non-muslim going to muslim wedding, advice please! |
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mother-in-law
Starter. Female Joined: 17 April 2013 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 6 |
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Posted: 17 April 2013 at 8:21pm |
Hello All, I hope I'm in the right place, and thank you in advance for possibly giving your advice and words of wisdom:
...Not only am I going to a Muslim wedding, I am the new mother-in-law! My son recently converted to Islam (I am not Muslim) and is marrying a Muslim girl. Her family is not very "strict", and she (being young and not always dressing modestly?) is telling me I don't need to cover my head when I go to the mosque ceremony. Is she just being nice and trying to make me feel more comfortable? I don't mind covering my head if that would be the respectable thing to do, but I don't want to go overboard and look Muslim like I'm trying too hard to fit in if it would be ridiculous for a non-muslim to cover her head... I just got a great dress... floor length with a matching sweater/jacket, so the outfit is fine, I just don't know if I should cover my head or not. I want to be respectable to even "the grandmas", not have people think, "oh well, she's not muslim, she doesn't know any better". Also, what should I expect to happen at this ceremony? My son just tells me I don't have to do anything, just be there, and I'm imagining just standing politely somewhere doing nothing while everyone is praying, etc.... as the mother of the groom but not Muslim, what should I do?? How can I make myself fit in politely and feel like part of it but not overstep anything? They just keep telling me "don't worry, don't worry", but I'm beginning to feel like I'm just showing up at a stranger's wedding when this is MY SON and I want to feel a part of it. As you can see I'm nervous, and perhaps worrying too much... help, anyone? |
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semar
Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1830 |
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Salaam/Peace,
Wearing long dress and jacket is enough. You don't have to wear head scarf. That's perfectly fine, most probably you will find some muslim ladies there that not wear scarf too. Regarding prayer: Muslim wedding ceremony is very simple, the core ceremony less then 10 minutes, who invlove in the ceremony are bride, groom, parent/father of the bride, the imam and two "official" witnesses (usualy relative or friend of the bride or groom, who know well the couple). Very much there is no audience's involvement, audience just act as "informal witnesses", so there is no prayer from the audiences at all. So like your son said that you just need to be there, that's all. The only thing for you perhaps just family photo (it's not part of the ceremony). So no worry, just enjoy some 'muslim' dishes. Edited by semar - 19 April 2013 at 12:01am |
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Salam/Peace,
Semar "We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH) "1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air" |
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Imaan
Newbie Joined: 17 April 2013 Status: Offline Points: 22 |
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As-Salaamo 'Alaaykum,
Sister!! Don't worry about anything. You don't need to cover your head but if you are not feeling comfort then go for scarf(then you become satisfied)and wear that what you want. You need little confidence about this ceremony. Feel happy because it's you son's wedding. |
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abuayisha
Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105 |
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Yeah, I agree with Semar; just enjoy! You sound like such a wonderful person so just be yourself. Congratulations and all the best.
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mrs shadab
Groupie Joined: 16 July 2011 Status: Offline Points: 57 |
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congrats..
i also do agree with both of them ,,and it's true that u really sound like such a very KIND and wise woman ,who has not only given a permission her son to marry a muslim girl but also is there for her son 's happiness.. hat's off to you .. Edited by mrs shadab - 23 April 2013 at 1:42am |
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nothing
Senior Member Joined: 09 November 2008 Location: Andorra Status: Offline Points: 416 |
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Don't waste the opportunity that the food is free in this occasion, so bring all your family you can march with big handbags.
Alright just be happy in the wedding, that is the rule, and no grumpy looking. Congrats for this happy occasion. |
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mother-in-law
Starter. Female Joined: 17 April 2013 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 6 |
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Thank you all SO much for your support and advice, especially semar for describing the ceremony. I feel a lot better and now I'm getting more excited about the wedding; it's in only a few weeks! You are all so nice and warm and encouraging; if I need other advice I will definitely feel comfortable coming back here!
Peace and love to you all! |
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janmarie0120
Starter. Female Joined: 20 August 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 1 |
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Good morning,
I read your post posted back in April of 2013. My current situation is exactly like yours! My son (recently became Muslim) is marrying a Muslim girl this Friday. I have the same questions you had disclosed in your post. I wonder if you are able to enlighten me with any advice or information as I assume you have now gone through this same experience. Kind regards, Jan |
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