FITNAH PART I

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   Asalaamu Alaiakum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu Dear brothers and sisters in Islam,

In this day and age, Alhamdulilah we have been blessed with many forms
of communication. This communication ranges from calling, texting,
IMing/chatting, Facebook, MySpace, etc. The list goes on and on. As
Muslims we can choose to make these communications halal. To be a way
to connect with friends, family and with brothers and sisters from all
over the world. We can also choose to make it a pathway to haraam.

InshaAllah in this article we will discuss the fitaan that
comes from non-mahram brothers and sisters talking excessively and
unnecessarily with each other online. As we all know, it isn�t
completely haraam to communicate with the other gender if it�s
necessary, however even so there are certain limits and guidelines to
follow. These guidelines mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah might be
implemented while offline in our schools, MSA and of course the Masjid
(who would do such a thing!). However, let�s admit when we come
�online� the rules are bent and we fall into freemixing endlessly for
hours. Close �friendships� form between non-mahram brothers and
sisters. These friendships are the like the spark that ignites a flame.
At first, they start innocent but in many cases end in unfortunate
situations. 

In this series called The Doorway to Fitnah: Freemixing, we will
discuss some of the causes of this and InshaAllah some tips for
brothers and sisters to implement to keep away from this fitaan. 

Since the article is quite a long read, we will break it up into parts
InshaAllah. So this will be a series. At the end of this part, we will
tell you what the next article will cover, 

Keep in mind: This article is written by a sister directly to other
sisters. This does not mean brothers are not being addressed or are
free from blame. After all as they say �it takes two�. We hope
Insha�Allah that both brothers AND sisters take benefit from this
series. 

                                                      Doorway to Fitnah: Freemixing

Part 1: Sister �Adds� Brother: The Spark That Ignites the Flame

---Written by Sister UmmLulu----

                                                                          *~*

It starts when a brother adds you on Msn/Yahoo/Skype/IM/Faceboo

ok/MySpace,
and you start getting along. First it was just to ask for help, or send
something to them, or for one reason or another but you knew you were
not doing it for the wrong reasons, you did it because you just needed
to, you know your priorities, morals, beliefs and your limits. You know
you won�t make it go any further than just instant messaging the
brother. Such a thing you know would be crossing the line and you're
not going to let shaytaan get to you THAT easily. You've heard of the
ways shaytaan tries to get people trapped in his scams and plans; pfft
you think: I�m not st**id! I�m not going to do that! It�s not like you
are going to marry him, right? You have no such intention. And you are
definitely not boyfriend and girlfriend, astaghfirullah!! No way! Just
brother and sister in Islam, bas! This is all innocent you tell
yourself. You just talk about normal things, stuff you would discuss
with your girls. There is nothing haraam about that? 

But as time goes by, you start liking the brother�and so what if you
like him right? That isn�t haraam either! And he doesn�t even like you
anyway; it can�t and WON�T go any further is what goes through your
mind. After awhile, you start getting thoughts like 'ohh imagine if me
and him got together hehe' fun�. but ridiculous thought isn�t it? It�s
just a thought!

 You tell yourself it will not get too far, and you carry on
talking to him. And now, you start coming online more often. You find
yourself waiting for him. During the day you might be doing your work
or something else, but at the back of your mind you know you're just
waiting and wishing for him to come online so you can talk to him and
have a laugh. The little voice inside your head tells you something is
wrong, but you push it aside. There�s nothing wrong about me talking to
this brother! But of course, you know your parents wouldn�t approve of
you talking to this non-mahram brother for hours each day. Alone.
Actually you would imagine your parents and siblings would simply flip
out if they found out about you communicating with him. And moreover,
you would imagine ALLAH SWT would not approve of such a thing. Of this
endless, pointless freemixing with this non-mahram brother. You
remember all of the lectures talking about the dangers of this free
mixing. What it can lead to, and the countless stories of individuals
who started out with innocent friendships but ended up in something
more�.something haraam. 

But, It�s fine you tell yourself, its all innocent! INNOCENT! He�s just
a friend, nothing more! Yes, sure you are starting to develop feelings
for him, but so what? You can just suppress it and never talk to him
about it. Everything will just stay as it is, normal!

Soon, you start talking less to your other friends. You start avoiding
them while online because you just want to talk to him only. In your
conversations, you tell him everything. You start telling him your deep
dark secrets: something you haven�t told many people, only the certain
individuals that you trust. It�s ok, because you know and trust him!
You are really close now��

And then one day OMG you can�t believe it! OMG OMG: wake up! Pinch
yourself! Did he just admit that he likes you??? Finally wohoo, it got
through to him that you like him and its the best perfect moment
because he likes you too! !!!

...Now you start to think and it hits you that this innocent friendship
has now turned into an emotional attachment and connection, with each
of you expressing your interest for each other. 

You think: What now?? Where to go from here??

In the next part called �Friendship Turned Relationship�
we will discuss how this situation usually plays out where a supposedly
innocent friendship between a brother and sister escalates into
something more 

Please stay tuned and share this series with all of your friends InshaAllah 

BarakAllahu Feekum 

WaSalaamu Alaiakum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu