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Family Matter
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Quote Snm7 Replybullet Topic: Istikhara
    Posted: 20 August 2012 at 6:58pm
I did istikhara for one guy and I believe it led me to another guy who is now my boyfriend. Is it possible that Allah would guide me to my boyfriend since my boyfriend and I are together but not yet married which is haram? I truly believe Allah helped me get over my ex which was probably the most difficult time in my life, and that Allah gave me something better which is my boyfriend. My boyfriend is religious and a genuinely good person. I feel at peace with him and feel like he is a gift from Allah, to help me get over my ex. Within a week of doing istikhara, I began talking to my boyfriend over the phone and we both fell in love and promised to marry each other. It seemed like that was my sign from God and I had a good feeling about it. I am concerned with if my boyfriend was given to me to help me get over my ex but not given to me to marry. I am not sure what Allah would do in this type of situation. Wouldn't He just help me get over my ex without giving me another guy to help me get over my ex? This leads me to believe that I am destined to marry my boyfriend. We have both told our moms that we want to get married and they said they are fine with it but neither of them have talked about it for about a year now since my boyfriend and I are waiting to finish   school before we get married. I tried doing istikhara again but received no sign and did not feel any different, but I am still with my boyfriend. He is perfect for me and I feel like he is my soulmate. One night in particular I was laying in bed and feeling unusually close to God and all I could think about was my boyfriend and how we should both be good people so that we can get into Heaven. That night was really a spiritual and awakening experience for me. I felt like Allah was speaking to me in a way and telling me that I am destined to marry my boyfriend. But of course I cannot predict the future and I would like to know if it is plausible that Allah guided me to my boyfriend to marry. 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 21 August 2012 at 11:41am
"....since my boyfriend and I are together but not yet married which is haram?"
You have exercised your own free choice.  If the choice is made with correct intention and according to Quran and Sunnah, you will be rewarded, and if not Allah can forgive or punish transgressions.  There is no avoiding responsibilities for our actions.

“And among mankind is he who worships Allaah as it were upon the edge (i.e. in doubt): if good befalls him, he is content therewith; but if a trial befalls him he turns back on his face (i.e. reverts to disbelief after embracing Islam). He loses both this world and the Hereafter”

[al-Hajj 22:11] 

“Say: ‘All things are from Allaah’” [al-Nisa’ 4:78], i.e., everything happens by the will and decree of Allaah, which applies to the righteous and evildoer, to the believer and disbeliever, alike. ‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Say: ‘All things are from Allaah” i.e., both good and bad. Al-Hasan al-Basri said something similar. 

Then Allaah said, addressing the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but the message is to mankind, that the answer to this question is: “Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allaah”, i.e., by the grace, bounty, kindness and mercy of Allaah. 

“but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself” i.e., from you, and because of your own actions, as Allaah says elsewhere (interpretation of the meaning): “And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much” [al-Shoora 42:30]. Al-Saddi, al-Hasan al-Basri, Ibn Jurayj and Ibn Zayd said: “is from yourself” means, because of your sins.  

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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 18 November 2012 at 12:48am
Dear Sister,
I read too much in your passage the word boyfriend,make it legal atleast and say fiance which is to some extent is permitted in Islam.
Dont think that god will tell you literally that you shud marry so and so,after the istekhara just follow your heart.Allah will In sha Allah guide you.
Dont get misguided by dreams as there are dreams often from Shaitan too.
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Quote anizami Replybullet Posted: 11 January 2013 at 12:54pm
istikhara is just a dua that you make. IF Allah (sbt) accepts it He will guide you but its an IF otherwise you are on your own. In your case it could very well be a shaitan that guided you to another unlawful situation.
Make dua with pure intentions, make khushoo in your prayers and leave what is Haram so that you are in a position to ask what is Halal. May Allah guide us all.
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