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Dayem
 
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Quote Dayem Replybullet Topic: Why she won’t wear hijab?
    Posted: 15 June 2006 at 9:01am
"I'm so tired"
"Tired of what?"

"Of all these people judging me"
"Who judged you?"

"Like that woman, every time I sit with her she tells me to wear hijab"
"Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"

"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab, haha!"
"Maybe she was just giving you advice"

"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can't she mind her own business?"
"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."

"Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."
"But it's her duty to encourage you to do good"

"Trust me, that was no encouragement. And what do you mean 'good'?"
"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do"

"Says who?"
"It's in the Qur'an, isn't it?"

"Yes she did quote me something"
"She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Qur'an"

"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important"
"True, but big things start with small things"

"That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important is to have a good healthy heart"
"What you wear is not important?"

"That's what I said"
"Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"

"What do you mean?"
"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting"

"So?"
"So, your appearance IS important"

"No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion"
"If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Holy Qur'an?"

"You know I can't follow all that's in the Qur'an"
"You mean Allah tells you something to do, you disobey and then it's OK?"

"Yes, Allah is forgiving"
"Allah is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes"

"Says who?"
"Says the same book that tells you to cover"

"But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom"
"But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?! What's your definition of freedom anyway?"     
      

"Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do"
"No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do"

"Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people"
"So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point"

"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab"
"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying Allah"

"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"
"So all these people with hijab never get married?!"

"Okay! What is I get married and my husband doesn't like it and wants me to remove it?"
"What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!"

"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime"
"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"

"But then who would hire me?"
"A company that respects people for who they are"

"Not after 9/11"
"Yes, after 9/11. Don't you know about Hanan who just got into med school? And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab? Ummm..."

"Yasmeen?"
"Yes! Yasmeen. She just finished her MBA and is not interning for GE"

"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?
"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heels and lipstick colours?"

"You didn't answer my question"
"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying Allah in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action and true womanhood. But your short sleeves, tight trousers...??"

"That's called fashion, you live in a cave or something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women"
"Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab"

"Yes, that's what it is"
"What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"    
     

"Well, that's different"
"How? The woman who asked you to wear hijab she was a woman, right?"

"Right, but..."
"But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

"Wait, let me finish, I was saying..."
"Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?"

"Yes"
"Specifically how?"

"By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!"
"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear and how to be 'attractive'?"

"Of course, it's fashion"
"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"

Silence
"Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market"

"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products"

"I don't get it, what does hijab have to do with products?"
"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men. And then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks"

"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?
"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism"

"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward, outdated and totally not suitable for this society. Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"
"Fine. Say that to your Lord when you face Him on Judgement Day"

"Fine"
"Fine"

"Keep quiet and I don't want to hear more about hijab niqab blab!"
Silence

Silence    
     

She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time. Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head with her own opinions triumphant in victory over the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society, rejected by faith:

Yes to curls or blow dried hair, no to hijab.
"the mooslims! they're heeere!"
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foody
 
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Quote foody Replybullet Posted: 15 June 2006 at 3:03pm
I suppose it is her choice and freedom not to wear hijab.  It is not for a man to tell her anything, it is up to her and God. If I had a daughter and she doesn't want to wear hijab then I have no power on her really...let the women decide for their own..without men interferring on their lives, I am sure they will make the right decision.
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herjihad
 
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Quote herjihad Replybullet Posted: 15 June 2006 at 3:52pm

Originally posted by Dayem

"I'm so tired"
"Tired of what?"

"Of all these people judging me"
"Who judged you?"

"Like that woman, every time I sit with her she tells me to wear hijab"
"Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"

"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab, haha!"
"Maybe she was just giving you advice"

"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can't she mind her own business?"
"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."

"Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."
"But it's her duty to encourage you to do good"

"Trust me, that was no encouragement. And what do you mean 'good'?"
"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do"

"Says who?"
"It's in the Qur'an, isn't it?"

"Yes she did quote me something"
"She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Qur'an"

"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important"
"True, but big things start with small things"

"That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important is to have a good healthy heart"
"What you wear is not important?"

"That's what I said"
"Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"

"What do you mean?"
"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting"

"So?"
"So, your appearance IS important"

"No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion"
"If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Holy Qur'an?"

"You know I can't follow all that's in the Qur'an"
"You mean Allah tells you something to do, you disobey and then it's OK?"

"Yes, Allah is forgiving"
"Allah is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes"

"Says who?"
"Says the same book that tells you to cover"

"But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom"
"But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?! What's your definition of freedom anyway?"     
      

"Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do"
"No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do"

"Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people"
"So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point"

"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab"
"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying Allah"

"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"
"So all these people with hijab never get married?!"

