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Message Icon Topic: I have initaited a divorce...Am I a bad person? Post Reply Post New Topic
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Joined: 11 August 2014
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Quote 1234muslima Replybullet Topic: I have initaited a divorce...Am I a bad person?
    Posted: 11 August 2014 at 3:14am
I have moved out of the family home 3 months ago. I could put up with it any mopre being belittle and no respect. (can't go into details right now). I have files for a Khula and divorce in court, after tried to improve the situation for over 4 yaers. Though I dont regret it at all. I feel like a bad person for not being able to make my marriage work. I have 2 kids. I feel people with judge me for the rest of my life. I feel I am mourning the loss of a dream to have a happy marriage. I am aklso feeling scared at the tjought of being alone for the rest iof my Life. I have my kids and my parents nsupport. But one days, they may not be here. and I will be alone.
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Abu Loren
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Quote Abu Loren Replybullet Posted: 13 August 2014 at 5:15am
Stop being silly!

Divorce is a Mercy from Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala for people exactly like you. Nobody should suffer n silence and in Islam women CAN initiate the divorce proceedings.

Narrated Ibn `Abbas:
The wife of Thabit bin Qais bin Shammas came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! I do not blame Thabit for any defects in his character or his religion, but I am afraid that I (being a Muslim) may become unthankful for Allah's Blessings." On that, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said (to her), 'Will you return his garden to him?" She said, "Yes." So she returned his garden to him and the Prophet (ﷺ) told him to divorce her.

Reference     Reference      : Sahih al-Bukhari 5276
     In-book reference      : Book 68, Hadith 25
La Ilaha IllAllah
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Joined: 07 August 2014
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Quote Kaleemah Replybullet Posted: 14 August 2014 at 6:28pm
Salaam alaikum sister.

No you are not a bad person. Like Abu Loren said Divorce is a Mercy from Allah SWT!

I can relate. I have been struggling in a rocky marriage since my daughter was born. I am making dua and praying to Allah SWT for guidance in what to do next. One minute it's divorce, next it's we're staying together.  This is not what I want for our children. He has been violent towards me in the past. Alhumdulillah there has not been violence for a few months.

You can contact me if you feel like you need to talk to someone.

Salaam sister. Remember Allah does not burden with us with what we can't handle. And we are tested again and again. Make dua and remember Allah is always ready to grant you mercy and compassion.  Sometimes it seems it will never happen, but Allah SWT always knows best.
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