Private personal issue

AOA Sister. I think this is not an issue of religion. Basically you are effected with spanking paraphilia. There are many kinds of paraphillias. You can search in google too. Causes of paraphilias are not been decided yet. I am also often indludge in spanking since my childhood too. You can contact me for more detail at:

[email protected]

As-Salaam Alaikum,

I am sorry sister Aaliyah but you need psychological help . There are many mental health therapist within the Muslim community. It is sad to see too many women going along with this crap. I am sorry to say if we a Muslim Ummah keep co-signing this bull we are going to see many Janazahs due to domestic violence.

Hakeema

Edited by hakeema - 26 January 2016 at 9:12am

Salaam alaikum sister,

First I want to say, I too am a Muslim wife. I adore my husband and I know he adores me. We both have a strong love for Allah(SWT) and Islam and we always put this first.

You are not weird, or strange, there is nothing innately wrong with you and MANY women share these feelings. I not only understand your feelings I share them. Also I am not in agreement with other opinions posted here, but that's OK because after all that is why this forum exists. I am sure I won't get the popular vote of the day but here it is:

There are things as human that come like nature to us. As long as I can remember this has been a part of my brain/thoughts. I was never spanked as a child so I don't believe it's a desire to live out my childhood in some psychological way. I (like most adults) do not try to behave in a childlike way or am not ALWAYS aware when I actually am behaving badly, whether it be childish or bad attitude or when my behaviors are disrespectful or detrimental to myself or others. My husband alhamdulilah understands me, sometimes even better than I understand myself, and I believe Allah(SWT) gave men the quality to be the qawamun of women. This is not permission to abuse her but the right to protect her, even if he needs to protect her from herself. All that being said, it is true there is another side to this dilemma.

There are two kinds of spankings. Discipline (for all the reasons mentioned above) and erotic. There is no haram in either practice if this is understood and agreed upon between both spouses. It is natural for a woman to be aroused when pressure is applied to on or around her bottom in a firm (not necessarily painful) swat. It can make a warm tingling feeling that medically affects the arousal parts of a woman. If a couple enjoys this playful type of spanking there is no harm and if it leads to a pleasurable time together that's even better.

A discipline spanking most probably will have a completely different affect as it should, being a bit painful, not to leave marks or bruises, and it should make you aware that you are being punished by someone you trust and who loves you and you wouldn't be in this position if you did not deserve it. In these cases it can actually make your relationship stronger. You trust this man to make you aware and erase your guilty feelings without anger (or at least with controlled anger, if he is too angry he should wait until the proper time) or screaming or even worse not speaking at all and building walls. Spanking is not the answer to monumental marital problems it is for a trusting and loving marriage.

I believe Allah (SWT),through the Prophet Mohammed(PBUH) gave us this message from the An-Nisa' 4:34 and in the Prophets(PBUH) last message. The word spanking was not part of the vocabulary in his time or he most surely would have used it.

I am not a scholar and this is just my own feelings and opinions, with no intentions to offend anyone. The numbers of divorce in these days are staggering and prisons and jails are overflowing. The key to any good relationship is communication. I know it may not be easy for you but maybe you should speak to your husband about your feelings. Inshalla I hope I have been able to put this in a good perspective for you and that you won't be so hard on yourself for the way you feel.

Salaam,
From a sister,a normal woman.       

Edited by sarsorita - 24 February 2013 at 7:43pm

Maya1234 wrote: Asalum alaikum, But I have two problems with that: I Yes, I like it very much, it fulfills me, and I want a bit more and more serious, but also I think, that I might me weird ("Hello, which normal woman wants to be spanked...") and I am also not sure, if it is maybe against Islam. (I have to say, that I mean not physical hurting or so, nothing like that). Thanks for your anser.

As-Salaam Alaikum,

This quote further lets me know that you know the answer to your own question. Key phrases: "But I have two problems with that." "But also I think, that I might be weird ("Hello, which normal woman wants to be spanked...").

See you didn't need us to tell you that you got a problem. I suspect you intuitively know that this is unhealthy behavior but you keep making excuses and rationalizing your behavior. Just like a crack addict knows cocaine is bad. They keep making excuses to do it because it make them feel good or it is their coping mechanism. So please get some help maam. I will keep you in my prayers.

Hakeema



Edited by hakeema - 24 October 2012 at 5:38pm