
age of life.

Thanks

Sharon


Posted By: lily_mawar
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 5:11am
Salam,
 
I suggest you perform solat hajaat (request) ...
 
Solat hajaat (request) is performed like any other sunnah prayer. It's recitations are also the same.  It can be performed at any time but not during the forbidden times for prayers, the best at midnight after solat tahajjud.  May Allah bless you and guide you ...
 
 
 


Posted By: Imani
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 1:14am
salam
i think you sould do what lily mawar suggested.


-------------
"But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7)
peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 6:05am
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharonjundi My dear sister this is indeed a tragedy.Maybe he just needs some space and you two can reconcile Inshallah.I know Im not family or even know you personally but we both know what Allah loves.Does he speek of seeking a divorce?Do you two have chidren?Sometimes we men do go through changes in which we question ourselves about our decissions in life.When I was married I when through a separation and I know for a fact if he is not ready to come back it will not work give him his space.There's a old saying that if you love someone let them go and if they come back you really know.Keep in touch I have alot to say to you and I dont what you to take it all in at ounce.You really do need someone to talk too, yes even a stranger but one who comes in peace As salaamulaikum. May Allah give you comfort in your time of need.(Ameen)


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 1:08pm
Thank you so much. You are so kind. I am trying really
hard to give him all the space he needs, but it is so hard to do this. He first said he did not want a divorce
and when I pressured him about coming home, then he said
he wanted a divorce. Now he does not mention this to me.
I just miss him so much.   I pray that Allah will lead me
in the right direction and help me in this time of need.
After so many years together, I really have a hard time
realizing that he actually left me. We have 2 boys that
are now grown. I ask for your prayers and may Allah
help me.
Thank you so much for your reply.

Sharon


Posted By: Imani
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 3:33am
 Sharon dont even mention it. we will always include you in our prayers.
May ALLAH have mercy on you.
                                       Amen!Smile


-------------
"But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7)
peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 7:45am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Thank you so much. You are so kind. I am trying really
hard to give him all the space he needs, but it is so hard to do this. He first said he did not want a divorce
and when I pressured him about coming home, then he said
he wanted a divorce. Now he does not mention this to me.
I just miss him so much.   I pray that Allah will lead me
in the right direction and help me in this time of need.
After so many years together, I really have a hard time
realizing that he actually left me. We have 2 boys that
are now grown. I ask for your prayers and may Allah
help me.
Thank you so much for your reply.

Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi Jazakallah for responding to my reply.Im very pleased to hear back from you. [IMG]smileys/smiley4.gif" align="middle" /> Im also very pleased to see you are still trying to get your husban back.When dealing with matters of the heart we tend to act on our emotions and not logic.I have been divorced for eight years.My ex-wife wanted the divorce because our situations was stressful to her and she started getting depressed.Maybe she thought she was doing me a favor by this,But the thing was that I was Muslim and she was a Kaffir and it was never going to work.I think I was out of my mind( maybe) off my deen definitely.(LoL)So to make a long story short Sister Its not about what we want for our selves its what Allah wants for us.And a true Muslim wants for his brother or sister what he wants for himself.Are your husban friends Muslim I had to ask because of the previous sentence.I Pray that Allah help him find his way back.Ahamdulillah two grown boys, our work as parents is never done.I have two sons and a daughter.15,9and2.May Allah be pleased with our intentions.Sister stay positive and patient dont pressure him remeber (space) we are always tested in this life shaiton is always lerking and Allahs the best refuge.Remind him of his Imaan.


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 8:33am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

We have 2 boys that
are now grown.
Sharon
 
Have they spoken to their father on your behalf?


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 4:11pm
Hello again,

Yes, his friends are Muslim. I hope and pray that they
would talk to him about this. I am not sure what they
say to him, because almost all of them are married and
have young children. Lately, this past few days, he has
come by the house to fix things around the house. I do
not know if he feels guilty and that is why he is helping?
He wants to come over for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. It will just be our 2 boys and him and I.
I am really confused on his feelings towards me this weekend. Does he care or is he just trying to be nice
and release his guilt?

Thank you for your kindness are caring.........

May ALLAH bless you.

Sharon


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 4:15pm
The boys are so hurt over this situation, especially
the oldest son. They never talk anyone. They have had
very ugly words to each other in the past few months.
My youngest son stays with me at home and works and
goes to school. They talk all the time and do things
together.
My boys love their dad, but act a lot different towards
him.

May ALLAH watch over all of us and bless us.

Sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 7:16am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Hello again,

Yes, his friends are Muslim. I hope and pray that they
would talk to him about this. I am not sure what they
say to him, because almost all of them are married and
have young children. Lately, this past few days, he has
come by the house to fix things around the house. I do
not know if he feels guilty and that is why he is helping?
He wants to come over for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. It will just be our 2 boys and him and I.
I am really confused on his feelings towards me this weekend. Does he care or is he just trying to be nice
and release his guilt?

Thank you for your kindness are caring.........

May ALLAH bless you.

Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.Jazakallah for writting back.Am I wrong,you seem to be in good spirits?(Ahamdulillah)May Allah bless you also.Its great to hear that he whats to be nice, for any reason thats a sign of love there.If he truly realize that divorce is not necessisary and maybe its his way of trying to makeup with you.(by being nice) I know how hard it is to see someone you love hurting.I think he knows how you feel.Do you know how he feels?Is your husban in good health? some men have certain health problems when they reach a certain age.Im just reaching with this one but you know how in order for a men to marry in the first place they have to be able to concemate.Some men have these problems later on in life.(you get it)you dont have to answer that.It could be embarassing for him.He whats to spend time as a family( good).You all should talk as a family these situations affects everyone in the family.Remember Prophet Muhammed (SAW)says:   Fortunate is the one whose own faults(seeking them)preoccupy him from seeking faults of others.


Posted By: Imani
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 11:41am
Amen!

-------------
"But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7)
peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 12:27pm
Originally posted by Imani Imani wrote:

Amen!


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 4:31pm
Hello again,

Thank you so much. I do not know what is going on in this husbands mind. He is in very good health. I
think maybe he is just stressed out and confused in him
life at this time. He called me again today and brought
me dinner. I just do not understand him. He is driving
my emotions crazy. I am tired of being on a roller coaster with these emotions. He talks about things for
the house and just does not act like we have a future ever together. What do I do now? He acts like he wants
me to have a good future and that things will change, but
he never says that we will be together again.
I really need prayer today. I am so confused on what is
going on........

Thank you so much for your kind responses.

Allah bless us all..............

Sharon


Posted By: Imani
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 9:31pm
Salam Sharon
Be very calm and dont act so fast. Just observe his actions and movements.
If he brings out the topic about your marriage then you can proceed with every plan you have.
For know just be nice to him and concentrate on your prayers and the well being of your kids.
Do not be afraid and confused, ALLAH is in control.Smile
Try to be normal with yourself and focus.


