Sleepover With Boyfriend, Religious Parents Might

Hi everyone,

I am Indonesian but currently living in Australia. I've been seeing this non-Muslim guy for 2 months now. He's been sleeping over at my place but we never go too far. He's just sleeping at mine because his work is closer to my place.

At first I just wanna hide all these from my parents because I know they'll disown me if they find out. They are very old-school and religious. I wouldn't say they're strict, but when it comes to guys, they are.

So they dont know yet about me and my boyfriend. But I am planning on telling them soon when I go back to Indonesia. Then I have these thoughts: what if they ask if my bf ever comes over to mine? My boyfriend told me to just tell the truth if my parents ever ask. But I know they won't trust me anymore and maybe they won't let me go back to Australia. Also, I really can't deal with my parents (esp my mom) being angry with me. I have a very weak mentality for that.

I honestly don't wanna lie to them but I am also scared of telling them the truth. (you have no idea). If anyone has an advice, any advice, I would very much appreciate it!

Thank you!!

Abu Mas'ud 'Uqbah bin 'Amr al-Ansari al-Badri, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:

"Among the things that people have found from the words of the previous prophets was: 'If you feel no shame, then do as you wish.'"
[Al-Bukhari]

Ibn Qayyim has shed some more light on this interpretation by saying that when a person commits sins, his feeling of shame is lessened. As he commits more and more sins, his shame is weakened more and more, to the point that it may not exist at all. When he gets to that point, he does not care what people might say or think about him. In fact, he might even start to tell others about the sins that he has committed. This type of person will not be forgiven and the road to repentance will be blocked for him. The Prophet [sall-All�hu �alayhi wa sallam] has said:

�All of my Nation are apt to be forgiven except for those who commit sins openly. Included among those who commit sins openly is where a person performs a deed during the night and, although All�h had concealed that sin, in the morning he says: �0 so and so, last night I did such and such.� He spent the night being concealed by All�h and in the morning he uncovered All�h�s concealment from himself.� [Al-Bukh�r�]

Am I missing something.
People usually come here with their questions because they want to do things islamically right.

You don't seem to have that urge or motivation. Then why do you even bother to ask your question on an islamic forum?

"There is no truth to this fashion of non-Mahrams being just good friends. Getting into such atainted �friendship��will only cause problems on multiple levels. A person may be able to control their thoughts and desires, but after repeatedly meeting a non-Mahram in an unstructured setting to spend time as friends, the battle against the self becomes increasingly difficult.�

However, mixing with non-Mahrams and going out of our way to spend time with them obviously defies those ideals of Hijab. It�s as simple as this: brothers and sisters who are not Mahram to each other are not supposed to interact when there is no point in doing so, and any interaction that does take place is supposed to be done in a professional manner. Conclusively, the idea of non-Mahram guys and girls spending time together as �friends� is not endorsed by Islam.

Also, we need to realize that being Muslim doesn�t make us immune to falling into sin. Just because a sister wears a headscarf and a brother sports a beard does not mean it is okay for them to become friends. As Muslims, we are instructed to follow guidelines for our own benefit, and in this situation too there is wisdom. Just as we are to abstain from sitting at a table that has alcohol bottles on it and just as we are to abstain from listening to music, we are to abstain from developing non-Mahram friendships because of the greater sins that we could be led to commit.

Of course, living in the West, there are times when non-Mahrams do interact � but there is a difference between how we do so with our colleagues and with our friends. We interact on a regular basis with our colleagues regarding the work that has brought us together on a professional level."

If you want to get to know them, it should be done without being alone with the person and it shouldn't go beyond permissible topics.

Please copy and paste this to whatsapp, Facebook and Twitter etc.