Question for muslim brothers

foody wrote: You are not married to a Muslimah because you find it unfair that a man is the responsible care giver for his family, wife and children and that the wife if she makes money she is free to do with it as she wishes? Of course majority of the women are responsible intelligient human beings who think of their families as well, please don't go ahead and dish all Muslimah for that. What happened to the men who did not even think twice of objecting of this factor as they want to make sure that their wives are well economically satiated if the husbands die for whatever reason? Yes, sure in the USA it is different, but also in the USA there are a huge amount of war between the sexiests, I mean there are really no win win here..the only thing you should be thinking about is making sure that your wife and children are both economically, spiritually and emotionally complete from you and your wife.  I find your statement about not wanting to marry a muslim woman because of $$$ truelly offensive.  Just imagine the many sacrifices she will be making for you and your children, I would think this is the least thing she would deserve from this...but ones again I am sure majority of the women out there are intelligient human beings who know the value of money and family and will not think of them selfishly but there are also lots of women out there which are the reverse..it is your responsibility Israfil to seek the right woman for you and thus this whole issue you have would not even be discussed.

Bismillah,

On behalf of all of the intelligent women who know the value of money, I thank you, Brother!

Foody God's blessings be upon you.....

The issue here for me is not me taking care of a woman and my children, the issue here I have is economic sustainability. I choose not to struggle therefore, I seek a working woman who is also educated and understands that in America it takes two to work and work in unison with the family. I'm sorry but that is the real world. Teachers, Physicians and other friends of mine do it so I see no problem hee. Now, if I were at a financial point where I made enough to where my wife doesn't have to work fine. But I'm a cop, I make a little over $44k a year without overtime and with over time  I can make a lot more, but I wouldn't be home very much.

Even if I made $44k a year, in California that is still not enough. Some had told me to move but where? My job is here in Southern California and I need a woman to understand that. This is where the special and unique nature of a woman comes into play. Foody your comments are idealistic not realistic. I don't know if you live in California and on your own but if you did you'd understand what I'm talking about

Let me readdress that my comment was based on economic sustainability in the United States. It's also common sense that a man cannot support his family alone by generating an income of $20,000 a year, that is what we call "the working poor." I believe that in Islam it is a man's obligation to support his family, however it is an obligation on both members to plan their expenses. Just because it doesn't say a woman isn't suppose to ue her money in the Qur'an doesn't mean she she use her money on herself. Also, sister if I may clarify that if the man doesn't have a job isn't the only reason a woman may spend her money. Again apart of marriage in my opinion is the joint effort not one-sided. Alas this reaffirms why I am not married to a Muslimah now...

Salaam,

Foody I'd have to respectfully disagree with you. Just because a woman works doesn't mean that her money is 100% hers. That is unfair. That is like if a man works then most of his money is for his family yet if a woman works all of her money is for her. That is vain and if any woman believes that her income she generates is solely for her is a vain belief. I believe that income generated should be partial and personal, not solely personal. Again I'm speaking from an Americans perspective. In today's age its hard for a man to work and just support his family. I know plenty of Muslim women who work as well as their husbands so its no big deal.

I don't think we are discussing the realistic stanpoint.