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I've lost faith, help me restore please

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handsofallah View Drop Down
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    Posted: 26 October 2017 at 9:56pm
(This will be a long post, sorry I need to let me thoughts out)

Hello everyone, my name is Raza I was born into a Muslim family. My story is really long and I have been in deep depression for quite a while. I really need someone who is willing to listen and give me some guidance.

I am now 21 years old and since the start of college I've been hanging around with the wrong type of friends and I have realized that but I'm not sure how I can overcome situations where I am peer pressured into doing things. First of all, I am a smoker, drinker and I've done countless things such as use of drugs, even sex without marriage. I regret it, I do regret it all. Most recently, I was with my friends outside of my main province in another city and there we did things we shouldn't have, I don't want to get into deep explanations but like it included sex, drinking, smoking marijuana and other forbidden acts which are not allowed in Islam. I do realize all of this but every time I try to change myself for the better; I just can't, sometimes it feels like I was born to go to hell, it feels like that's just the place where I belong. When I came back from my trip I was talking to one of my friend about my experience and as soon as I mentioned sex, he told me I was going to hell and that really hit me hard and I just thought about it all night thinking that I messed up, I've lost the test in life, I've no where to go. I try to convince myself to pray five times and even Jummah but I end up missing all my prayers. I don't know whats wrong with me. I've turned to Allah so many times, and everyone says he will listen, but I don't get the help I need and that's when Satan gets in my head and brings up the thoughts that this is the only life you'll live and enjoy.

Recent days, I've been wanting to get engaged really badly so that I don't look at other women, I will know who I get engaged to and only talk to that woman. I've been finding it difficult to spread that message to my parents too because I can't tell them what I've become or my reasons of explanation. My parents are both very strictly religious and they do their best to keep me in the right path and in front of them I do right, but secretly they don't know who I am and I want to change myself because I don't want to be this person anymore. I think every night that what if I don't wake up tomorrow, all the sins I've committed or even if I do good now will it make up for all the bad things I've done.

Things I really want to change in myself are quitting smoking, drinking and other sinful acts, following Islam and its teachings.

Please brothers and sisters I am stuck and I feel like everything that happens to me as days pass, I'm just going to hell; it's where I belong.
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semar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote semar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 October 2017 at 10:32pm
Salam/Peace
Every one make mistake, even the Umar ibn Khattab had very dark live before convert to Islam. God almighty is the most merciful, so just return to Him, ask forgiveness sincerely and quit all bad habit, I know it's very hard but try as much as you can and ask Him to help. Most important thing try to do 5 daily prayers as much as you can. Insha Allah you will able to overcome this situation and back to guided one.
Salam/Peace,

Semar

"We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH)

"1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"
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handsofallah View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote handsofallah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 October 2017 at 10:45pm
Originally posted by semar semar wrote:

Salam/PeaceEvery one make mistake, even the Umar ibn Khattab had very dark live before convert to Islam. God almighty is the most merciful, so just return to Him, ask forgiveness sincerely and quit all bad habit, I know it's very hard but try as much as you can and ask Him to help. Most important thing try to do 5 daily prayers as much as you can. Insha Allah you will able to overcome this situation and back to guided one.


That is where I require some help, how do I do it without failing, because so far in my life I've repented so many times and gotten to the right path but unfortunately I keep ending up going toward the wrong path again and again. I feel like constantly repenting and then doing sins again is useless.
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semar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote semar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 October 2017 at 10:56pm
There is a hadith that mention like this (not exactly):
The companion asked : "if commit sin and ask fogiveness, will Allah forgive me"
The Prophet SAW replied: "Yes"
The companion asked again : "if commit sin the second time and ask fogiveness again, will Allah forgive me"
The Prophet SAW replied: "Yes"
The companion asked again : "if commit sin the 3rd time and ask fogiveness again, will Allah forgive me"
The Prophet SAW replied: "Yes"
The companion asked again : "Till when l Allah still forgive me"
The Prophet SAW replied: "Allah will frgive you until you give up to ask forgiveness from Allah"

The shaitan always whisper you to give up from asking forgiveness from Allah swt. So the windows of forgiveness is always open as long as your soul still on  your body.

The problem is we don't know when your soul will depart from your body, can be soon. So try your best. Also there is rule in Islam regarding doing good, if you can do all things, don't left the whole things. Let say you can not read Qur'an regularly, try to keep doing 5 daily prayer, fasting ramadan, doing charity etc. Wamayya'mal mitsqaala dzaratin khoira yarrah, wamay-yamal mitsqaala dzaratin syharay-yarah. Big or small, good or bad Allah will count it. And if it's bad Allah's forgiveness is always open.



Edited by semar - 27 October 2017 at 7:55pm
Salam/Peace,

Semar

"We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH)

"1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2017 at 8:25am
Raza welcome! I suggest you begin taking practical steps to change your situation, such as curtailing drug and alcohol usage, both of which are highly addictive. Are you in college? If so, leave off having a good time with friends and concentrate on your studies. Do not despair of Allah's Mercy because this is a trap from Satan to make us feel resigned to his fate - you are not.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote imaginary Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2017 at 11:29am
Selam brother,   You regret what you�ve done, so ask forgivness from Allah. Allah knows best for us. Beside try to pray 5 times because it makes you feel more close Allah. I born into Muslim family but they didn�t teach sth well. When I start to pray 5 times and learn love of Allah, I became better. So I suggest you to feel love of Allah because we don�t wanna disappoint him. Besides you should find good friends who can help you with that. Insallah you�ll find your way. Allah always with us
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NABA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 December 2017 at 12:08am
Read Quran with understanding,offer 5 time salaah,be busy means,if you are studying then study,do exercise for one hour daily plus whenever you try to do a sin just remember one thing-Allah is watching me,never think you are going to hell or heaven,it's the decision of Allah not yours,nor anybody,just ask for forgiveness,Allah will forgive you,may Allah forgive us also.Allah fiz
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zara424 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 January 2019 at 4:03am
Hi handsofallah,

It's not just you even the toughest of muslims sometimes make mistakes the good thing is you know your mistake and willing to correct it. it's not going to be easy task but Allah will make it easy for you In shaa Allah if only you keep on trying and not quit no matter what.
Why don't you start with something small listen and read Quran once every day not just the arabic but i understand what Allah is saying in that Surah In shaa Allah you'll start to feel peaceful and do watch islamic videos from channel called merciful servant. once you keep reminding yourself of Allah you'll be able to leave all negativities behind you.
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