Active TopicsActive Topics  Display List of Forum MembersMemberlist  CalendarCalendar  Search The ForumSearch  HelpHelp
  RegisterRegister  LoginLogin  Old ForumOld Forum  Twitter  Facebook

Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: Family not accepting Post Reply Post New Topic
Author Message
Female Islam

Joined: 28 March 2013
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2
Quote Ashleyy Replybullet Topic: Family not accepting
    Posted: 28 March 2013 at 7:26pm
I have been dating my boyfriend who is Muslim for 2 1/2 years. It has been a secret and since we started dating I have been converting to be a Muslim. We are panning on moving in with each other but he is facing many internal problems and I need help. He is afraid to tell his parents because he says they will not accept it and he will be disowned by his mother. He is scared of getting shunned and losing her prayers and being punished from paradise. Is there any way he can be saved even if he is disowned?Is there any way to convince his parents of acceptance? 
IP IP Logged
Senior Member
Senior  Member

Joined: 05 October 1999
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4872
Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 29 March 2013 at 9:33am
Your "boyfriend" has been enjoying you at the expense of his family, religion and culture.  It is little wonder it has been kept secret. Don't waste your time with him. 
IP IP Logged
Al Jin

Joined: 27 August 2013
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5
Quote Al Jin Replybullet Posted: 30 August 2013 at 12:53am
If your boyfriend was a true muslim, he would not even consider having you just "move in" with him. He would honor you they way we are instructed in the Quran, and not disrespect you as one might disrespect a common prostitute. Until either of you is willing to live as man and wife, legally married, then neither of you can consider yourselves to be true, faithful muslims in the eyes of Allah. Live your faiths. No wonder his parents are upset. They do not want their son to leave the shade of the Quran for a woman who's willing to simply shack up with him. That is not what Muslim women, do!

Edited by Al Jin - 30 August 2013 at 12:55am
If you walk to Allah, he will run to you.
IP IP Logged

Joined: 29 November 2013
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 44
Quote herber345 Replybullet Posted: 04 December 2013 at 11:51pm
You both are of same religion and he should ask to his parent and be honest and show to your parent that you both love each other and want to marry.
You should also talk to your mother and convince your parent to ask his parent about marry. I know it is not easy, but if you didn't try you can't do any thing.
IP IP Logged
Senior Member
Senior  Member

Joined: 20 March 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2487
Quote honeto Replybullet Posted: 07 January 2014 at 3:33pm
Ashleyy, there seems to be a complicated situation here. And like we say in Islam, everything starts with self. So, first confirm and be firm that you are a Muslim. It means following the Islamic code of conduct in every aspect of life. Ask yourself if you know what this code of conduct is? If you do not know go to your local mosque and ask the imam, and 2-to follow it, even if it means some difficulty or some apparent loss.
After you have gain control of things for you, then encourage him to do the same and then anyone else who might be involved, like his mother.
The way you described things seem to give the sense that all three parties involved here (you, him, his mother) in some way are not following sincerely what Islam teaches. So like I said, start with yourself first, and may Allah help you and help us all, Ameen.
39:64 Proclaim: Is it some one other than God that you order me to worship, O you ignorant ones?"
IP IP Logged
Post Reply Post New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

The opinions expressed herein contain positions and viewpoints that are not necessarily those of IslamiCity. This forum is offered to stimulate dialogue and discussion in our continuing mission of being an educational organization.
If there is any issue with any of the postings please email to icforum at or if you are a forum's member you can use the report button.

Note: The 99 names of Allah avatars are courtesy of

Sponsored by:
IslamiCity Donation Program
Complete Domain & Hosting Solutions
Home for Muslim Tunes
Islamic Video Collections
IslamiCity Marriage Site