plz suggest me.

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   asalamu alaikum
i just read your post now. no one can tell u what to do. u need to decide for yourself. u are a doctor and u still very young. Insha allah u still have a long way to go. i cant undertsand why you would even want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with u. your husband doesnt seem serious about your marriage and he is not commited. he keeps changing his mind and hes unstable. if u allow yourself to be a part of his life, u run the risk of getting depressed as well. this man has serious issues which he needs to work through. he has problems in making sold decisions and sticking to them. waht kind of future will u have with him
he doesnt appreciate u or your worth. i dont think he loves u, cos if he did love u, then how can he be happy living apart from u. 
my advise is .....DIVORCE HIM. if u want to be happy again n u want to atart this new year on a happy note and u want to realise your dreams 4 the future, then let him go. by holding onto him, u denying yourself the chance to meet a wonderful guy who is worthy of your love and time. i know that divorce is painful and scary, but ask yourself this>>>" are u willing to put up with this behavious for ever. i dont think u should. start loving yourself and respectung yourself. u deserve so much better.

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rookaiya Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 04 May 2005 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 385	Post Options Post Reply Quote rookaiya Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 05 January 2007 at 3:33am
	asalamu alaikum i just read your post now. no one can tell u what to do. u need to decide for yourself. u are a doctor and u still very young. Insha allah u still have a long way to go. i cant undertsand why you would even want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with u. your husband doesnt seem serious about your marriage and he is not commited. he keeps changing his mind and hes unstable. if u allow yourself to be a part of his life, u run the risk of getting depressed as well. this man has serious issues which he needs to work through. he has problems in making sold decisions and sticking to them. waht kind of future will u have with him he doesnt appreciate u or your worth. i dont think he loves u, cos if he did love u, then how can he be happy living apart from u. my advise is .....DIVORCE HIM. if u want to be happy again n u want to atart this new year on a happy note and u want to realise your dreams 4 the future, then let him go. by holding onto him, u denying yourself the chance to meet a wonderful guy who is worthy of your love and time. i know that divorce is painful and scary, but ask yourself this>>>" are u willing to put up with this behavious for ever. i dont think u should. start loving yourself and respectung yourself. u deserve so much better.

ssiddiqui Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 07 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote ssiddiqui Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 05 January 2007 at 9:27am
	assalamualaykum I have read your post and I do think that you should consult with an imam or an alama and tell them what you have told us in this forum. Maybe you can even call one in Pakistan. I have also been through a divorce and my family is orginally from Pakistan so I can understand why you don't want to get a divorce it is a hard thing to do. But sometimes is necessary to obtain a peace of mind. It doesn't matter that you are thirty and you have said that you don't think someone will marry you again but I think you should leave that to Allah(SWT) because he is our hope and if we lose hope then we lose everything. Also do hagat prayer and pray to Allah(SWT) that he solves your problem in your marriage. I think that your husband is taking advantage of the fact that you are scared to get divorced and that why you guys are still married. I don't know of many women who are so paitient to wait for there husband for so long and he not show much affection towards them. Inshallah Allah(SWT) will reward you for your patience and grant you a high place in Jannah. I hope this helps. Allah-Hafiz

anam Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 07 October 2006 Status: Offline Points: 37	Post Options Post Reply Quote anam Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 05 January 2007 at 10:23am
	The reason i wrote my problem in an islamic community was that i thought someone would help me islamically.I myself am a religious person.There is nothing i have not done.All wazeefas there are i already have done in the last 1 year.I have prayed namaz e hajat a number of times.I have done ayet e kareema and a large number of other things.It daily takes almost more than an hr to do all the wazeefas i do as i have not stopped yet.I have never prayed for myself alone i have always prayed for his happiness with mine.I have never prayed that he would do what i want.I always pray that may Allah solve my and his problem in the best possible way whatever it is.I have done istakhara as well and have based my decisions on it.Now i dont know what to do?Who should i consult if there is someone anyone knows do tell me.

ssiddiqui Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 07 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote ssiddiqui Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 05 January 2007 at 3:48pm
	assalamualaykum If you want you can contact shariahboard.com. There are a group of muftis that live in the Chicago area and I believe they are mostly from India. They might be able to give you good guidance on what you need to do. There is also askimam.com they also give good advice they are muftis from south africa. There is also madania.org where there might be a phone number to talk to someone about these matters. It is run by the Sheik Ibrahem Memon. This website is based in Buffalo New York. They also have very good english islamic lectures. I hope this helps. Allah-Hafiz

anam Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 07 October 2006 Status: Offline Points: 37	Post Options Post Reply Quote anam Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 January 2007 at 11:23am
	Shariahboard have some problem for the time being and are not answering right now anything. askimam has not answered any qs since october. madanis org dont have any section for asking qs. Does anyone know anyother place where i can ask ?

taliyya Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 28 September 2006 Status: Offline Points: 71	Post Options Post Reply Quote taliyya Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 January 2007 at 1:41pm
	Assalamu Alaikum I'm sorry about all you've been through with this marriage. Truly I believe you should leave this man. The things he does are totally unislamic and for you to stay with him knowing what he does says something about you. You are a grown woman. Take charge of your life. Luckily there are no children involved so leaving him shouldn't be too hard. By the by, how is he even talking about getting a dowry. The dowry is supposed to be for the bride.

almostthere Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 11 December 2006 Status: Offline Points: 53	Post Options Post Reply Quote almostthere Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 January 2007 at 12:39am
	Try IslamonLine.net - "ask the scholar"

anam Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 07 October 2006 Status: Offline Points: 37	Post Options Post Reply Quote anam Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 July 2007 at 2:06pm
	Aoa I wrote my problem some time ago here.What happened after all this is that my husband never contacted me after his visa expired.Since our marriage i am the only one who calls so im so fed up of this one sided communication that i have not called him either.Though i did call one of his friends and told everything in detail and he talked to my husband.At first he did not believe in all what i said and said that he had known my husand in for the last 12 years and he could not believe that he could be such a person.I asked him what he had discussed with him.The friend said''he says that his wife does not want to leave her parents and does not want to go any other place than norway and is very uncooperative''I told him as well that my husband had told me not to talk to his friends.This friend talked to my husband but did not tell that i had called.He and one other friend talked to my husband about his problems with me and when i called next time after some days.The friend said that ''whatever you were saying was right and said that my husband no longer wanted to talk to his friends either on this topic so he wont be able to talk to him anymore.''This was in march 2007.IN march 2 of my uncles (chacha) went to my husband to talk to him about his future plans.After talking to my husband their opinion was that u should leave him.As they did not feel that he was normal person.My husband though said the same as he had said before that he wants that his wife should come and live in village and if she doesnot come then he will continue in lahore. After that i applied officially divorce according to the law here as it takes an year before all the paper work is done here in norway.Im planning to apply islamically as well in a few days.I still pray that there would be some miracle and everything would suddenly be fine.Does anyone have any other advice that what should i do.Should i call him once or go to him once before applying divorce islamically?