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Groups Women (Sisters)
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Joined: 03 April 2005
Location: United Kingdom
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Quote mimi_3 Replybullet Topic: Marriage
    Posted: 04 April 2005 at 9:50am

Salaam how's it going? Hope you're all fine.

I'm hoping you guys can help me out a bit! I'm 18 and with all my heart I want to get married......but I don't know how to tell my parents and I'm scared that they won't accept! They might say that I'm too young and that I should finish my education. But inshaAllah I'll still complete my education even when I am married. Any suggestions???

Keep doing your duas....never give up.
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Quote fezziwig Replybullet Posted: 05 April 2005 at 9:11am
It's very difficult to complete your education when you are married. Especially for a female. Especially if babies come.


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Quote Angel Replybullet Posted: 05 April 2005 at 9:28am

Even if babies come along, you can still go and study, there is correspondance, online, part time study even module by module.

Sorry fezzi  but completing your education has come along with with many choices in how you study.  

Not sure how it is in the UK thou.

I think telling your parents you want to be married and ready to do so, should be ok, its only when you have the guy already that might be difficult/scary, but I don't now your parents  

~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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Quote blond Replybullet Posted: 05 April 2005 at 11:59am

Marriage is very rewarding, and very very tough. You may not want to hear this, but... I suggest maturing for a while and not making a permanant decision based off of desire. Desire makes for poor decision making capability and clouds judgement.

But then again, you may be very mature and ready to conquer the world.

Good fortune to you.

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Quote IslamicGirl Replybullet Posted: 06 April 2005 at 6:21am

Hi mimi_3 (Salams),

I was just like you at your age,  however I waited about 6 yrs after and got married.  Believe me, it's not all what it seems.  I thought I will get married 'n fall in love with a nice Muslim guy.  However, I suggest.. whoever you get married to:

  • Make sure the other person wants to marry you as much as u do to them
  • If you are a Muslim, I suggest no matter how hard it is to tell your parents, tell them & have Nikah done first.  Don't do anything stupid and elope (the last thing you want is to be disowned by your parents). Thank Allah, I never had to go through that considering my parents are strict.
  • you won't know the other person's expectations until you live with them..  so, you have to make it clear that things will not distract you from studies (ie. work, cooking, housework, personal life with partner etc...).

I was working almost 50 hours a week in a job, studying @ university part time and cooking and doing house-work.  It's not hard if are use to it... but can get a little tiring, especially if you are living with in-laws to start off with. 

I wish you all the best in your decision,  I personally can see why you think ur parents will react in a negative way (because of your age and their expectations for you to complete studies first); however, I can see where you are coming from too... if you are like me, you fear the Lord and don't want to live in any kind of sin right?

If you answered 'yes' to my last question, then if you think you are mature enough to make the decision of marriage, then you are mature enough to explain this to your parents.  You might be suprised, they may be greatful you show much respect towards our religion in that way, therefore, they'll realise that you respect them too.

All the Best with your decision, may Allah Almighty give you Guidance and Patience.

Allah Hafiz.

Edited by IslamicGirl
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