|
online marriage...any thoughts??? |
Post Reply 
|
Page 123> |
| Author | |
Aneesah Shabazz 
Starter 
Joined: 12 September 2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4 |
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote Reply
 Topic: online marriage...any thoughts???Posted: 13 September 2007 at 4:20am |
|
Salaam Sister would anybody meet there husband online.i know somebody who meet there husband online they got married nov 3,2006 and they have not seen each other since they got married he don't want to move here with her and she don't want to go there islamic they are not together
i think online marriage is a good topic |
|
 |
|
|
nur1
Starter
Joined: 11 September 2007 Location: Egypt Status: Offline Points: 6 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 September 2007 at 8:56pm |
|
Salamu alaykum sister, Just one reflection about the 3D effect. I think it's not so bad to put this off and learn about the other person with an open but clear mind. Not impacted by looks and let's call it "emotional confusion or excitement". I think we women have tendenciy to get to emotional too soon anyway. Take the time to find out what are the important things for you before you even start writing somebody.Then analyze and ask the right questions, those that are important for two people who plan to live together for the rest of their lives and insha'allah afterwards. And try to find out as much as possible with whom you are dealing (all with the due respect of course). And when you feel confused, you can always retreat and look for answers in your prayers. i wish you the best in your research and don't let the 3D effect fool you... |
|
|
|
|
Aneesah Shabazz
Starter
Joined: 12 September 2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 September 2007 at 12:53pm |
|
as-salaam alakium how are you fine i meet a muslim brother online he come down here to meet me . we been talking on the phone about 3 months personal i don't think it is a good idea now he is in jail i was with him when they stop him i feel somebody for commit a sin
|
|
|
|
|
lovesakeenah
Senior Member 
Joined: 13 June 2007 Status: Offline Points: 459 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 15 August 2007 at 4:18am |
|
AS-salaam alaykum babysteps Just very briefly,I think the issue of'too young' would be an inexhaustible one.The reason most of us would be in 'uniform' here is because when we relate to Islamic rulings on marriage,we might not be using that term'too young'.And to start exploring the is it the 7 or 9 Continents we have now,their culture,custom & what have you? |
|
|
"I have conviction that Allah has power over everything.Verily!Allah's knowledge includes and encompasses everything".
|
|
|
|
|
babysteps
Newbie
Joined: 20 July 2007 Status: Offline Points: 9 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 14 August 2007 at 1:49pm |
|
Wow Cassie. Thank you for sharing! Sorry I didn't get to respond earlier but I truly appreciate it. You are very right about a couple things. Firstly, our situations are not the same. From what I read, you didn't participate in IslamiCity in order to find your soulmate. But, subhanallah, you happened to meet! The question is- would it have been the same if you came on in hopes of finding him, comparing him to others on the site and keeping marriage as the goal? I know when I put it that way it seems so mechanical but it�s not so black and white and this service can lead to success (as salams_wife and saqeen described) and may prevent some opportunities for zeenah to take place too! All in all, I think I have accepted that using the service is no different than not using it. It�s no less or more haram, for lack of a better word, and it�s not more or less efficient. Though it may seem to speed things along, in the end there is no easy way out. Subhannallah, we are always looking for shortcuts. We think that if we set up a profile and search for exactly what we are looking for it will all work out. But then there is that 3D effect (saqeen mentioned) that we need to account for. Are they even willing to relocate (as Cassie mentioned)? I guess what I�m saying is that with the service, the take off is easier, the ice is broken faster BUT then you have to figure out if the relationship will ultimately sink or swim. Without the service, you learn about the person slowly, you get the 3D effect BUT THEN someone has to declare interest and it moves from there. In the end it�s the same difference�.right? Well maybe not exactly the same but I don�t think there are any short cuts- no shortcuts in online services and no shortcuts without. Cassie, you are also right about not marrying too young or simply falling for the romantic bit. Although to each of us, �too young� may mean different things�I guess we do need to �trust our instincts� and trust that Allah(swt) will guide us if our intentions are pure as well. Again, I thank everyone for posting and feel free to continue the discussion! Maybe share what you think �too young� is and why...could be interesting! Salamu Alakum :) ..babysteps.. |
|
|
|
|
Cassandra
Senior Member
Joined: 30 May 2006 Location: Spain Status: Offline Points: 293 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 09 August 2007 at 6:36am |
|
A very personal reply: Dear Babysteps: I have followed the development of this thread, and I have put off writing because I am not Muslim - your situation is different from mine, and I didn't want to tread on any sensibilities. I don't know how old you are. From personal experience I would only caution not to get married too young. For those of you who remember last year, I met Colin online, right here on Islamicity! Gradually (though not too gradually)we realised that we were two sides of the same coin. We have now been together almost a year. We began through writing here, graduated to PM's, both here and on The Pond (which may not still exist?). Eventually we began to phone and I knew straightaway that this man was my "Soulmate". I picked him up at Malaga airport on August 31st. He came from Wales to Spain with two suitcases and a computer (this one actually!) We had never met in person! What a risk! And what a good one! Today, almost a year later, we are very happy and contented in our love. Yes, we have our spats: name me two intelligent and "independent" people who don't! But now, I cannot imagine how I lived my life without him. "Relationships" are hard no matter how they evolve. But men and women not only don't communicate well, often they use a different language altogether! In writing much of that changes (read between the lines - don't fall too much for the Romantic bit - could you live with him is a better question?) But all-in-all, I would recommend on-line "friendships". I hope they don't mind, but both Angela and Patty (long standing members for the US) have both told me they met their mates on-line (not here as far as I know - neither are Muslim, but both a very sympathetic and eager to learn about your religion, as are we). They both have happy, stable relationships. My very best wishes for you and your future. The world is changing; love remains the same. Trust your instincts. You will know. Sincerely, Cassie |
|
|
|
|
babysteps
Newbie
Joined: 20 July 2007 Status: Offline Points: 9 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 05 August 2007 at 8:25pm |
|
Salam sisters and thank you for all the responses!
Under the Q&A (ask the Imam) section on this website I found the following response to a gentlemen�s concern about an online relationship: If indeed marriage is the goal, then there is nothing to be ashamed of or to keep secret if you follow the certain guidelines. By this we mean: 1-You have the true and sincere intention to marry her and you are communicating with her only to get to know her better. 2-Your communication with her is kept at an extreme level of respect and morals. 3-It is advisable to meet her personally with the presence of someone (you should not be alone with her) to follow the advice of prophet Muhammad (pbuh) who said in the Hadith, the meaning of which is that a Muslim should look at the person he wants to marry, for it may generate the feelings of closeness and gentleness between them. and 4-You should not delay the marriage too long. Thank you for asking and Allah knows best. Another guideline was added in a separate response: You should inform your parents about what is happening with you. Additionally: If the prospective partner is of good character, with a strong religious inclination, and the two young people are happy and feel compatible with one another, other considerations [ethnicity, occupation, etc.] are not of such importance. Inshallah this helps others as it has helped me set some things straight. I still have many things to consider before I make any decisions but this kind of summarizes the guidelines that were discussed in this forum. Thanks again to everyone�s response. I really appreciate it. If any other ideas/thoughts/questions about this topic come to mind please do not hesitate to make a post (I know I won't!)...
I look forward to hearing it :) Salam. ..babysteps.. |
|
|
|
|
anam
Newbie
Joined: 07 October 2006 Status: Offline Points: 37 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 03 August 2007 at 8:01pm |
|
Asslam o alaikum
My opinion on this matter is that it depends on what one is doing.If one is using it as a martimonial service then it is ok but if it is used as a dating service then that is wrong. In case of dating i dont mean only going out together i also mean by this chating online.It means that everyone this way would be chating with many many people before deciding finally and one never knows who is telling the truth and who isnt.Some people can deceive others this way as well. I dont think it is wrong if someone talks directly to the person gets the required information maybe the mother can do this as well.If the education,and other things are what one wants then the both families could meet and couple could meet and talk as well.Just like any other martimonial service.When the other person would be willing to meet the family he definitely wont be one who is not wasting time or after a chat with a girl only.What is better than the consent of both families.You atleast this way know who you are talking. This is my opinion. hope to get more opinions. Allah hafiz |
|
|
|
|
Post Reply
|
Page 123> |
Tweet
|
| Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |
Topic Options
That would be the day!In my country alone,at least,the three main Ethnic have different views regarding marriage.In a particular tribe(Hausa),these people claim to be following the Sunnah & give out their very young female daughters in marriage,once she attains puberty irrespective of the age.The problem with them is,that is just one of their 'claims' of being a True Muslim because they deny their female children the right to be educated.Now where in the Qur'an did they read that?Before I go off topic,in my own Tribe,we seem to place a lot of value in Education & do not consider how old the girl,woman,young lady is,as long as she's still schooling,she's "too young" to be married.Some of these are fast changing these days.I'd also like to read about other people's culture too.And when we also start exploring the Medical implications of marrying late,we'd sure come up with reasons for OR against early arriage.Allah knows Best!