Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir rajeem,

Bismillah ir rahman ir rahim,

Assalamualikum wa rahmatullah wa barkatuhu,

I found this nasiha while idle surfing. Hopefully it will be of benefit to some like minded, and thrown in similar situations brothers and sisters, insha allah.

Ten Things Every Muslim in the West Should Do

1.) Sponsor an Orphan	0	1
moiBefore anything else, there are hungry Muslim children everywhere who have needs right now. There are several reputable relief agencies who offer orphan sponsorship programs that only cost from $20-$40 a month. You and I know that's nothing expensive on your part - so do it. Some agencies even offer automated withdrawal so you can send a letter once with a voided check and never have to fill anything out again. Doing this can make you close to the Prophet in Paradise. � Also: In addition to helping your relatives if you have the means: find someone in your neighbourhood to assist.
2.) Subscribe to at least 3 Muslim magazines	0	0
moiThis is practically the only way you can keep abreast of issues important to the Muslims in the West. It also supports the budding Muslim media. Even if you don't intend to read the magazines, subscribe anyway. Someone around you will read or you can leave them with others. Make it at least three and try to subscribe for 2-3 years at a time.
3.) Go to the Masjid at least once a week	1	1
moiIn the West today, nearly all of us have a Masjid within driving distance. Even if you don't go to the local Masjid for Jumu'ah because of your job, then go for at least one Maghrib a week or for Zuhr on Sunday. Whatever, just go at least once a week- WITH YOUR FAMILY. It's the only way that you and your family will consider the Masjid to be your place.
4.) Give your children an Islamic Education	1	0
moiIf your children go to public school, and there is no Islamic school nearby, then make sure they either get into some Sunday school program, or, if the local Masjid doesn't run it right, then pool together with some like-minded families and run your own program at somebody's house every Saturday or Sunday and conduct it the way you think it should be done. This is the minimum requirement for not losing your children to secular Christianity.
5.) Buy books, cassettes and videos on Islam	0	0
moiBuy at least one book, audio or video produced by a Muslim company or author per month. Have you ever wished that there were better items for you and your family's pleasure? Unfortunately, Muslims don't support their own writers and artists very well. No one can make even a decent living if they want to write or produce for the Muslim market. That must change if you want to see wonderful products for you and your children. Just buy one thing per month. Either out of a catalog or from your local Muslim bookstore. For you it's only $5-$10 bucks, but collectively, it can encourage our creative and talented brothers and sisters to do more.
6.) "Adopt" a convert	1	1
moiIf you see any new Muslims at your Masjid, then partially "adopt" them into your family. The convert experience is basically one of isolation and loneliness. You'd be surprised to know that most converts are outright ignored by the people in the Masjid. Beyond a few pleasantries and handshakes, they are usually never made to feel welcome or accepted. They are often cut off from their non-Muslim friends and relatives so they are doubly vulnerable. A new convert should be invited into various peoples home for dinner a minimum of six times a month. Get together with others and make sure you all put the new convert on your guest list for any sort of gathering.
7.) Give the gift of the Quran	0	1
moi Keep three extra Qur'an translations and some literature in your home at all times. You never know when you'll find someone interested who wants to know more. Besides, your children read only and understand only English. (You wouldn't believe how many Muslim families don't have an English Qur'an translation in their homes! How will the child read it if they don't understand Arabic, and they never understand Arabic, even if their parents are Arabic speaking!)
8.) Go to one convention a year	0	1
moi Even if you have given up on them, you have to go. It's the only way your children will feel a part of a greater community of believers. Think about it and realize that you don't just go to a convention for your personal enrichment. It's about Muslim solidarity. Go to at least one every year. Couple it with your vacation plans or something. Just go.
9.) Eat only Halal (or Kosher) Food	1	0
moi Besides all the religious aspects I could mention, which are the most important, by the way, there is another advantage. You solidify your identity and introduce to your family the concept that animals should not die cruelly (like they do in all American slaughterhouses) and that Muslims eat cleaner food. If there are no Halal meat stores nearby, you'll probably find a Kosher store. At least many of the Jews are not shy about Allah's commandment there and have established kosher markets everywhere.
10.) Create an Islamic environment at home	1	1
moi Lastly, make sure you and your family have cultural-type items in your home in abundance that are associated with Islam or Islamic culture. Everyone in your home should have prayer beads, prayer rugs, kufis, Hijabs, (even if they're worn only for prayer), gowns, posters, wall plaques, stickers, logo-shirts, Islamic screen-savers on the computer, and on and on. You want to establish an identity in your home. Everything outside is totally un-Islamic. At least let the Islamic flavor be present inside.
11.)** Resolve to raise your family as Muslims	0	1
moi**This is extremely crucial! Don't be passive. Don't sit around and watch your spouse and children drift further and further away into disbelief and kufr. Would any of you like to be on their deathbed and then realize that they only left non-Muslims behind them? Imagine entering the great sleep with that realization on your heart!
These ten things can be done, with minimal trouble and fuss, by each and every Muslim family. Through these ten points nearly every purpose of Islam is served and you can finally feel that you're doing something in an organized fashion to help promote your healthy way of life and also to fulfill your responsibility to your Creator. Give it a try and see how easy these things really are. Then stick with it. You have no excuses for inaction anymore.