-------------
"But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7)
peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 25 November 2008 at 4:23am
Originally posted by Imani Imani wrote:

Salam Sharon

Be very calm and dont act so fast. Just observe his actions and movements.

If he brings out the topic about your marriage then you can proceed with every plan you have.

For know just be nice to him�and concentrate on your prayers and the well being of your kids.

Do not be afraid and confused, ALLAH is in control.[IMG]http://www.islamicity.com/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif" height="17" width="17" align="absmiddle" alt="Smile" />

Try to be normal with yourself and focus.
As salaamulaikum Imani.Very nice of you to be there for the Sister in her time of need.May Allah bless you.


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 25 November 2008 at 5:45am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Hello again,

Thank you so much. I do not know what is going on in this husbands mind. He is in very good health. I
think maybe he is just stressed out and confused in him
life at this time. He called me again today and brought
me dinner. I just do not understand him. He is driving
my emotions crazy. I am tired of being on a roller coaster with these emotions. He talks about things for
the house and just does not act like we have a future ever together. What do I do now? He acts like he wants
me to have a good future and that things will change, but
he never says that we will be together again.
I really need prayer today. I am so confused on what is
going on........

Thank you so much for your kind responses.

Allah bless us all..............

Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.Again I am very pleased to hear from you.You are in my prayers my sister and your family.Whatever you do dont force him into dicissions he is not ready to make.Practise patience.Ive read in Ahadith before, visit someone enough and love will develope.I wish that I could give you a solution to your problem but I can't.Only Allah can.I will be here for support (Inshallah).I would like to talk about have your husban ever expressed interest in having more than one wife or is one just to much.Last Ramadan my Imam gave a speech about the importance of marriage.I thought to myself Im not ready for this again.Only Allah knows if its meant to be.Do not let your emotions get the best of you,somethings are just out of our control.Like Imani says stay calm and choose the right things to say at the right moment. (Inshallah)When I was married and I was faced with divorce,I tried everything I could to make the transition easy for everyone even though it was happening basicly to me.Belive me sister I know well what you are going through its very sad.The more I tried the more I further push her away.You and your husban with the help of Allah Al Aziz,raised two healthy boys and had 28yrs together (Allahuakbar).Thats a long time,speaking of marriage today in American society.I know in Muslim Society it should be long but the truth is nothing happens except if Allah Wills it to happen.Maybe your husban looks at his life and feels thats all he has done with it.Even though its a wonderfull thing and he says he whats you to be happy.You should, but you are most happy with him and you also gave 28yrs of yourself.Sister it is always good to have someone to talk to,in order to best prepare yourself.So he comes over and bring you food thats good(Ahamduillah).Not to be nosey but,Is your husban the sole provider in your house?If so then you feel that he is all you have?Do you have any hobbies,activeties,something to preoccupy your time,or maybe make new friends at your local Masjids.I heard you say he has friends but, do you? May Allah except our intentions.(Inshallah)Ameen.Please reply back I would like to know that you are doing o.k


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 25 November 2008 at 5:48am
Thank you so much. I will keep praying to ALLAH for
the strength and guidance this time. I know ALLAH has
a plan for our lives, and I am at fault for pressuring
my husband. I have really been with a closed voice around him lately, trying to not say a word about the
relationship between us. All I can do is have the faith
that ALLAH will bring him back to me and that we will be
very happy in the future. I know it takes time to work
out a relationship, but I just get to upset and obsess about it.
Again, thank you for all your prayers, and may ALLAH
bless you.

Thanks again,
Sharon


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 25 November 2008 at 3:17pm
Hello again,
I am really having a bad day today. My emotions are
really bizarre. It is so hard to cope with this reality
now. My husband has never mentioned anything about getting another wife. Do you believe that their is a soulmate for everyone?   I am about to give up on this
relationship totally. I am tired of being upset and
why is he so nice lately?
To your question about the income, he works and I
work part-time and going to go back full time soon.
I need to get a full time job to take care of myself.
I just do not want to be alone at this age and I do
not want to be with anyone else except him. I know
that my sound selfish, but after so many years together
I can not accept that he is gone and will never be back.
I wish he would not be so nice, unless he has plans in
the future with me. Please tell me what is the reason
for being so nice to me.
I try to stay busy all the time, but I think about him
80 percent of the time. Every where I go, I see something that reminds me of him. The memories are so
strong all the time.   I need help..... I feel like I
have a disease that will not cure. I do not know what
to do anyone.   I am so afraid that he is being nice
so he can finally leave me forever. That this his exit
in my life. He pays the house note and he has paid it
for the next 2 months ahead of time. How can he do so
much for me lately, and then not love me anymore.
I want him back home, but he talks like it is over.
It is as if I can get a full time job and then he will
be gone forever, as long as I can support myself.
I keep praying for a change to happen, but am I wasting
my time on wanting him back in my life.

I hope you will continue to pray for me and that ALLAH
will help me soon on what to do and to be a stronger
person now, as I need help.

May ALLAH bless us all.

Sharon


Posted By: Imani
Date Posted: 26 November 2008 at 1:21am
salam sharon.
Your emotions are very strong. Do not let your heart take control over you.
Please be focused in life. Be very ready for any change in life. Remember that we can not always have what we want. Dont try to build castles in the air. It is definately in possible to do that.
Let ALLAH get absolute control over you and your affairs. What ever the result may be do not be sad or worried although it hirts.
Your husband is being nice to you because he knows his role in this matter of yours. So dont be overwhelmed by his actions.
I do not know you but i must say that you are a very soft person as far as emotions are concerned.Smile
So please wake up for yourself and your boys.
Be ever ready for any change in life.
Life is full of agonies and sorrow. Inshalla if you are able to over come them you will gain a handsome reward from ALLAH.
Tell yourself that you can live with or without him with the help and mercy of ALLAH.
Stay blessed and may ALLAH bestow his mercy upon you always. Amen!Big%20smile


-------------
"But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7)
peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 26 November 2008 at 5:11am
Hello again

I am giving up on the relationship with my husband and I.
I think it is a losing battle for me. I have to move on
in my life and take care of myself. I am getting sick
with my nerves over this. I believe ALLAH will help me
at this time, but I need to realize that my husband does
not love me and want to be with me. So I need to be strong and just say that it is over. It hurts so much
to give up on him, but I will be crazy if I do not give
up. I always believed that we all have a soulmate in
life but I guess I lost mine.

May ALLAH bless us all.
I will pray to ALLAH to give me the strength and the
guidance and to keep the faith strong in my life.

Sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 26 November 2008 at 7:05am
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.As always im very pleased to hear from you sister.You and your family are in my prayers much lately.It is o.k that he is being nice.These things are very complicated for both of you and he knows that you hurt.It seems that you are coming to realize that the end of you two is near?Im so sorry for that,but know that Allah is Most Gracious Most MercifullYou must seek Him for strength.Your husban is nice because it is what Allah wants read Surah 2 221-232 it is where Allah speaks of marriage and divorce,and what a man and women should do.I never received an answer for do you have any wali?If not that I will be.May Allah except our intentions.


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 26 November 2008 at 8:10am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Hello again,
I am really having a bad day today. My emotions are
really bizarre. It is so hard to cope with this reality
now. My husband has never mentioned anything about getting another wife. Do you believe that their is a soulmate for everyone?   I am about to give up on this
relationship totally. I am tired of being upset and
why is he so nice lately?
To your question about the income, he works and I
work part-time and going to go back full time soon.
I need to get a full time job to take care of myself.
I just do not want to be alone at this age and I do
not want to be with anyone else except him. I know
that my sound selfish, but after so many years together
I can not accept that he is gone and will never be back.
I wish he would not be so nice, unless he has plans in
the future with me. Please tell me what is the reason
for being so nice to me.
I try to stay busy all the time, but I think about him
80 percent of the time. Every where I go, I see something that reminds me of him. The memories are so
strong all the time.   I need help..... I feel like I
have a disease that will not cure. I do not know what
to do anyone.   I am so afraid that he is being nice
so he can finally leave me forever. That this his exit
in my life. He pays the house note and he has paid it
for the next 2 months ahead of time. How can he do so
much for me lately, and then not love me anymore.
I want him back home, but he talks like it is over.
It is as if I can get a full time job and then he will
be gone forever, as long as I can support myself.
I keep praying for a change to happen, but am I wasting
my time on wanting him back in my life.

I hope you will continue to pray for me and that ALLAH
will help me soon on what to do and to be a stronger
person now, as I need help.

May ALLAH bless us all.

Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.Its always pleasing to hear from you.Yes I do believe that there is a soulmate for everyone.And I also believe that love does not die. Sometimes it retiers though.You are not wasting your time waiting for him to come back,After four months of time he must decide.In this life we as people try to make decissions for ourselves based on our wants and needs.We have to seek what Allah wants for us and what Allah wants for us is the best for us.Sister Sharon for every sickness there is a cure.He does things for you because he loves you in away that someone who cares should.If he talks like its over then it has to be excepted.Im sorry but, know this Sister your life is not over and Allah does not allow us to suffer for long.Your faith is with Allah not your husban.You say that you dont want to be alone at your age?You are hurting and I also hurt with you for I have never had the pleasure of having the love of a Muslim women.You two have been blessed to have had 28yrs together.Can you two possibly find a way to spark some passion in your lives?Example)You share a passion for Allah.May Allah give strength and heal you aching heart.(Ameen)Please write back you are not along Allah is ever present.(Seek Him)


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 26 November 2008 at 11:49am

Originally posted by Akhe Abdullah Akhe Abdullah wrote:

,After four months of time he must decide.

 

Is this a fiqh position Akhe Abdullah?

 

Originally posted by Akhe Abdullah Akhe Abdullah wrote:

You say that you dont want to be alone at your age? may I ask what that is?

 

What is the relevance in knowing her age?



Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 26 November 2008 at 6:34pm
Surah 2 Ayat 224-227                             Bismilla ARahman ARahim           And make not Allah's (name) an excuse In your oaths against Doing good,or acting rightly,Or making peace Between persons; For Allah is One Who heareth and knoweth All things. Allah will not Call you to account For thoughtlessness In your oaths, But for the intention In your hearts,And He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. For those who take An oath for Abstention From their wives,A waiting for four months Is ordained; If then they return, Allah is Oft-Forgiving,Most Merciful. But if their intention Is firm for divorce, Allah heareth And Knoweth all things.


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 26 November 2008 at 6:52pm
Originally posted by abuayisha abuayisha wrote:

<P =Msonormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-: EN">
Originally posted by Akhe Abdullah Akhe Abdullah wrote:

,After four months of time he must decide.
<?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN>


<P =Msonormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-: EN"><o:p>�</o:p></SPAN>


<P =Msonormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-: EN">Is this a fiqh position Akhe Abdullah?<o:p></o:p></SPAN>


<P =Msonormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-: EN"><o:p>�</o:p></SPAN>


<P =Msonormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-: EN">
Originally posted by Akhe Abdullah Akhe Abdullah wrote:

You say that you dont want to be alone at your age? may I ask what that is?
<o:p></o:p></SPAN>


<P =Msonormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-: EN"><o:p>�</o:p></SPAN>


<P =Msonormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal"><SPAN lang=EN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-: EN">What is the relevance in knowing her age?</SPAN><o:p></o:p>

As salaamulaikum Abuayisha.The Sister brought up age.I asked May I ask.It wasnt direct and I have edited it out now,for the sake of I may have been wrong.I am sorry. Ribbigh-fir leeI am only trying to help her and I am not trying to over step my bounderies(Inshallah)I always say Dua May Allah except our intentions.(Ameen)


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 26 November 2008 at 8:01pm
Hello again,

Thank you so much for your kindness. I feel like I need
a lot of prayer at this time and I will always pray for
ALLAH to make me stronger everyday and that you will continue to pray for me and my husband at this time.
I need the strength from ALLAH more than ever in my life.
I will pray that things will be ok for me now. I will
try to live my life like ALLAH wants me to and that someday I will be a stronger person and live my life,
either with my husband or by myself.
Please continue to pray for me.

Thank you so much for being their for me lately.

May ALLAH bless us and keep us all safe and stronger each day of our lives.

Sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 27 November 2008 at 5:15am
[QUOTE=sharonjundi] Hello again,

Thank you so much for your kindness. I feel like I need
a lot of prayer at this time and I will always pray for
ALLAH to make me stronger everyday and that you will continue to pray for me and my husband at this time.
I need the strength from ALLAH more than ever in my life.
I will pray that things will be ok for me now. I will
try to live my life like ALLAH wants me to and that someday I will be a stronger person and live my life,
either with my husband or by myself.
Please continue to pray for me.

Thank you so much for being their for me lately.

May ALLAH bless us and keep us all safe and stronger each day of our lives.

Sharon [/QUOTE As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.As always its good to hear from you.I will continue to pray for you and your family.Enjoy your dinner with them today.I am very blessed to have the oppurtunity to be there for you.I may have to limit what I say (Inshallah).May Allah guide your hearts and minds,Open your eyes and let you see eachother for the first time.(Ameen).May Allah except our intentions.(Ameen.)


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 27 November 2008 at 5:45am
Thank you and may you have a blessed day. Enjoy the
thanksgiving today.
May ALLAH bless us today and have a wonderful fulfilled
day in his presence.

Sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 28 November 2008 at 7:05am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Thank you and may you have a blessed day. Enjoy the
thanksgiving today.
May ALLAH bless us today and have a wonderful fulfilled
day in his presence.

Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.(Ahamduillah)Your welcome.(Ameen)I pray that it went well.


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 28 November 2008 at 1:50pm
I had a good day for Thanksgiving. My husband came over
and ate lunch with me and the boys. I told him earlier
not to come over, and to go and enjoy lunch with him brother and their family. But he chose to come to the
house and eat. I still have mixed feelings on what he
is doing. I pray that he had good intentions on coming
over. He never talks about our relationship. I am
still so confused on his actions lately. Thank you
for all your prayers. I pray ALLAH will still help
me and I hope and pray soon I will receive an answer
on what will happen between my husband and I.

Sharon


Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 28 November 2008 at 6:36pm
Asalam Akaikum Sharon,
 
I just read this thread and my Duas are with you. It is hard to go through these struggles. They are our test. And those who are most devoted get strongly tested!
 
Ultimately.. seek to be closer to you Creator. The ONE to whom you shall return. These tests can be hard. Seek Al Wadood.. the Loving One.
 


-------------
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 5:13am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

I had a good day for Thanksgiving. My husband came over
and ate lunch with me and the boys. I told him earlier
not to come over, and to go and enjoy lunch with him brother and their family. But he chose to come to the
house and eat. I still have mixed feelings on what he
is doing. I pray that he had good intentions on coming
over. He never talks about our relationship. I am
still so confused on his actions lately. Thank you
for all your prayers. I pray ALLAH will still help
me and I hope and pray soon I will receive an answer
on what will happen between my husband and I.

Sharon
As Salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.(Ahamduillah)You had a good day (Ahamduillah)You had a bad day.Never loose Faith in Allah and you will grow stronger for man will let you down puting your faith in them.Stay focus if its Allahs (SWT)will it will be.


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 5:18am
Originally posted by Hayfa Hayfa wrote:

Asalam Akaikum Sharon,

I just read this thread and my Duas are with you. It is hard to go through these struggles. They are our test. And those who are most devoted get strongly tested!


Ultimately.. seek to be closer to you Creator. The ONE to whom you shall return. These tests can be hard. Seek Al Wadood.. the Loving One.

As salaamulaikum Hayfa.Jazakallah Khair for your reply she needs the encouragement.May Allah bless us all and countinue to give us good intentions in our hearts.(Ameen)


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 3:14pm
I want to thank you for your prayers and support. I have
had a better weekend. Now, today I am asking my husband
what his intentions are in our relationship... It has
been over 4 months since our seperation. I need to know
what he wants, but I do not feel like it is his decision only to ask for a divorce. Is that correct?
Should it be both of our decisions, or can he make the
decision by himself. I am tired and stressed out over
what he is doing. I do not want this to become a divorce
but what can I do? It seems like he wants to make all
the decisions now. Please tell me is this correct, or
can I dispute it.
I pray to ALLAH for more guidance and let him decide what
is the right thing to do.

Please pray for me and thank you for being so kind and
replying back to me.

ALLAH bless us all and keep us strong and safe in our
lives.

Sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 9:26am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

I want to thank you for your prayers and support. I have
had a better weekend. Now, today I am asking my husband
what his intentions are in our relationship... It has
been over 4 months since our seperation. I need to know
what he wants, but I do not feel like it is his decision only to ask for a divorce. Is that correct?
Should it be both of our decisions, or can he make the
decision by himself. I am tired and stressed out over
what he is doing. I do not want this to become a divorce
but what can I do? It seems like he wants to make all
the decisions now. Please tell me is this correct, or
can I dispute it.
I pray to ALLAH for more guidance and let him decide what
is the right thing to do.

Please pray for me and thank you for being so kind and
replying back to me.

ALLAH bless us all and keep us strong and safe in our
lives.

Sharon
As Salaamulaikum.Sister Sharonjundi Im always pleased to hear from you.(Ahamduillah) you had a better weekend.If you are willing to ask a question,then you should be ready for the answer.Weather if you are wiiling to except the answer is another question.How about instead of asking what your husbans intentions are asks is there any chance of reconciliation.I pray that Allah will soften your hearts and your words and no matter what the out come is to be that you two will find peace with eachother and one day reconcile.Regaurdless Sister Sharon remain a good Muslim woman thats what Allah loves.Im sorry if things doesnt turn out the way you want them too.You have to remember (Ahamduillah) for everything good or bad.As for your Questions yes he can.But sister have patience you always say(it seems like he wants a divorce)you should indeed know for sure because he might just wants to be alone.Sometimes people get tired of making choices for more than one person it can seem like your brain is overcrowded.Forgive me for that I just had to give you and example of how I use to feel at times.Dont get discouraged keep faith in Allah and let him be your guide.


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 1:48pm
Good Afternoon

Thank you for replying back to me. I am trying to be strong now and I do have stronger faith in ALLAH right
now, but sometimes I feel like I am lost and no one can
find me and help me. I have strong faith more than ever.
I will still pray that my husband will come back, but
I just get tired of dealing with this.
My husband avoids me when I ask him any questions about
our relations. Why does he do this?
I know that you said that sometimes people need time to clear
their heads and are stressed out about things. So what
do I do, just leave him alone for a long time and let
him sort things out?
I am getting to impatient now. It has been over 4 months
since he left. Did I do wrong by asking him to give me
an answer on whether he wants a divorce?
Please advise me what I should do.
May ALLAH bless us all and guide us and give us strength
that we indure.

Thanks again for replying back to me.
Sharon


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 6:56pm
Hello again,

I know now that it will be over for my husband and I.
Thanks so much for all your prayers and support....

I really appreciate the effort and support that you
have given me in the past. I now know that ALLAH
does not want us to share our lives together any
more. Thanks again for all the support.

May ALLAH bless us all........
Thanks once again.

Sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 8:20am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Good Afternoon

Thank you for replying back to me. I am trying to be strong now and I do have stronger faith in ALLAH right
now, but sometimes I feel like I am lost and no one can
find me and help me. I have strong faith more than ever.
I will still pray that my husband will come back, but
I just get tired of dealing with this.
My husband avoids me when I ask him any questions about
our relations. Why does he do this?
I know that you said that sometimes people need time to clear
their heads and are stressed out about things. So what
do I do, just leave him alone for a long time and let
him sort things out?
I am getting to impatient now. It has been over 4 months
since he left. Did I do wrong by asking him to give me
an answer on whether he wants a divorce?
Please advise me what I should do.
May ALLAH bless us all and guide us and give us strength
that we indure.

