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non-muslim going to muslim wedding, advice please!

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mother-in-law View Drop Down
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    Posted: 17 April 2013 at 8:21pm
Hello All, I hope I'm in the right place, and thank you in advance for possibly giving your advice and words of wisdom:

...Not only am I going to a Muslim wedding, I am the new mother-in-law! My son recently converted to Islam (I am not Muslim) and is marrying a Muslim girl. Her family is not very "strict", and she (being young and not always dressing modestly?) is telling me I don't need to cover my head when I go to the mosque ceremony. Is she just being nice and trying to make me feel more comfortable? I don't mind covering my head if that would be the respectable thing to do, but I don't want to go overboard and look Muslim like I'm trying too hard to fit in if it would be ridiculous for a non-muslim to cover her head...

I just got a great dress... floor length with a matching sweater/jacket, so the outfit is fine, I just don't know if I should cover my head or not. I want to be respectable to even "the grandmas", not have people think, "oh well, she's not muslim, she doesn't know any better".

Also, what should I expect to happen at this ceremony? My son just tells me I don't have to do anything, just be there, and I'm imagining just standing politely somewhere doing nothing while everyone is praying, etc.... as the mother of the groom but not Muslim, what should I do?? How can I make myself fit in politely and feel like part of it but not overstep anything? They just keep telling me "don't worry, don't worry", but I'm beginning to feel like I'm just showing up at a stranger's wedding when this is MY SON and I want to feel a part of it. As you can see I'm nervous, and perhaps worrying too much... help, anyone?
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semar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote semar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 April 2013 at 11:43pm
Salaam/Peace,
 
Wearing long dress and jacket is enough. You don't have to wear head scarf. That's perfectly fine,  most probably you will find some muslim ladies there that not wear scarf too. Regarding prayer: Muslim wedding ceremony is very simple, the core ceremony less then 10 minutes, who invlove in the ceremony are bride, groom, parent/father of the bride,  the imam and two "official" witnesses (usualy relative or friend of the bride or groom, who know well the couple). Very much there is no audience's involvement, audience just act as "informal witnesses", so there is no prayer from the audiences at all. So like your son said that you just need to be there, that's all. The only thing for you perhaps just family photo (it's not part of the ceremony). So no worry, just enjoy some 'muslim' dishes.


Edited by semar - 19 April 2013 at 12:01am
Salam/Peace,
Semar
The Prophet said: "Do not eat before you are hungry, and stop eating before you are full"
"1/3 of your stomach for food 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Imaan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 April 2013 at 12:51am
As-Salaamo 'Alaaykum,
Sister!! Don't worry about anything. You don't need to cover your head but if you are not feeling comfort then go for scarf(then you become satisfied)and wear that what you want. You need little confidence about this ceremony. Feel happy because it's you son's wedding.
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 April 2013 at 7:07am
Yeah, I agree with Semar; just enjoy! You sound like such a wonderful person so just be yourself.  Congratulations and all the best.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mrs shadab Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 April 2013 at 6:19am
congrats..
 i also do agree  with both of them ,,and it's true that u really sound like  such a very KIND and wise woman ,who has not only given a permission  her son to marry a muslim girl but also is there for her son 's happiness.. hat's off to you ..


Edited by mrs shadab - 23 April 2013 at 1:42am
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nothing View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nothing Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 April 2013 at 6:16pm
Don't waste the opportunity that the food is free in this occasion, so bring all your family you can march with big handbags.LOL

Alright just be happy in the wedding, that is the rule, and no grumpy looking.Big%20smile

Congrats for this happy occasion.



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mother-in-law View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mother-in-law Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2013 at 9:11am
Thank you all SO much for your support and advice, especially semar for describing the ceremony. I feel a lot better and now I'm getting more excited about the wedding; it's in only a few weeks! You are all so nice and warm and encouraging; if I need other advice I will definitely feel comfortable coming back here!
Peace and love to you all!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote janmarie0120 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2013 at 9:06am
Good morning,

I read your post posted back in April of 2013.

My current situation is exactly like yours! My son (recently became Muslim) is marrying a Muslim girl this Friday.

I have the same questions you had disclosed in your post. I wonder if you are able to enlighten me with any advice or information as I assume you have now gone through this same experience.

Kind regards,
Jan
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