"Okay! What is I get married and my husband doesn't like it and wants me to remove it?"
"What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!"

"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime"
"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"

"But then who would hire me?"
"A company that respects people for who they are"

"Not after 9/11"
"Yes, after 9/11. Don't you know about Hanan who just got into med school? And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab? Ummm..."

"Yasmeen?"
"Yes! Yasmeen. She just finished her MBA and is not interning for GE"

"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?
"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heels and lipstick colours?"

"You didn't answer my question"
"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying Allah in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action and true womanhood. But your short sleeves, tight trousers...??"

"That's called fashion, you live in a cave or something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women"
"Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab"

"Yes, that's what it is"
"What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"    
     

"Well, that's different"
"How? The woman who asked you to wear hijab she was a woman, right?"

"Right, but..."
"But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

"Wait, let me finish, I was saying..."
"Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?"

"Yes"
"Specifically how?"

"By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!"
"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear and how to be 'attractive'?"

"Of course, it's fashion"
"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"

Silence
"Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market"

"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products"

"I don't get it, what does hijab have to do with products?"
"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men. And then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks"

"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?
"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism"

"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward, outdated and totally not suitable for this society. Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"
"Fine. Say that to your Lord when you face Him on Judgement Day"

"Fine"
"Fine"

"Keep quiet and I don't want to hear more about hijab niqab blab!"
Silence

Silence    
     

She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time. Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head with her own opinions triumphant in victory over the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society, rejected by faith:

Yes to curls or blow dried hair, no to hijab.

Bismillah,

Do you go swimming in swimming trunks?  Do you wander around in jeans and a tshirt so that noone can tell you are a Muslim?  Brother, start by dressing as a Muslim man should, and this is according to my advice as a Muslimah who knows that Muslim men are to be the vangaurd in Islaam rather than its women.  There is a battle raging.  Stand up for your faith, and dress distinctively, all of you, and then ask your women to join you, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!

And what is wrong with lotion???  How silly!  Without lotion, some people will have dry, cracked skin.  What does that have to do with anything?

Peace

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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Jenni
 
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Quote Jenni Replybullet Posted: 15 June 2006 at 6:08pm
I agree with herjihad. And some women who wear hijab are much more into fashion and makeup than me. I see them with very fancy purses and makeup and high heels. Wearing a hijab does not mean a woman is simple and humble, it only means her hair is covered.
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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ak_m_f
 
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Quote ak_m_f Replybullet Posted: 15 June 2006 at 6:23pm
i agree wtf this has to do with lotion?
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salman_s
 
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Quote salman_s Replybullet Posted: 15 June 2006 at 10:39pm

Originally posted by foody

I suppose it is her choice and freedom not to wear hijab.  It is not for a man to tell her anything, it is up to her and God. If I had a daughter and she doesn't want to wear hijab then I have no power on her really...let the women decide for their own..without men interferring on their lives, I am sure they will make the right decision.

foody, i think what u r saying is wrong

do u know the companions of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had so strong iman that they used to divorce their wives if their wives did not practise any of the laws of islam sincerely



Edited by salman_s
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Cassandra
 
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Quote Cassandra Replybullet Posted: 16 June 2006 at 2:15am

I enjoyed reading Dayem's post above. One thing which concerned me running through the inner dialogue, however, was the extraordinary guilt engendered in this poor young girl who simply wants to look pretty.

Now, as you likely know, I am not Muslim and really know very little about this whole topic, but....this part really bothered me:

"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward, outdated and totally not suitable for this society. Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"
"Fine. Say that to your Lord when you face Him on Judgement Day"

I read recently in a popular book about the origins and development of Islam, by an Irani living in the U.S.,  that covering originally began with the Prophet's wives, who, having their home and the mosque in the same place, naturally wanted to protect their privacy.  It also said that other women, most likely wealthier women in the town, may have begun to imitate this as a "fashion".

Forgive me, I don't want to offend anyone here, and sincerely want to know:  Does God condemn those who live good lives but simply don't want to cover their hair? It seems to me that this young woman's constant inner battle is detrimental indeed for her mental health.  Doesn't God want us to be both physically and psychologicaly whole before we can offer Him anything of ourselves, freely. Isn't Islam about inner convictions, rather than outer conformity?

(Just a Happy Heretic's viewpoint)

 



Edited by Cassandra
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ak_m_f
 
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Quote ak_m_f Replybullet Posted: 16 June 2006 at 4:26am
Originally posted by salman_s

do u know the companions of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had so strong iman that they used to divorce their wives if their wives did not practise any of the laws of islam sincerely



I see, the Afghani opium is working its wonders on you Slaman.
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