Thanks again for replying back to me.
Sharon
As Salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.As always I am Please to hear from you.I am also sad for you, I have prayed much for you lately.My Sister do not get obsessed over this I pray that no one has to ever go through this but it happens.Prophet (SAW)says:Your love for something can make you blind and deaf.Do not loose focus.If your husban no longer wants to be with you.Be the better person,support him and his decission,most divorces leave the man and women bitter at each other. maybe he does not know what he wants.(start with love end with love)It seems that you cant help yourself wanting to know an answer.I know its hard on you my dear sister.May Allah help you through your troubled times and give you strength.


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 8:43am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Hello again,

I know now that it will be over for my husband and I.
Thanks so much for all your prayers and support....

I really appreciate the effort and support that you
have given me in the past. I now know that ALLAH
does not want us to share our lives together any
more. Thanks again for all the support.

May ALLAH bless us all........
Thanks once again.

Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.It's always good to hear from you.I want to know that you are doing good (Inshallah).Hey'If it is Allah(SWT) will then it is.But know that men have there own will and do what they want not what is right by Allah.How are (you) doing?Do you like pets?You need something to keep you occupied,Can you volunteer for anything at your Masjid.I know you have to have at least one friend you never answered that question?No one to talk to in person?


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 2:23pm
Hello again,

I am trying to keep busy. I have a few friends, but they
are mostly from work. They like to go out to places that
I do not care to go.
I enjoy going out to eat and to the movies.
My son that lives here with me, took me out over the
weekend for lunch and shopping. I love to go shopping
even if I do not buy anything.
I have a grand daughter that is 3 years of age.
Her daddy is from my oldest son Ali.
She brings me lots of joy.
I also have a dog and a cat. They are very special to me. Thank you so much again for all your kindness.
I hope your life is not as sad as mine.
May ALLAH Bless you for being there for me lately.
You have become a good friend for me.......
Thanks again so much for your kindness and I will always
pray that ALLAH gives me more strength and peace from now on........
Sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 05 December 2008 at 6:02am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Hello again,

I am trying to keep busy. I have a few friends, but they
are mostly from work. They like to go out to places that
I do not care to go.
I enjoy going out to eat and to the movies.
My son that lives here with me, took me out over the
weekend for lunch and shopping. I love to go shopping
even if I do not buy anything.
I have a grand daughter that is 3 years of age.
Her daddy is from my oldest son Ali.
She brings me lots of joy.
I also have a dog and a cat. They are very special to me. Thank you so much again for all your kindness.
I hope your life is not as sad as mine.
May ALLAH Bless you for being there for me lately.
You have become a good friend for me.......
Thanks again so much for your kindness and I will always
pray that ALLAH gives me more strength and peace from now on........
Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.(Alhamduillah).Once again I am pleased to hear from you, though sadden by the bad news.(Ahamduillah)You still have some joy in your life,thats great" to know you are not alone.May Allah continue to give you joy in this life and the next.(Inshallah)(Ameen)


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 05 December 2008 at 6:55am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:



 I love to go shopping
even if I do not buy anything.
 
Really?Smile


Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 05 December 2008 at 6:20pm
oh shopping.. .lol
 
I am impressed that people can do that.. .I am an in and out type of person..
 
So what do I do, just leave him alone for a long time and let
him sort things out?
 
Can you hit him over the head with a frying pan?? ooops... lol  But seriously.. people can be just SO frustrating.. like hello... make a decision and get on with it.  hmm maybe the frying pan may work??  Whay do you folks think?


-------------
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 05 December 2008 at 8:35pm
That is funny. I thought about if someone would just
hit him in the head, maybe he would realize what he is
doing, not only to me, but to this sons also.
You know, I have decided to just leave him alone.....
I am trying to totally cut him out of my life and move
on.   I am tired of what he has done to me. He just keeps leading me on........
So I told him never to call me or come by anymore.
LEAVE ME ALONE.............I told him.....
SO lets see what happens now.
Sharon   


Posted By: Imani
Date Posted: 05 December 2008 at 11:56pm
hello sharon.
good to hear that from you.
So when you said that to him, did he do any sign of respond. I mean did his action showed that he was pleased with what you said.
Any way we are all looking forward to what happens next.
If he is going to come by to your house.
LoL!Smile


-------------
"But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7)
peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 06 December 2008 at 6:19am
Hello,

His reactions was with anger. He said if I had the
money I would have already gotten a divorce. So that
is when I told him to never come by the house or call
me. I told him then to just leave me alone......
Let him enjoy his life and I will enjoy mine without
him.............It has been two days and I have not
heard from him..   He does this. And then about 1 week
later he usually calls or comes by the house. Let's
see what happens this time. I need to stay strong and
let it be. Whatever ALLAH wills, then it will happen.
I am going shopping today, because that usually helps
me to not think about him for a while.
Thank you a my ALLAH bless us all.

Sharon


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 06 December 2008 at 6:36am
Originally posted by Hayfa Hayfa wrote:

.. .I am an in and out type of person.. 
 
Thumbs%20Up


Posted By: chkwf
Date Posted: 06 December 2008 at 7:58am

assalamu alaikum

you have to define at first the problem .
what make  your husband taking the  decision to leave you.
did he saw something bad from you?
try to discuss  with him to know  the problem . may be he misunderstood  you on some matters or you are too hard with  him on other matters.
from what I  see in your post ,  you really care about him its so nice too  see  that but you have to show him how much he means for you.
put  your beautiful clothes , invite  him to a beautiful  and calm place and  try to discuss with him the matter.tell him  how much his  kids miss him .
may  god help you.
 
 


Posted By: jhaskell48
Date Posted: 06 December 2008 at 8:18am
Assalam alaikum Sharon:
I have been following your posts and my heart goes out to you.  I also am admiring your strength and your faith in Allah.  You can get through this and you will, whatever the outcome.  I am going through a terrible time and reading the Qur'an is bringing me an incredible amount of peace and comfort.   I am praying for you.

Al Bafqarah 2:256 "...whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy Handhold, that never breaks.  And Allah heareth and knoweth all things."


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 06 December 2008 at 3:15pm
Hello

I tryed that in the past. We had a great time going
out and then all of a sudden he got just decided that
when I asked him if he wanted to come home, he said
yes and then he never came back. He just calls and
does not want to be with me. I know that in the past
that he has been stressed with a lot of things in his
life. I would say that our relationship with each
other was not the same for the past year before he
moved out. But then after he moved out, then we started
going out every weekend, as if we were on a date.
Then after I asked him to come home, he agreed and then
when it was time to move back, he avoided me for about
1 week. I do not know what is wrong with this man. I
think he is crazy. Mentally ill............



Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 06 December 2008 at 5:59pm
Salaams Sharon,
 
You know, sometimes one should be a bit distant.. its sort of like, be your dynamic, beautiful self.. really.. its like, let him know he'd be a fool to let you go.. really he would, we know that.Its like pure foolishness.. and you know.. let him know that YOUR priority is Allah, and serving Allah. And that means a good marriage. Either he is on board or not. And if not, get out of the way.. life is very short and you hve no time to wait. You want to share your life with him, but well.. no one can control another.
 
