Family Matter - Marriage

Marriage

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41226
Printed Date: 20 May 2024 at 3:07am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com

Topic: Marriage

Posted By: Longford23
Subject: Marriage
Date Posted: 23 October 2017 at 1:13pm

Asalam Alaykum,�

I'm 25 year old Muslim female and my hands have been asked for marriage , he's as my parents say as they know him very well (him and his family) he is a practising Muslim with great personality and charactertiscs to which no one in their right mind would refuse. So the proposal is very good.�

However, I'm not feeling the marriage I've said no to my parents they've said that I'm crazy for refusing a guy like him and that maybe the shaytan is whispering and making me refuse. The thing is I pray and do lots of dua and I have tried to think positively about this proposal with an open mind and every time I do I just go back to feeling NO i don't want to marry him .. I'm not being stubborn and not trying to disrespect my parents I'm not. I'm a very shy Innocent girl who listens to her parents and I've never said no . But I am now . I've refused soo many times but my parents islamically keep giving me advice as parents would do.�

I don't know what to do , I feel suffocated , stressed and I want this all to be over and go back to normal.�

Please I really need help and advice

Replies:

Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 27 October 2017 at 7:19pm

Dear Sister,

Take my example. My wife married me without meeting me personally. she was in india and i was in saudi. for visa purpose i got nikah done over the phone. she trusted Allah and her parents and now we are together since 7 years with a beautiful girl child. so dont be stubborn.put islam in between and take a decision. your check list should be as below

is he a practicing muslim
does he pray salah
is he capable to take your resposibility
does he qualify to attract u as per your perception for a husband.

I thing this is what we have in our hands and rest leave it to Allah
hope thia helps.
regards
Faisal

Posted By: Longford23
Date Posted: 28 October 2017 at 4:07am

The thing is I don't want to get married now and I have no desire to .. I'm just not up to it yet. Is that wrong , I don't think I'm doing anything haram or shirk?

Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 31 October 2017 at 12:29am

It is not haram but this is the right age a girl shud get married. i have seen girls who deny good proposals repenting later.hope this does not happen with you.
Regards,
Faisal

Posted By: tryingkangaroo
Date Posted: 03 November 2017 at 10:59am

you want my advice from life experience? Do Istikhara, if you dont see anything or dont get a vibe then dont go ahead with it. Im sorry to say islamically people have a really naive view when it comes to marriage. Yes we are muslim so we should get married but don't! for the love of god do it because everyone else says you should. Fais took a massive risk and it paid off but it was a massive risk, Fais congratulations by the way i'm really happy for you bro.

But back to my point! If your not up for it dont do it! but heres a curve ball dont wait to flipping long either if you want to have a family.

Im probably not being helpful but I will say keep your heart open and pray that Allah puts you in the right position to be married.

Posted By: Aziza25
Date Posted: 04 February 2018 at 5:57am

Salam sister,

What are your real reasons for not wanting to get married at 25? Is there something keeping you or you just don't feel any need?

Posted By: Mustafaleek
Date Posted: 17 March 2023 at 4:53am

[QUOTE=fais]Dear Sister,

Take my example. My wife married me without meeting me personally. she was in india and i was in saudi. for visa purpose i got nikah done over the phone. she trusted Allah and her parents and now we are together since 7 years with a beautiful girl child. so dont be stubborn.put islam in between and take a decision. your check list should be as below

is he a practicing muslim
does he pray salah
is he capable to take your resposibility
does he qualify to attract u as per your perception for a husband.

I thing this is what we have in our hands and rest leave it to Allah
hope thia helps.
regards

i have read your story so motivate for me thank you brother Allah Bless on you.

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