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IslamicGirl 
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Joined: 13 March 2005 Status: Offline Points: 120 |
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 Posted: 21 March 2005 at 7:04am |
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Hi Veronica, I agree with Angel totally on NOT sending a note to his parents. However, I do NOT agree with Angel on how being a Muslim male allows you to marry a non~Muslim. Being a Muslim myself, I have been brought up and told that any Muslim, being male or female, needs Nikah done in order to get married (ie. Nikah is saying vows Islamically). However, this is not the pin~point topic here. Your situation is tricky, not understanding how seriousley Islam takes the situation you are in, dear, can be a serious problem to both of you and the baby coming into your lives. I strongly recommend you stay out of his parent's life, talk to your boyfriend and explain that you did not do this on your own. Therefore, he needs to grow up, if he's not working, to get a job and prepare to take the responsibility of a father now. All the Best with it all!
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rami
Moderator Group 
Male Joined: 01 March 2000 Status: Offline Points: 2549 |
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Posted: 21 March 2005 at 2:48am |
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Bi ismillahir rahmanir raheem
Salam UmmNoel Islam considers all people equal, male or female. I think Angel is correct i dont think you should send the letter until you learn more about his parents. Ask him if his parents still follow old tribal customs from back home, are they practicing muslims, how long have they been in the states the longer they have been in the country the less likely they may react in a reactionary manner (basicaly not send him back to bangladesh). are they living in an area which has a noticable bangladesh/indian population, if not this will decrease the impact of finding out about your situation since they wont feel to much social preasure. I think it is best that he is the one who has to tell his parents, since the baby will soon be here and he can not ignore it. Maybe you should wait until after the baby is born so you will not feel the preasure from the family and this wont put the baby's health in any danger, if eventually you decide on telling them. If you are serious about converting, please take the time to properly understand the religion and why you would ultimately decide to convert, as religion is a matter of beliefe not situation so insha allah it is in a persons heart when they decide. |
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Rasul Allah (sallah llahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "Whoever knows himself, knows his Lord" and whoever knows his Lord has been given His gnosis and nearness.
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Angel
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Joined: 03 July 2001 Status: Offline Points: 6641 |
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Posted: 20 March 2005 at 9:39pm |
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Veronica, welcome aboard I do advise to not send that letter to the guy's parents not until you learn some facts first about the situation and become aware of why he may not want his parents to know. I don't know what your friend has told you about islam. There is more to it than just race, yes you are right that race shouldn't be a problem, but in some people it does. As for religion, muslims (men) are allowed to marry outside of Islam but to only those who are Christian and Jewish. But I believe this situation has more to do with the fact that both of you are not married and did something against Islam and now you are pregnant. Men and women who are not related to each other are not meant to be alone (solely) together before marriage. The guy knows he did something wrong, this is why he is afraid he'll be disowned by his parents and that you may not be accepted and nor the baby, yes they have a right to know about their grandson, but its not as simple as you think that telling his parents and they'll turn around and embrace. You really need to know his situation. At the moment I don't have a lot of time and cannot provide some proper islamic information. Angel. |
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 ~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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UmmNoel
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Joined: 20 March 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4 |
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Posted: 20 March 2005 at 6:16pm |
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Hi everyone I am new here, I hope I am welcomed
My name is Veronica, I am puertorican/non muslim...but learning about Islam and concidering becoming muslim. I am currently 36 weeks pregnant by a bangali/muslim guy. We are both 19 years old and not married, his parents don't know and he does not want to tell them or even take responsibilites. I think that his parents have every right to know that they are soon going to be grandparents to a beautiful baby boy. He told me many times that if his parents found out he would get disowned and they would never accept me or the baby because of race/religion. It is to my understanding that they cannot disapprove of me because of race I have a letter ready addressed to them telling them about the situation, yet I am afraid that he will get sent back to Bangladesh or get disowned. I care deeply about him and I don't wish any harm on him, and I really want my son to have him around. Any words or adviced would be greatly appreciated. TIA |
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