bugler,

If you only came here to insult and not learn, don't bother - your insults hurt no one but yourself.

Peace, ummziba.

ZamanH wrote: Also, Muslims should ensure that their children don't forget their native culture and adopt the Western culture. Western culture is too much different from Islam ( I see it just the opposite of what Islam stands for).  I know the difference between religion and culture, but I still believe any culture, other than the Western culture will surely be better than the Western "culture" for the Muslims to follow.

I'm just saying if this is the way you feel you should go back home to your own culture where you feel more comfortable among your own. This is western culture and if you cannot or won't assimilate then it's time to hit the road.

Obviously, you haven't achieved much at home because no where in the middle east do you have a democracy, But perhaps with your  "western" educations you can go back now and make a difference.

bugler,

O.K., now I see what point you were trying to make.  Perhaps you don't realize that a lot of the Muslims in the west are not from somewhere else.  Some are second, third or fourth generation Canadians or Americans or Europeans or Australians and so on.  Many are converts.

So, where would we go back to?  We belong here just as much as you do.  You use the word assimilate - that is not what immigrants should have to do.  To assimilate means to become something other than what you are.  I'll use Canada as the example, since I know it best.  There are Greek-Canadians, Italian-Canadians, Finnish-Canadians, Malaysian-Canadians and so forth.  There are also Christian-Canadians, Jewish-Canadians, Sikh-Canadians, Muslim-Canadians, atheist-Canadians, and so forth.

What they all have in common is Canada.  They are all expected to follow Canadian laws and be tolerant of others.  They are not expected to forget about their "roots", no matter how many generations back, nor to forget about their religious beliefs.

Muslims can, and do, live in the west.  It is difficult because the society does not follow Islamic laws or traditions, but it is not impossible.  Just like you live in the west, but do not follow Islamic laws or traditions, this being easy for you as "your way" is the norm here.

Being offended that we wish to teach our children our "ways" is silly.  You have the right to raise your children as you see fit, so do we.

Telling us to "go back" is foolish.  What is needed is for you to learn tolerance, and that works both ways of course.  Hate and fear come from lack of knowledge.  Tolerance comes from understanding and knowledge.  I would suggest you might educate yourself about those who are different than you.

I would also point out (if you are American or Canadian or Australian) that unless you are aboriginal, you are also from immigrants!

Peace, ummziba.

ZamanH wrote: I  am not from the West. I am from India. Can't you see it on my profile on the L.H.S??

Oops! As they say, you have burst his bubble And as we say, haste is waste, he did not look before leaping ...

I agree with you Zaman, We should teach our children our culture. For me it is becoming too challenging and too tiering an endeavor. Perhaps I am the one who is considering what bugler has said ... ie go back.

I came here looking for something which is not there. My language, my cultrue and my heritage and above all my religion are my identities, and I want to identify these in my kids as well. I thought these things are not so scarce here, coz ppl from "back home" are living here since decades now. But they have lost most of what belongs to them. Its not that they are not religious, but there is something missing ... can't put my fingre exactly.

Ummziba has said that it is not impossible for muslims to live here, which is true, but it is very difficult to live without your family. I think it is a great place for muslims, who do not have much to fall back in their homelands, as for those who cherish their roots, should not leave those.

