Choosing a life partner

Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic

   Salaam,

I'm in love with a girl and she loves me back. We both want to marry eachother, but i stand in a confused state. The girl is very nice & loving she trys to be islamic too, but the only thing that bothers me about her, is her past. she has been with 2 guys previously when she was a teenager, she use to hug her colleages(guys) at work while saying gudbye and much more. She admits that she has done alot of mistakes in life because she was young. She says that shes a different person now, she doesn't hangout with guys anymore she don't hug them when saying gudbye she wont even shakehands with a guy which is all true i know that verywell. But as being a guy a girls past really matters to me and I really get depressed when she tells me anything from her past. I want to know should i let go of her past and accept her for what she is today? Should i try to dig more into her past? Or should i just leave her bcuz of her past mistakes?

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
TruthSeeker321 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 01 May 2013 Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote TruthSeeker321 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Choosing a life partner Posted: 01 May 2013 at 8:43pm
	Salaam, I'm in love with a girl and she loves me back. We both want to marry eachother, but i stand in a confused state. The girl is very nice & loving she trys to be islamic too, but the only thing that bothers me about her, is her past. she has been with 2 guys previously when she was a teenager, she use to hug her colleages(guys) at work while saying gudbye and much more. She admits that she has done alot of mistakes in life because she was young. She says that shes a different person now, she doesn't hangout with guys anymore she don't hug them when saying gudbye she wont even shakehands with a guy which is all true i know that verywell. But as being a guy a girls past really matters to me and I really get depressed when she tells me anything from her past. I want to know should i let go of her past and accept her for what she is today? Should i try to dig more into her past? Or should i just leave her bcuz of her past mistakes?

abuayisha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105	Post Options Post Reply Quote abuayisha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 May 2013 at 7:10am
	If Allah, Most High, has blessed an individual with covering any sin or transgression, and that person has sought forgiveness for their wrong, than it is blameworthy for the person to expose these sins to others. Likewise, you should not pry into a persons past looking for bad things they have done. Who among us haven't done things we are ashamed about? Take this advise for the next girl you desire to marry, because, and only you can answer this question, it doesn't appear that you will be able to forget or forgive her past. The issue of trust will surface as soon as the infatuation for her wears off.

TruthSeeker321 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 01 May 2013 Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote TruthSeeker321 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 May 2013 at 10:13am
	She has never exposed her sins to me or others in anyway, infact she has told me plenty of times that "i do not want to bring or talk anything related to my past, bcuz I do not like the persdon i use to be" nor that i have ever tried to dig more into it, because i know the kind of person I am if i pry into her past it will put me in a depression. Now the few things i know about her past is from her aswell they were meant to be told. I love her for what she is today, we get along really well, we have things in common and most importnly we understand eachother she's very much like the person i wud want to make my wife, this is not just an infatuation, if it was I wouldn't be talking about her at all i wudve closed my eyes & decided that i wanna marry her. So please help out on this, do i let go of her past & consider her or do I leave her to find someone else.

abuayisha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105	Post Options Post Reply Quote abuayisha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 May 2013 at 8:53pm
	Your question; "...do i let go of her past & consider her or do I leave her to find someone else" indicates to me that you are unable to overcome the knowledge that she; "has been with 2 guys previously.."

smaziz Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 10 November 2013 Status: Offline Points: 8	Post Options Post Reply Quote smaziz Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10 November 2013 at 2:10pm
	Share your thought with your fiance before taking any decision. It's very important to discuss such issues before marriage as it might create lots of hassle between both of you in future. Edited by smaziz - 10 November 2013 at 2:12pm

herber345 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 29 November 2013 Status: Offline Points: 44	Post Options Post Reply Quote herber345 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 06 December 2013 at 11:04pm
	I agree with Smaziz, and also want to know, do you still love her now after knowing everything about her or not? If yes, than it doesn't matter what was she in her past. You are going to live your present and making your future. Also you shouldn't disclose these thing to your mutual known, or other known person. If she is changed for you, and accept her mistake and want to live her life with you as your wife and you also love, this type of past doesn't matter. For better you should talk to her and say whatever you feel about her and what questions are coming in your mind. Edited by herber345 - 06 December 2013 at 11:08pm