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Message Icon Topic: Marriage for a young revert - He's at ends. :$ Post Reply Post New Topic
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Male Islam

Joined: 27 March 2010
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Quote alwaysbeme Replybullet Topic: Marriage for a young revert - He's at ends. :$
    Posted: 27 March 2010 at 10:06pm
Asalaamua alaykum my brothers and sisters.
First I'll set the scene for you. I'm a 20 year old convert, living in an area with like...NO muslims. Alhamdoulileh! It's proving a struggle, but I'm hoping I can maintain patience and just keep checking myself insha'Allah.

Lately I've been finding myself more and more marriage obsessed. I'm sure I'd shy away from the reality, but for me, the idea is weighing on my mind. How it would change my life, how it would end so much lonliness I am facing. Like, right now, I'm surrounded by non-Muslims, friends and family, and I'm absolutely at ends as a result. I mean, they're all in relationships. Cousins, siblings, etc I'm the last (but not youngest) single in my family.
I've had relationships before I came to Islam, and now it's like, I'm craving what I've had with people in the past (no, not the 'urges'. More along the lines of the supportive party, the emotional connections, having fun with someone.)

I try and bring it all up (knowing I'm unprepared, but trying to work on this insha'Allah) and the biggest reaction I get is along the line sof "But brother, you're so young!" like I'm not completely aware of my age, or trying to act ahead of myself.

Any advice would be amazing.
I'm sorry for the carry on.

JazakhAllah kheir.
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 28 March 2010 at 4:53am
Walaikum Salaam wa rahmatullah
Welcome to the discussions of Islamicity.
May Allah swt bless you with patience and ease your affairs.
Brother, if you are settled enough to handle {financial stability} then its advisable to soon get married. All those relationships you had before you were a muslim, got nullified and are now no more sins. But suppose, now you fall into it again, its a major sin in Islam. Its very much advisable that you get married.
Read this hadith :
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three whom Allah is bound to help: the mujaahid who strives (in jihad) for the sake of Allah, the mukaatib (a slave who has made a contract of manumission with his master) who wants to pay off his manumission, and a man who gets married, seeking to remain chaste.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1655), classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
So thats a good news for you. Have trust in Allah, insha Allah, you will be helped by Allah.
Here's other hadith : {Source Islam-qa}
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he said:  “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5065)and Muslim (1400). 
Suppose if you cannot afford it then Islam has got its solution too.
 “And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His Bounty” [al-Noor 24:33].
As shared in the first hadith, that Allah shall surely  help you, insha Allah. To control your desires, its advised to fast. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men! Whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for this will lower his gaze and protect his chastity. Whoever cannot (get married), then let him fast, for fasting will be a protection for him.” (Agreed upon). {Hadith source : Islam-qa}
Brother, there's no where in Islam that one shud get married only after getting his education completed { Generally , one of the reasons for getting delayed is stated that}
Why don't you seek help of your parents or other elder siblings. Look for a  girl who is inclined towards Islam, one who really practices Islam. Insha Allah, it shall then not matter you, when you are surrounded by non-muslims. Both of you can insha Allah, work for the spread of Islam as well. Anyways --
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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