Your thoughts matter

Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic

   I think one possible reason that she may be pressing for a quick marriage is because she does not trust your commitment. She needs some sort of commitment from you, how can she be sure that you will marry her? She probably told her parents, and they said - if he is serious, he will offer some sort of commitment. A commitment my friend, is a nikah. You don't have to start living together, have a nikah - and then continue with your masters. This will give her the commitment she needs. 

Its not about being bossy, or ''funny''', its basically making sure that the guy is not just stringing you along with false promises. I think she is doing the right thing, if you can't marry her, she should end the relationship - because there is no point.

You should involve your parents and have the parents talk, and have an engagement. I bet she will stop pressuring you for a nikah then.

Abu Loren's advise I feel was rather immature. [To be hoest, she doesn't come across as a true Muslimah as she is 
pushing you and trying to control you. A true Muslimah will respect the 
man and listen to him rather than trying to order him around. She will 
know her place, even if it sounds sexist.] Really? Ok! 

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
Chrysalis Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033	Post Options Post Reply Quote Chrysalis Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 12 February 2013 at 3:59am
	I think one possible reason that she may be pressing for a quick marriage is because she does not trust your commitment. She needs some sort of commitment from you, how can she be sure that you will marry her? She probably told her parents, and they said - if he is serious, he will offer some sort of commitment. A commitment my friend, is a nikah. You don't have to start living together, have a nikah - and then continue with your masters. This will give her the commitment she needs. Its not about being bossy, or ''funny''', its basically making sure that the guy is not just stringing you along with false promises. I think she is doing the right thing, if you can't marry her, she should end the relationship - because there is no point. You should involve your parents and have the parents talk, and have an engagement. I bet she will stop pressuring you for a nikah then. Abu Loren's advise I feel was rather immature. [To be hoest, she doesn't come across as a true Muslimah as she is pushing you and trying to control you. A true Muslimah will respect the man and listen to him rather than trying to order him around. She will know her place, even if it sounds sexist.] Really? Ok!
	"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."

zMisbahz Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 18 January 2013 Status: Offline Points: 10	Post Options Post Reply Quote zMisbahz Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 12 February 2013 at 8:56am
	Salam, Hi Chrysalis. Abu Loren has his/her opinion and I must respect it (we must too). Now I get the feeling from your comment that you think I may not be giving her the commitment, if this is what you are getting at I must say you are wrong. I doubt you read my initial post clearly , if not kindly do so again, did you know she tried getting me to do a Nikah without the consent of her Father "Is that right Islamically", what woman does that. Are you a Male or Female, if you are the latter may I ask, would you push a Man to marry without the consent of your Mahram (Guardian). this is not a case of not giving her a commitment as I did give her my words, spoke to my parents about it as well as reassured her that if she is worried about any relationship issues before marriage we don't even have to meet that way she can protect herself , (tell me, am not trying to be proud or big headed), how many men do you know that know certainly a woman is head over heels for them and not take advantage of it in this day and age we live in. Now most times people forget to think about the Man in this instances but worry about the woman instead. I told her the truth and laid down my ideas from day one, bottom line is if she didn't like it why didn't she leave, I have and never will force my ideas on a female. She wouldn't leave and she wouldn't let me leave if I chose to walk away from it. Thanks for taking the time out to respond, I truly appreciate it.

NABA Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Joined: 13 December 2012 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 867	Post Options Post Reply Quote NABA Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 30 April 2013 at 8:31am
	walecum As Salaam,if I would have been in your position I truly say to her that let me complete my studies first and then marry,yes love is right at its place but practically it is odd,because even after completing ur studies U have to look for a good job and then marriage comes after that.that's my opinion.Allahfiz