How many men come back when they realize what they will loose or have lost. Let him know you love him , but you, as a human being deserves respect.  I remember this quote by Gandhi,
"no one can hurt me without my permission."
 
Some poeple just go through these phases.. but he has to decide on his priorities in life. Mine is Jannah, we all forget but we should try to keep it in mind.
 
And its funny, once people get in this mind set, the others realize you are not kidding. Many get themselves together.
 
And if all else fails, get out the frying pan sister.. Cool


-------------
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 07 December 2008 at 4:52am
I have told him how I feel about him.... He knows that I
love him and miss him, but I can not make someone love
me. He said that he has changed in the past year and that he wants to be alone. He said it is nothing that
I did. He just wants to live him life and be alone for
now. I think that is very selfish...........
He knows that I love him.   I have told him many times.
I told him that we should go to counseling. He will not
do any of that. I guess he enjoys being by himself. I
did many things in the past months to try to be with him.
We went out to dinner, to the movies, shopping, and them
all of a sudden, he rejects me.......Like the DEVIL was
inside of him..... He acted to crazy. Then he asked to
come over for dinner for the thanksgiving holiday and
I told him if he felt in his heart that he wanted to be
with us, hew was more than welcome. So he came over.
Then he came over for 3 days after that. Said he was
trying to help around the house. Then I asked him why,
and that were his intentions on still getting a divorce.
Then he said if he had the money, he would have already
gotten it. He said that when he came by the house, that
he guesses it was confusing me. After I had told him,
not to come by and not to be nice to me. So who is the
confused one????????? HIM.........
This man is crazy. What does he want???? So I decided
to just leave him alone and hopely with ALLAH's help,
either he will decide to come home or just leave me alone. I know that I miss him very much, but I try to
stay very busy so I do not cry everyday. I have my
granddaughter, who is 3 years old with me this weekend.
So we have been very busy..... She is such a joy in my
life. I thank ALLAH everyday for her....

May ALLAH bless us all and you all have a wonderful
week...........
Please keep praying for me..........

Thanks again,

Sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 07 December 2008 at 4:58am
[QUOTE=Hayfa] Salaams Sharon,

You know, sometimes one should be a bit distant.. its sort of like, be your dynamic, beautiful self.. really.. its like, let him know he'd be a fool to let you go.. really he would, we know that.Its like pure foolishness.. and you know.. let him know that YOUR priority is Allah, and serving Allah. And that means a good marriage. Either he is on board or not. And if not, get out of the way.. life is very short and you hve no time to wait. You want to share your life with him, but well.. no one can control another.


How many men come back when they realize what they will loose or have lost. Let him know you love him , but you, as a human being deserves respect.� I remember this quote by Gandhi,

"no one can hurt me without my permission."


Some poeple just go through these phases.. but he has to decide on his priorities in life. Mine is Jannah, we all forget but we should try to keep it in mind.


And its funny, once people get in this mind set, the others realize you are not kidding. Many get themselves together.


And if all else fails, get out the frying pan sister.. [IMG>http://www.islamicity.com/forum/smileys/smiley16.gif" height="17" width="17" align="absmiddle" alt="Cool" />
[/QUOTE As salaamulaikum Hayfa Jazakallah Khair for your reply the sister needs to hear that.


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 07 December 2008 at 7:24am
I will get out the frying pan.......Ha Ha Will that
knock some sense back in him.... I doubt it with this man.   He has his mind up that he wants to alone in this
time of his life. So I will just leave him alone...........


Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 07 December 2008 at 3:52pm
You know, I a taking this class for certification. And you know some of the method defies my logic.. it really does... noty to go into it.. but at times we must laugh at the absurdities of our lives.
 
I am a very serious, intense person and I MUST make efforts to laugh.. really just look at life. We humans do the most absurd things.. we are often so self-absorbed we forget to take a step back and reflect. How often do we focus on the innane-meaningless stuff???
 
I mean really, how many of us are running around in silly, often mindless circles?? I am not talking about those who face serious struggle.. but how often do we make our own lives harder..
 
i say tell him the bus is going, are you on or off.. if not see ya later..
 
 


-------------
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 08 December 2008 at 7:23am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

I have told him how I feel about him.... He knows that I
love him and miss him, but I can not make someone love
me. He said that he has changed in the past year and that he wants to be alone. He said it is nothing that
I did. He just wants to live him life and be alone for
now. I think that is very selfish...........
He knows that I love him.   I have told him many times.
I told him that we should go to counseling. He will not
do any of that. I guess he enjoys being by himself. I
did many things in the past months to try to be with him.
We went out to dinner, to the movies, shopping, and them
all of a sudden, he rejects me.......Like the DEVIL was
inside of him..... He acted to crazy. Then he asked to
come over for dinner for the thanksgiving holiday and
I told him if he felt in his heart that he wanted to be
with us, hew was more than welcome. So he came over.
Then he came over for 3 days after that. Said he was
trying to help around the house. Then I asked him why,
and that were his intentions on still getting a divorce.
Then he said if he had the money, he would have already
gotten it. He said that when he came by the house, that
he guesses it was confusing me. After I had told him,
not to come by and not to be nice to me. So who is the
confused one????????? HIM.........
This man is crazy. What does he want???? So I decided
to just leave him alone and hopely with ALLAH's help,
either he will decide to come home or just leave me alone. I know that I miss him very much, but I try to
stay very busy so I do not cry everyday. I have my
granddaughter, who is 3 years old with me this weekend.
So we have been very busy..... She is such a joy in my
life. I thank ALLAH everyday for her....

May ALLAH bless us all and you all have a wonderful
week...........
Please keep praying for me..........

Thanks again,

Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.(Alhamduillah)It seems that you are making progress(Inshallah)(Alhamduillah)Dua is the key I am so glad that more and more people are responding to you our brave sister.Yes you are, not alot of people let alone Muslim,would publicly discuss such matters.I aplaud you for that and everybody who has made dua for you.May Allah continue to bless each and every one of us in our times of need(Ameen). Indeed Allah is there for us


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 08 December 2008 at 1:43pm
Hello,
I had a better day today.... I still cry on the way
home from work each day, but I am getting better. I know
that ALLAH is watching over me everyday and that in time
I will be ok. I still miss my husband, but by the strength of ALLAH, I am getting a little better each and
everyday. I pray everyday and hopefully things will change. I know in my heart that if it be ALLAH's Will
for my husband to come back, that it will happen. I am
not duelling on it like I used to in the past. I am
moving forward each and every day.... It is still very
hard to do, but I have no other choice in life, but to
try to accept what has happened and move forward........
It is easy to say this, but in reality, it is so.......
hard to do....... Please keep praying for me, that things
will change in my life and if it is ALLAH's will, then
it will happen soon............. Bring my husband back
or either make me such a strong person to keep on going
in my life.....
May ALLAH bless us all and keep us strong and safe in this lifetime..

