plz suggest me.

Sister,

right now you still have more choice than you will have when you have children. Think about WHY does he want you abroad? Does he want to get married again and live in P on your money?

And one more concerning thing: that he is discrediting you (the "I want her to but she is not coming back" - thing. Not good.

Can you live with not being respected? (This is what I have asked myself, too.). Can you live with being accused of not planning well, because of your family, your dowry?

Think about all of this. Be absolutely honest to yourself. Of course failure hurts. But be honest to yourself. Come up with an answer, and then tell him what you want. My experience is, if you are not willing to take abuse anymore (and this is what it is), if you are aware of your other alternatives, and willing to pursue them (and you are, you are strong, you can do anything you want inshallah) and give him a kind of ultimatum... this is the only way to really have a chance to CHANGE something at all in him.

Thanks alot for giving me advice.Im unable to find anywhere any message with your problem.But i already know a number of such women who have a foreign citizenship and it is the biggest curse for them.I have become really confused due to the istakhara i have done.As i have based almost entirely my decision on istakhara.I did not got to meet him all this time as i went with istakhara.
Now im really confused that it was my bad luck that i got married to someone who was so greedy.But what are the chances that any person would marry me without greed now.Who would marry a girl of age 30 earning alot living abroad and when it is her second marriage without any greed?
   I gave him myself ultimatum on august that i will take a divorce if he does not decide.he gave no importance to it.As a result my parents talked about divorce to his family and that was when his brother said to wait a month.Now when he said that he will not come in december.My father ringed again my husbands family and said that ''you must not think that we are pressurizing your family as we will not send our daughter and will apply a divorce''Still my husband did not come.My husband has a firm belief that a woman never takes a divorce and he said in the past as well to me that ''women try to fight and do everything but as soon as the husband names a divorce they start to beg him not to do this''
   We are 4 brothers and sisters and all of us have had some extreme problems in the last 2 to 3 years.It is like everything my parents have worked so hard has gone down the drain.We are a very close family discuss everything with each other and support each other alot.I dont know it is of any importance or not but i made my mom go to someone who can tell whether there is some magic on the family.My mother does not believe in any person very easily so she went to a person who does not take any payment or any sort of thing as payment.He in front of my mom brought a paper out of nowhere and told my mom that all the problems of her children are due to magic done on her.According to him if she read somthing for 21 days all the problems would solve one by one.She hasnt started yet but this too is something strange which has come up in the last few weeks.

If someone is not healthy (emotionally and mentally) there is NOTHING you can do.

Ability to be happy, positive and honest are traits that are either there by adulthood or not.

Nowhere does it say that we should just live with these traits in a spouse. Where does it say that??