Peace,

Nausheen

Assalamu alaikum,

You are so right, Sister Nausheen, about those who find it hard to live without their families finding it difficult to live somewhere else.  I suppose people have to weigh all the pros and cons with great care. 

In some countries people can find a freedom to actually practice and live their Islam freer than where they came from.  For others, the "bad" things about the west far outweigh the freedoms.  Either way, we cannot just all leave because some here do not like us!

There is no doubt that it is very difficult to raise Muslim children in the west, and getting harder all the time.  I feel very sorry for my Muslim friends here with children - they are constantly freting over one thing or another with their kids.  At least "back home" they would have their families to fall back on and people to set a good example as role models for their children.  Where to find that here?

I do believe that Muslims will continue to increase in the west, but it is not for everyone, that is for sure.  I pray that if you cannot go back, that Allah will grant you strength to raise your children as good Muslims here.

Peace, ummziba.

Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir rajeem,

Bismillah ir rahman ir rahim,

Assalamualikum wa rahmatullah wa barkatuhu,

Ummziba wrote: I do believe that Muslims will continue to increase in the west, but it is not for everyone, that is for sure.  I pray that if you cannot go back, that Allah will grant you strength to raise your children as good Muslims here.

Yup, I too believe the same. My concern is that they hold fast to the right religion, insha allah. I really take heart in the reverts who are so sincerely holding the rope of allah, masha allah.

Islam has been fabricated in various beliefs all over the world. It is getting harder for the coming generation to weed the good from bad, or take what is right leaving the rest. The story is same everywhere. In some places the problem is less gross than at others, that is is only variable. I might have given the impression that bak home all are very religous, well that is not what I think, but I guess when it is easier to share ur trouble with a couple of like minded people, the burden gets lesser. Perhaps that is what your muslim friends think about the ambience back at home.

Jazak allah khair sister, for all the prayers and kind words for me. We are always in need of duas, and barakah from Allah. Insha allah, everyone's place of abode and substenence is thru the decree of Allah, so I will also get my share as He pleases, and where He wishes to settle us.

Maa salaama,

Nausheen

it must be very uncomfortable live to be religious isn't it?

I think it must be so time (and maybe also money) consuming. how do you cope with it?

Hello Chrisrobin,

It is not at all uncomfortable to live a religious life, it is serene and joyful.  There are hardships, but these are considered a test from Allah, and Allah never gives His creatures more burden than they can bear.

Time consuming?  I would rather spend my time doing things that please Allah and worshipping Allah, than wasting my time doing things that bear no relevence on my relationship with Him.

Costly (money wise)?  Not at all.  Since becoming a Muslim and realizing the uselessness of the consumer driven materialistic secularism of society, I spend way, way less money than I ever did before.  Which is a real bonus - more for charity and helping others, which reaps such great rewards spiritually.

How do I cope with it?  I can only speak for myself, but, I will tell you that sincere prayer and sincere striving to please Allah brings great rewards in this life and insha'allah (God willing), in the Afterlife as well.

To sum up, since becoming a Muslim, my life has changed completely.  Yes it was very hard (especially at first), yes there were tears, but, there were never doubts.  Looking back, I have no regrets, except that I wish I had found Islam earlier in my life.

I hope this bit of insight helps to answer your questions.

Peace, ummziba.

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulah wa barakatu, Sister Nausheen,

I think your point about reverts in the west is a very valid one.  There are more and more of them all the time.  Reverts, for the most part, are so enthusiatic about Islam.  They don't carry any of the cultural, geographical or familial (local customs) baggage that born Muslims do.

I feel that as the number of reverts swells, so too will the strength of Islam in the west.  Insha'allah, someday, Islam will be considered "just another religion" in the west - I mean, not as strange or different, but as common place.  When this happens, our children won't feel so different and will have many more role models to look up to.

May Allah grant all the "western" Muslims strength and courage to live Islam as it should be and patience to know the religion of Allah will endure and overcome all others.

Peace, ummziba.

Salam to Sister Nausheen,

As a "W.A.S.M." (White, Anglo-Saxon, Muslim) whose family has lived in California (U.S.A.) for nine generations, and a revert to Islam with a Lebanese wife I can understand your feelings.