Sharon



Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 08 December 2008 at 7:06pm
Hi sharon,
 
My Duas are with you..it is hard.. and that's all we can do is lean on Allah and take it day by day...
 
Hayfa


-------------
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 09 December 2008 at 2:01pm
Thanks again for all the prayers that you have done for me. I do not believe anything is going to change this
man's decision.... We have a 24 year anniversary on
December 14 this year. I am so hurt and heart broken
and sad today. I know that it will be so difficult for
me on December 14..... I pray for ALLAH to give me
lots of strength on this day..... I know that I will
probably stay in bed crying most of the day.....
May ALLAH bless us and keep us strong in the times of
hardship...............
May ALLAH bless us all..........
Sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 09 December 2008 at 5:03pm
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Thanks again for all the prayers that you have done for me. I do not believe anything is going to change this
man's decision.... We have a 24 year anniversary on
December 14 this year. I am so hurt and heart broken
and sad today. I know that it will be so difficult for
me on December 14..... I pray for ALLAH to give me
lots of strength on this day..... I know that I will
probably stay in bed crying most of the day.....
May ALLAH bless us and keep us strong in the times of
hardship...............
May ALLAH bless us all..........
Sharon [IMG]smileys/smiley19.gif" align="middle" />
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.Crying takes the rust off the heart its okay a wise Imam ounce said.(Alhamduillah) for everything good or bad remember that.Its apart of our short life here on earth.Allah has a cure for your heart ache turn to him.Im sad that you are hurting Try to stay positive on the day of your anniversary take time to reflect on the years Allah have given you two.And again (Alhamduillah)Thank Allah Ta ala for that. Alot of times we never miss the water until the well runs dry.Lets see what happens.Would you be happy if he came over to celebrate we you and still not come back?


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 10 December 2008 at 1:33pm
Hello,

No I do not want him to come and celebrate our
anniversary, if he is not coming back.... That
would be so hard for me to move on in my life.
If he loves me, then he will remember this time
and will want to be with me. But, I think that
his mind is somewhere else. I am sure that he
will avoid this day altogether. He was something
in his head that he wants to be alone in his life
at this time. I pray so much, but if ALLAH
wanted us to be together, I think by now something
would have happened to my husband.... and he would
at least try an effort of showing some kind of hope
for us to be together.   His mind is made up....
I feel at this time that he does not want me in his
life at all..... I am so sad..........It has been
6 months now and he has not made any changes to
want to work things out.... I still do not know
what the main reason is that he left, except he
said that he changed. He does not want
me in his life anymore. I need to accept this now
even though it hurts so much, I have to move forward
in my life. No matter how much I cry, I have to make
myself move on in life.........
May ALLAH bless us all and pray that things will
change and maybe my husband will come back.\

Sharon


Posted By: kalid
Date Posted: 01 January 2009 at 9:25am
Originally posted by abuayisha abuayisha wrote:

 I suggest that you appeal to those who have intimate knowledge of both you and your husband, because at this critical stage in your life reaching out to strangers may not provide needed moral support or assistance in arbitrating a successful resolution to your troubles. 


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 13 January 2009 at 3:32pm
I tried with no response.

May ALLAH bless us and keep us save.

I will always love my husband no matter what he is going
through in his life at this time. May ALLAH bring him
home to me...........


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 13 January 2009 at 5:52pm
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

I tried with no response.

May ALLAH bless us and keep us save.

I will always love my husband no matter what he is going
through in his life at this time. May ALLAH bring him
home to me...........
                         As Salaamu Alaikum Sister SharonJundi.(Ameen)          Afwan" Sad to hear that.I pray that you are taking care of yourself.Its been a while since your last post.La'alaik"Allahs always there for you put your faith in Allah.


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 14 January 2009 at 2:02pm
Glad to hear from you. I am doing ok. I try to stay
busy, but it is so difficult at some times. I get sad
and discouraged at times, but I know that I will be ok.
I know that it was not anything that I did, for him to
leave me. So I pray that maybe someday he will respond
and want to come back home. Thanks again for your reply
and I hope to hear back from you soon. I am so thankful for someone to talk to......
May ALLAH bless us all and keep us safe.

Sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 14 January 2009 at 9:45pm
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Glad to hear from you. I am doing ok. I try to stay
busy, but it is so difficult at some times. I get sad
and discouraged at times, but I know that I will be ok.
I know that it was not anything that I did, for him to
leave me. So I pray that maybe someday he will respond
and want to come back home. Thanks again for your reply
and I hope to hear back from you soon. I am so thankful for someone to talk to......
May ALLAH bless us all and keep us safe.

Sharon
As Salaamu Alaikum Sister SharonJundi.(Ameen)Alhamduillah"You know that you will be ok.Inshallah" you are in my Duas sister, I love you for Allah sake.As always its a pleasure to hear from you.You are a good women, you need to know that always Sister Sharon.I know that you love your husban for Allah sake as if you have no choice in the matter.(Thats Haqq)I pray that Allah will ease your heart of sorrow.I will reply back soon(Inshallah)we all have been waiting to hear back from you,and you know that I will always reply back respectfully,others keep saying talk to the ones who know you best,they forget what you post earlier.So did you ever hit him over the head?


Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 9:52am
Asalaam Alaikum Sharon,
 
Its good to hear you are hanging in there.. It is not easy. Sometimes we may never know what exactly happens when a relationship changes or ends.
 
Just keep your focus on Allah...
 
My Duas are with you.
 
Hayfa 


-------------
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 2:10pm
Hello,

Thanks so much for your support. I really enjoy getting
responses back from everyone. I am glad that there are
people out there that are friendly and actually are nice
enough to reply back.
No matter what my husband does with his life, I will
support his decision. I know it hurts, but I have no
other choice. Thanks again for all your support....

Hope to hear from you all soon

Sharon

May ALLAH bless us all and keep us safe.


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 17 January 2009 at 6:53am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Hello,

Thanks so much for your support. I really enjoy getting
responses back from everyone. I am glad that there are
people out there that are friendly and actually are nice
enough to reply back.
No matter what my husband does with his life, I will
support his decision. I know it hurts, but I have no
other choice. Thanks again for all your support....

Hope to hear from you all soon

Sharon

May ALLAH bless us all and keep us safe.
(Ameen)As Salaamu Alaikum Sister SharonJundi.May Allah Bless you and heal your heart ache.(Ameen) Sister you have a good heart stay focus threw advesity.May Allah keep us all focus threw adversity.(Ameen)


Posted By: sharonjundi
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 5:05pm
Thank you very much. I am getting stonger and ALLAH
is giving me the strenth to go on every day in my life.
I will always be thankful for ALLAH. He is the greatest
and gives me strenth every day.


sharon


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 19 January 2009 at 4:55am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Thank you very much. I am getting stonger and ALLAH
is giving me the strenth to go on every day in my life.
I will always be thankful for ALLAH. He is the greatest
and gives me strenth every day.


sharon
As Salaamu Alaikum Sister SharonJundi, Al'afw.(you're welcome)Alhamduillah!


