I feel I have more right adapting...

   As salaam Alaikum,

I am asking because I want to get some clarification. My understanding if a divorce should happen and I have children with said wife, the ex-wife have custody of the child until the child reaches age 7. At that point, the child can decide if he/she wants to live with his mother or stay with his father. But usually 90% to 95% of the time the child wants to stay with the mother and not the father and as a dad I don't want to force my child to stay with me if he/she wants to stay with the mom.


So the child will stay with the mother and the more the child stays with the mother, the more difficult the child would want to do anything with me and the more the child will hold characteristics of his/her mother and way of life.... which mean the more I will become like an uncle or a stranger visiting the house and visiting a child...at that point I also feel weird visiting the child....so the connection will be limited to phone calls and emails possibly and as time pass I will be like relative than an actual parent with parental connection. Naturally, my obligation will be financially providing the child until Islamically it degrees where I can stop and I will stop. So would it feel wrong to feel that I will have more connection, love, affection and even ownership toward an adapted child verses my own child? At least with the adapted child if a relationship breakup happens between me and the wife, I take him with me. He is not related to her, she holds no ownership to him, and therefore when I move he moves with me and I maintain a bound with him because he will live with me...but my own flesh and blood will be distance and we will become strangers as time pass by. Not that I will disconnect connection with him but there will be a distance in bonding with him than with the adopted which is fine...this is the way of life.

Am I the only one who feels like this?


Edited by xboxown - 27 February 2017 at 1:23pm