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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
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aliyafathma
 
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Joined: 26 December 2016
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Quote aliyafathma Replybullet Topic: Parents keep asking about marriage
    Posted: 26 December 2016 at 2:45am
My name is Aliya. I'm not married, but I need advice about family matter regarding one. I just turned 21 this year, and my parents won't stop asking me about the prospect of marriage.

I'm in my last year of university, currently enrolled in Computer Science major. See, I have this obsession to please my parents. For starter, I got accepted into the most popular major in one of top universities in my countries by invitation. My GPA is 3.5 out of 4.0, I'm involved in many student organizations and exchange programs,and I have lots of friends. Since I'm studying in Engineering program, my Mom was ecstatic as she thought that I would find myself any boyfriend/future husband right away. The thing is, I'm comfortable with all the guys in my university as if they're all my brothers that I never really see them in that way. My Mom, however, thinks it's not enough. I used to have boyfriends with our goal set to marriage (during my highschool and early university days), but I'm pretty sure they're bad influences to me so I broke up with them after a few months together before they could drag me down to any pit hole. After that, I stopped searching and focusing more on my student life. As you can guess, my Mom was kind of upset about it. Now, she's getting more agitated in finding her 2 daughters (my twin sister and I) not having anyone in the picture for marriage. I already explained that 21 isn't really the time to think about marriage yet, but she instead gave me some kind of deadline that before I turned 25, I would have to be already engaged.

Now I feel like marriage is just something required of me; that she doesn't care whether or not I'm alright with this Mr. X. What should I do or say to my parents, especially my Mom, to get them understand how things are from my point of view? Everytime I'm out for organization meetings, they always ask whether there's a nice guy there. Honestly, all these questions that lead to marriage tire me out. I feel like I keep disappointing them for not having any guy in the picture.

[NOTE : She believes that each person is already destinied with her other half, but she said I should make more effort. She's afraid I would end up like one of my cousins who isn't married yet even though she's already in her early 31. I don't think that's wrong though, so I don't understand what her problem is].

Edited by aliyafathma - 26 December 2016 at 2:48am
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