Although I was born, raised and have lived all my life in the U.S., I feel more "at home" in a Muslim country. On many occassions, I have felt sad and desperate when my plane left the runaway at Beirut International Airport (Lebanon) headed to my "home" (namely Los Angeles, Ca.). It is natural to feel more at home among people that share your values and perspective. A person that re-verts to Islam in the West becomes a stranger in his own hometown.

I would have (most likely) already "gone back home" if is wasn't for one thing, namely, Jihad Al-Akbar. In Islam, the purpose of Islam is not to attain a comfort and peace, it's about jihad, Jihad, JIHAD. I believe that Muslims in the U.S. have a tremendous (maybe historic) opportunity to learn and teach others about Islam. In Lebanon, there is an oversupply of knowledgable Islamic scholars. In the West, there is a severe shortage of people that are knowledgable about Islam. This gives even individuals (non-Scholars who are sincerely seeking to learn more) like me an opportunity to help the cause of Islam.

I am not here to judge anyones decisions, and I wish you the baraka of Allah (s.w.a.) wherever you decide to go. I would, however, like to encourage you to stay (if you can) as the U.S. and Canada need more knowledgeable and sincere Muslims like yourself.

Salam

Nausheen wrote: But they have lost most of what belongs to them. Its not that they are not religious, but there is something missing ... can't put my fingre exactly.

People in general adopt the cultures of the land they immigrate to. Mulsims who have settled in the WEst have acted similarly, although, Western "culture" is thoroughly unislamic. As far as I know, they have become totally Western in their outlook. Yet, they are not accepted by teh Westerners as their own (deservedly so,). Therefore, they cosmetically follow their own cultures and religion, to pretend to each other that they are on the same side.

////Before anything else, there are hungry Muslim children everywhere who have needs right now. There are several reputable relief agencies who offer orphan sponsorship programs that only cost from $20-$40 a month. You and I know that's nothing expensive on your part - so do it. Some agencies even offer automated withdrawal so you can send a letter once with a voided check and never have to fill anything out again. Doing this can make you close to the Prophet in Paradise.
////

Why do they have to be musilm though? Shouldn't we see people as people rather than a Muslim, a Xtian, A jew, A zorastrain etc?? 

It seems that you're more interested in spreading islam, then spreading compassion.  Just my thought.

"Resolve to raise your family as Muslims"

i believe this is very important because 2 ramadans ago.  me and my muslim friends were in the cafeteria talking.  They just finished eating but i was fasting.  They were talking( i don't remember what)  but then i asked them all if they knew arkan al islam( five pillars of islam)  They all stoped talking.  i asked again.  They said " What is that?"  i recited the 5 pillars of islam in Arabic and then i expalained it to them in English and somali. 

My parents tought me the 5 pillars when i was real little.  infact there isn't a time i could remember not knowing it.  My parents always tell me about islam all the time.  When they are lecturing me i could always finish everything they say.  for example when they say wama qalaqtu jinn wal ins.... i say illah leyaabadu. 

Because of the way my parents raised me i have more knowledge about my deen then most "muslim"  kids in the US.  Parents should always talk to there kids tell them things.  Believe it or not we do listen.  Don't stop telling us things.  All these muslim parents in the US always complain about there kids.  Its not the kids fault they don't have any knowledge about islam it is the parents duty to teach us. 

Amina16 wrote: "Resolve to raise your family as Muslims" i believe this is very important because 2 ramadans ago.  me and my muslim friends were in the cafeteria talking.  They just finished eating but i was fasting.  They were talking( i don't remember what)  but then i asked them all if they knew arkan al islam( five pillars of islam)  They all stoped talking.  i asked again.  They said " What is that?"  i recited the 5 pillars of islam in Arabic and then i expalained it to them in English and somali.  My parents tought me the 5 pillars when i was real little.  infact there isn't a time i could remember not knowing it.  My parents always tell me about islam all the time.  When they are lecturing me i could always finish everything they say.  for example when they say wama qalaqtu jinn wal ins.... i say illah leyaabadu.  Because of the way my parents raised me i have more knowledge about my deen then most "muslim"  kids in the US.  Parents should always talk to there kids tell them things.  Believe it or not we do listen.  Don't stop telling us things.  All these muslim parents in the US always complain about there kids.  Its not the kids fault they don't have any knowledge about islam it is the parents duty to teach us.

