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honeto
Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 20 March 2008 Location: Texas Status: Offline Points: 2487 |
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Posted: 08 November 2011 at 3:00pm |
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Salam everyone, sometimes its just a few words that can paint a good picture of the one uttering them. Still we can pray that may Allah guide him to the right. Hasan |
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The friends of God will certainly have nothing to fear, nor will they be grieved. Al Quran 10:62
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khabira
Starter Female Joined: 03 November 2011 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1 |
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Hidden Pearl, I agree with you on this. I don't understand why the poster would come here to seek advise then show him the advise she has been given, and allow him to post such an irresponsible reponse. This is non-sense. Lady gave her very logical advise to which she didn't respond, but instead allowed him to make his outlandish comment.
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haniyyya
Starter Female Joined: 06 April 2011 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 9 |
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hi nella so how do you feel knowing he has a wife and kids and now he will leave his wife just for you and suddenly she just have to deal wit it coz only your heart and khalids needs to be happy it must be exciting to actually looking forward to someone getting deeply hurt! and if that had been done to you you would be terrified but to hell with khalids wife's feelings right? she is just a fish in the sea but you are the mermaid! the behaviour you showed to your husband was completely wrong .... on the day of qiyaamah you will stand infront of Allah with your deeds not with khalid or your career and when your six feet underground khalid isnt gona be there cudling you but you will be with your deeds, my unconditionaL RESPECT haniyyya
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Hidden_Pearl
Newbie Female Joined: 13 February 2011 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 18 |
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Asalaamu aleikum-
Well, when I speak about reversion to Islam, I'm speaking from experience as I am a revert myself, alhamdulillah. And why I pointed out that the woman must be chaste- and didn't mention the man- was because I was referring to what it says in Qu'ran about this- ie. that if a muslim man wants to marry a woman from the ah'l al kitab then she must be "chaste". I don't really have any more to say on this topic- it really fills me with sadness and distaste. Ironically, when I first reverted to Islam and was very naive and new to everything, THIS sort of thing was exactly what I wanted to get away from- ie. all the fitna and haram that people tend to think is "normal" in an un-Islamic society. I thought other muslims wanted that as well, but then I learned that not everyone was is idealistic and excited to practice their religion as I am. It's a grave pity that men like this are giving others such a bad image of Islam. But Allah SWT guides whom He wills... |
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Chrysalis
Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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Wanted to add: I feel strange talking on 'behalf' of the poster, and talking of her in third-person as if she were not here (about her, her situation etc). Hope she doesn't find it rude. Maybe she should chip in?
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Chrysalis
Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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Why would she revert? If I were she, and I was duped by a muslim once, � and then when I approached some for help� I were shrugged off because they assumed I had sinned, and judged me, and told me as a non-muslim my chances for Tauba were slim� why on earth would I think Islam had anything to offer? Sis, the most beautiful thing about Islam, and the Sunnah of our Prophet was the humanity & Rahmah involved in it� we should be inclusive in Islam, not exclusive. Also, how can we tell if she �wants to�? Only Allah & she alone know that. I don�t think non-Muslims start out by �wanting to� to accept Islam. Nobody plans or intends on leaving the religion of their forefathers. It only happens if they come across the benefits or truth that the other ideology offers. Give her the space & time, and freedom�. And the benefit of doubt.
Jews & Christians are �people of the book�, are they not? How do we know if she is a believing/practicing Christian? As for chastity� �she must be chaste� � Why just the Sister? The �Muslim� man in question is not very �chaste� from what we have gathered� you would have him not marry her for �chastity�? The Qur�an also says that if two people have committed zina (premarital sex) they should get married. Same ayah you are referring to I think. Scholars also advise that if two people have made a mistake/zina � they should get married. If two people have compromised their chastity with one another � they should marry each other. |
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Chrysalis
Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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Wa�alaikum salaam Sis. Yes � our first advice would be to raise the warning signals to the Sister. We can tell her as Muslims that the gentleman she is in love with does not fit the criteria of a good person in our community. Even according to her society it should raise blaring warning signals � he seems insincere & dishonest that he would be willing to cheat on his current wife, and play games with her like that. She should try to move on and cut contact with him. The marriage suggestion was based on the scenario; if despite our warnings, she decides to carry out this r/ship. We should tell her that Islam provides an alternative to sinning/cheating/dishonesty. Islam allows her that option, to get divorced and marry someone else.
I Agree.
Which is why we are telling her to stay away from the �Haraam� by 1) -> Recognizing warning signs and staying away from him, (Lady�s Post) We also pointed out to the Sister that she should think about the Man�s current wife & kids. Would she want that on her conscience? A second marriage/ divorce would surely be devastating to them. One should not be selfish in love. We should also be aware Sis, that when 2 people are in love. They are literally in blind & in denial. If the Sister fails to see our logic � we cannot convince her. However we can provide her an alternative to sinning / dishonorable actions. If she is hell bent on being with the person (despite our warning), at least she should get married to him. We can only speculate as to what their circumstances are. Whether or not we like it, she can legally/islamically marry him. And marriage is a better alternative to having an affair. That�s the �next best thing� sis. And the �next best thing� may not be ideal according to you & me, but it is better than sinning/ cheating/ dishonorable actions. Hence our advice. |
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Hidden_Pearl
Newbie Female Joined: 13 February 2011 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 18 |
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Asalaamu aleikum-
I do agree with most of what you said. Nevertheless, I cannot agree that "marriage is a better alternative to her situation", in fact, to suggest that contradicts your advice to "Run!... because they are probably not a good person". Anyway, someone may be a "good person" by the standards of society, yet not be a "good muslim", in the sense of not behaving Islamically, according to the dictates of their Lord or fearing Allah SWT. It doesn't seem that there is anything salvageable in this "relationship", and there is too much haram in it. This man is playing, he is not acting honourably as a muslim man/husband/father. In fact, he is actively giving her a bad example of Islam- eg "imams are child-molesters"???!!!The woman views her "relationship" with him purely in terms of a western romantic love affair. And there is a wife and children to boot, who will be effected. How will his marrying this "lover" make everything ok? It will not, and it can not. They must both make sincere tauba, in the first instance- well, ostensibly as a muslim He can, but can SHE as a non-muslim/Catholic? I think only a muslim can make tauba, or someone at least who wants to do so and enter the fold of Islam. I don't think she ever says she wishes to revert- correct me if I am wrong. And, although the Qu'ran says that a man may marry women from among the "people of the book", that woman must be a believing, practicing person, not just nominally a christian or a jew. AND she must be "chaste". Don't forget THAT! How many actually qualify, according to the criteria of the Qu'ran? And astaghfiruallah, if I make any mistakes, and Allah SWT knows best. |
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