Posted By: naziatabassum
Date Posted: 25 February 2009 at 8:14pm
assalamalaikum hayfa nazia here thnks for replying no i m not angry orupset with my parents because my husband he only wanted to marry me knowing tht i dnt want to marry him but i married him just for my father i wanted to marry someone else i can never see my father upset i love him a lot i was trying hard to accept my husband but after our marriage my father n he joined hands in bussiness n for some reason clashes came between them n he broke partnership with my father  within 6 months without giving him his loss amount ths situation n ths period i will never foorget in my life tht was the worst period i faced huge mental torture frm both side i could not support either of thm n whn my husband talked to my father rudely i cannot say hw i felt they even left ths place now i feel very lonely here bcause i dnt know ths place well i blame my husband for all ths may be ths thng is lways in me so i m rude to him i was never like ths before i was a very jolly n fun living girl i dnt knw wht have changed me sooooooooooooooo much.


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 25 February 2009 at 10:16pm
As Salamu Alaikum Sister naziatabassum.May Allah Help you to overcome your situation and give you ease.(Ameen)


Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 29 August 2009 at 3:04am
Hello sister,
my situation is somwhat similar to you,my wife wants to leave me after 4 years of struggle to get her and convince her father.see my post in family matter i wanna save my marraige.
 
may allah give you peace and help in you day trouble.
 
Regards
Faisal


Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 29 August 2009 at 3:44am
hello sister
Salam.hope you can give some advise to me,
 
I got married 2 years back in saudi arabia with my seconf cousin,she is wonderful lady full of life and with a very clean heart,its love marraige and it took a great effort for us to convince her father for this marraige,
 
she fell in love with me 4 years back and she was mad about me,whatever i say whatever i do she was really interested,then after a 2 yr longdistance relation as she was in saudi and i was in india we finally got married,now according to the saudi system girl get married first in sharia court and then the boy gets time to set all the things for the girl and then take formally with a valima party.
 
after marraige i had to go back to india as i had a fight with my employer,now i am here after one year,she is still with her father and i plan to take her with me in november.
after this gap of one year she has developed a starnge disease,when ever i approach her for sex she gets a very bad smell from me and this forces her to hate sex,and recently she also complaint that when she talk to me she feels suffocated and just want to hang up as soon as possible and this has created a great problem for me as i am alone in riyadh and now a days her good qualities like her high confidence and ability to handle difficult situations makes me feel inferior,this is happeneing since she has become very mechanical to me on the phone and her nonparticipation in any of the sexual talk.
 
earlier she loved to be physical with me but now even the thought of it horrifies her,last time we had a fight on the phone as she was rude to me for no reason and i made her cry when she was attending a party and i was and i agree i did a mistake and i said sorry to her,but after this incident she dont me that she might leave me.
 
now the girl who chose me leaving all the rich boys with saudi nationality with high income,the girl who loved my sexual moves says that she might leave me if this problem continues.
 
i am really surprised with her,i left the whole world behind for her,my career,my house everything for her and because of this badsmell problem she says she might leave me,she sounds so selfish i know she has problem,the smell is so bad that she feel like vomiting but instead of finding a solution she says time will solve this problem.
 
I think this is a problem of al ain which means bad eye of someone on our relation or it is possible that someone has done seher on her means black magic,but she is not interested in taking any step to solve this problem accept reading sura bakra.i fight with her frequently and she is just happy with my thought and not my presence,she loves me a lot and i adont want to leave her.


Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 05 September 2009 at 1:49am

Dear sisters,

I am sorry for entering this forum as it is for women only i think,but my problem can be well understood by a woman than any male so i am here seeking your advise,
 
I got married 2 years back in saudi arabia with my seconf cousin,she is wonderful lady full of life and with a very clean heart,its love marraige and it took a great effort for us to convince her father for this marraige,
 
she fell in love with me 4 years back and she was mad about me,whatever i say whatever i do she was really interested,then after a 2 yr longdistance relation as she was in saudi and i was in india we finally got married,now according to the saudi system girl get married first in sharia court and then the boy gets time to set all the things for the girl and then take formally with a valima party.
 
after marraige i had to go back to india as i had a fight with my employer,now i am here after one year,she is still with her father and i plan to take her with me in november.
after this gap of one year she has developed a starnge disease,when ever i approach her for sex she gets a very bad smell from me and this forces her to hate sex,and recently she also complaint that when she talk to me she feels suffocated and just want to hang up as soon as possible and this has created a great problem for me as i am alone in riyadh and now a days her good qualities like her high confidence and ability to handle difficult situations makes me feel inferior,this is happeneing since she has become very mechanical to me on the phone and her nonparticipation in any of the sexual talk.
 
earlier she loved to be physical with me but now even the thought of it horrifies her,last time we had a fight on the phone as she was rude to me for no reason and i made her cry when she was attending a party and i was and i agree i did a mistake and i said sorry to her,but after this incident she dont me that she might leave me.
 
now the girl who chose me leaving all the rich boys with saudi nationality with high income,the girl who loved me says that she might leave me if this problem continues.
 
i am really surprised with her,i left the whole world behind for her,my career,my house everything for her and because of this badsmell problem she says she might leave me,she sounds so selfish i know she has problem,the smell is so bad that she feel like vomiting but instead of finding a solution she says time will solve this problem.
 
I think this is a problem of al ain which means bad eye of someone on our relation or it is possible that someone has done seher on her means black magic,but she is not interested in taking any step to solve this problem accept reading sura bakra.i fight with her frequently and she is just happy with my thought and not my presence,she loves me a lot and i adont want to leave her.
 
I have posted this as "i wanna save my marraige"plz comment sisters


Posted By: Shasta'sAunt
Date Posted: 06 September 2009 at 4:57am

Salaams Brother:

It sounds to me as though she has changed her mind about you and just doesn't want to be married anymore. Maybe she was too young, or her family put pressure on her, or she just decided you are not what she wants.
 
There is probably no smell, she just doesn't want to tell you the truth and this is her way of keeping you away. It's easier than telling you she wants out of the marriage because she changed her mind.
 
If she really loved you and wanted to stay with you she would try anything possible to try and solve any problem and she would not be satisfied with being separated from you for any reason.
 
If you want to see how she really feels, tell her that you feel this problem needs to be solved or you want a divorce. If she does nothing or agrees to divorce you, you have your answer. 
 


-------------
�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt



Print Page | Close Window

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Copyright ©2001-2019 Web Wiz Ltd. - https://www.webwiz.net