I agree!! most Musalmans in the US don't bother to teach their kids about Islam, and they should!! 

But why do the ones that are adopted have to be muslim? I am puzzled over that!!

Justin N wrote: ////Before anything else, there are hungry Muslim children everywhere who have needs right now. There are several reputable relief agencies who offer orphan sponsorship programs that only cost from $20-$40 a month. You and I know that's nothing expensive on your part - so do it. Some agencies even offer automated withdrawal so you can send a letter once with a voided check and never have to fill anything out again. Doing this can make you close to the Prophet in Paradise. ////   Why do they have to be musilm though? Shouldn't we see people as people rather than a Muslim, a Xtian, A jew, A zorastrain etc??    It seems that you're more interested in spreading islam, then spreading compassion.  Just my thought.

Muslims should help out all people not just muslims. 

We muslims should spread compassion as well as our religion.  But i believe that compassion plays a very big part in islam. 

Bismillah,

Dear Nausheen, I appreciate your effort and your list is a good one, and completely workable for many people.  There are some things I disagree with not out of disagreement, but out of practicality.  All of the things are valid and good.  Number 10 goes first on the list.  Take care of your own family first.  Too many men give to others when their own families are doing without.  They think they are preparing a place in heaven by this, but they will be punished for neglect of their own families.  Then they should sponsor a family or an orphan, you are right about that since the Blessed Quran instructs us to do that.

Once again you suggest things from the perspective of a person who has money.  Now, you must realize that there are very, very poor Muslims, many of them are my friends, who would be hurt when they read this because they would feel deficient in not being able to perform their duties due to lack of funds. 

Halal foods are definitely preferrable, but at 3.99 a pound for chicken and regular on sale is as low as .49, you are asking the impoverished to choose to go without food in order to fulfill this.

Magazines and books and video tapes of Islaamic origin, that would be lovely too.  But as I stated previously, I bought my son two small Islaamic stories for Eed.  At $20 for the both of them.  At the book fair, 300 page fantasy books are $2 or $3. Kids want and need to read, but the resources in our Muslim communities are mostly there for the well-to-do.  So please don't make a requirement in Islam that Allah, SWT, did not put on us.  It is a good idea.  Maybe you could work toward making a foundation of books, magazines, and videos available to the poor amongst us.

Now to what Zaman said.  If I could teach my children to follow my western culture that I grew up believing in rather than what they learned from the real behavior of their Phalasteen family, they would be more honest, trustworthy, happy and peaceful. 

I learned in church and in the Mosque that honesty is vital to a person and their family and community.  But in the Phalasteen family that I have grown to know, deceit is the only way that real people survive, espeically from their in-laws intrusive, difficult, demanding ways.

And as for moral behavior?  They are no more moral than my kaffir family.  They just hide it or pretend to hide it because such behavior cannot be suffered openly in an Islaamic world.  Is it better to learn to be deceitful as the so-called eastern culture teaches them?

Maybe it is that you don't know my culture and you just assume that what you see on tv and in bars is normal behavior.  Churgh going people and even moral atheists here in America value honesty, integrity, and community involvement. 

There are great things about the Jordanian, Phalastenian culture also.  I see that a lot of the values are similar.  We love our families and seek to teach them good values and protect them from harmful ways.  And there are families who are deceitful here also.  But the point I am making is that you unfortunately don't see the good families with strong loving ties in the places you frequent.  Who writes movies about them?  Nobody! 

Both so-called western and eastern cultures have great things to contribute to our Islaamic way of life.  We have to work very hard to implement them.  Your 10 steps is a great way for people who are able to follow them.  Maybe you could make a 10 steps for impoverished families. Until then, we can just concentrate on the pillars, and hope for the best.

Oh, and Amina, thank you for your poignant reminder to me.  I will try harder because of your post.  Whatever responsibilities I have, your post reminded me of my most important one.  I think I should post that in big letters on my wall.

herjihad wrote: Oh, and Amina, thank you for your poignant reminder to me.  I will try harder because of your post.  Whatever responsibilities I have, your post reminded me of my most important one.  I think I should post that in big letters on my wall.

What did i remind u?