How first impressions can be hurtful....

I have been a member of this board for nearly two years and I'm not sure if I've ever told the story of my first introduction to Islam and how that clouded my view of Muslims for over 11 years.

In 1995, I had a chance to travel to Washington, DC with several students from various ethnic and religious backgrounds who were studying at the prestigeous Pennsylvania Govenor's School of International Studies, a summer program for high school students.  We had representatives from every ethnic background, asian, european, jewish, muslim, black, white, rich and poor.  

During our one week trip to DC, we had the honor of going to the Islamic Mosque and Cultural Center on Massachusetts Ave.  Now, there was a boy with us named Aziz (for his sake I will not give his last name) and I point this out for one reason.  The girls were not properly informed of what to wear that day.  However, we were all dressed nicely as we were also visiting several Embassies that same day.

Upon arriving, we entered the Mosque.  They had mentioned headscarves and I brought my babushka (russian headscarf) that I wore to church.  I covered my head, but my skirt only came below the knees, not all the way to the ankle.  Needless to say, after getting inside and seeing the Muslim women coming and going, several of us realized that we were improperly dressed but it was too late.  We were not offered overskirts but just ushered through and then given time with a Muslim man to ask questions.  Aziz had not even warned us girls and he was Muslim.

Now, here is a group of 17 year old girls who have suddenly found themselves underdressed trying to cover our legs with purses and whatever we had on hand.  We really tried and we tried to be very respectful and ask questions.

Thinking back, the man who was our "guide" was probably Indonesian or possibly one of the other Southeast Asian countries.  He was not Arab.  That was cool because it let us know how far spread Islam has become.  Now, here is where things really got bad.

You had about 30-40 students, of all of those, only ONE, knew anything about Islam.  When the question of the status of women in Islam came up from one of us girls, the man became very rude towards the girl.  Her question was very typical of girls who know nothing about Islam.  As I remember it, she asked why women wore the headscarf.  Again, his answer was very rude and did not explain anything about why the veil is an important protection for a woman.

It was not only his explaination of the veil but it was also his treatment of the young girls in the group.  It was if we were beneath his efforts to explain things to us and to teach us.  And sadly, we all left thinking how much of a jerk he was and how we felt bad for the poor muslim women being forced to wear scarves because they might go out and have sex if they didn't wear it.

This is the view I had of Islam for 11 years.  Reinforced by images of the Taliban after the Embassy bombings in Africa.  It only got worse 6 years later on September 11th, 2001 and again on July 7, 2004.  It was only after the London Bombings that I decided once again to
learn about Islam.  But, instead of looking at Islam as a spiritual option, I came here to Islamicity to find out why Muslims hated us so much.  Why men like I had met 9 years earlier wanted to lock women in the house and kill all non muslims? 

I was a very lost 17 year old girl.  Only a year later I became severely disillusioned with Christianity and began a search for something else.  I looked into Buddhism, Wicca, Hinduism, Taoism and many other faiths.  Because of that experience in the mosque, I never once even considered Islam a possibility.  I already new it was an evil religion.  And so, I dwindled in unbelief for many years before returning to the Russian Orthodox Church and then later converting to Mormonism because traditional christianity was still not the place for me. 

So, where would I be today if that man in that Mosque had been respectful and kind to the young girls who knew nothing of his faith?  There is a strong possibility I would have looked towards Islam when I did my soul searching, perhaps even reading the Quran and going to another Mosque in search of more answers.  Its possible, today, I would be Muslim.

Now, after all that, what is my purpose for telling this story.  There are several new members to this site who have been continually insulting all western teenage girls, western women or just in general anyone who isn't Muslim.  I ask all of you (especially the Moderators) to read over this story again.  There are other Angela's out there who are right now lost, they are looking for faith, for God and for stability.  They may have suffered molestation as a child or had fallen into sin.  They may have never had religion in their life, or had too much religion and found a distaste for the faith of their parents.  But, they are out there and they are searching. 

If you search on Google for Islam, Islamicity is the 5th site down.  That is how I found you.  This site has been instrumental in my learning about Islam.  How do you want people who come here to see your religion?  Do you want them to see the beautiful faith that was brought to us by the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh)?  Do you want them to see that God is there for those who repent and turn from sin?  Do you want them to see that there is a better way?  Or do you want them to close off to it because they've been called bastards and sluts?  Do you want them to see posts indicating that its okay to kill someone who insults the Prophet Muhammmed (pbuh) even if that person is uneducated and doesn't know anything about the man?

Believe it or not, this site is a very, very, very important site for Dawah.  Those members you tolerate with their illmannered posts are keeping people from Islam and they are sowing the seeds of contention.  They are in effect creating more people like me, who in a time when they needed Islam the most, were robbed of what Islam really is and only see what perversion of Islam is in their sick minds.

Please, when one of these men or women show up.  Don't let it go 400 posts before you act.  And for those who are not Moderators, taking time to be patient.  Don't suffer the evangelists but please don't treat every question as an insult.  If a religion can withstand scrutiny, it will prevail.  Don't be afraid to be challenged.  If you are right, you will eventually get through to the person.  It might not be now, but it might be years from now. 

" Verily, you will not guide everyone whom you love, but Allah guides whom He wills and He knows best those who Will guided" (Qur'an 28:56)

Thanks Angela,

You are completely right!  

Crass,

Since you are utterly hopeless in comprehending simple english let me break it down. Angela is saying how her first impression can have an adverse effect on the opinions of those who have little to no knowledge of Islam. the muslim man she encountered with a bad attitude was a prime example. It's clear that if a Muslim gets defensive when someone asks a simple, unintrusive, non-disrespectful question then there is an obvious problem with the individual him/herself.

Basically what it boils down to is if you want people to have a positive understanding of your religion the encounter itself must be positive. I'm sure the prophet didn't go around spreading the word of Islam and got annoyed if someone asked him a question. I'm sure he spread the word of Islam with patience, intelligence and kindness and that is something we as Muslims should immulate. One of the aspects of Islam is dialogue and actually this is one notable element we can say that has spreaded the word of Islam to vast European and Asian countries.

 

Edited by fatima

Bismillah irrahman irrahim

Assalamu alaykum

You know angela so many times reading your posts i prayed to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that He opens up the ways for you and i know you wont take it wrong thats why i am saying this.

I tell you an incident in the life time of Sayyidina Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassalam. Once Sayyidina Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassalam was in the mosque with his companions radhiAllah anhuma and a non muslim came and urinated in the area of mosque. Few companion wanted to go and behead him, Sayyidina Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassalam told them to put some dust on the place and explain to the person not to do it again as we put our foreheads on the ground.

He was a different man, he forgave people who chewed his uncle's liver. Don't get me wrong when it came to enforcement of laws of our dear Lord, there was no leniency in that. I wish muslim would understand that it is one of those times when their individual acts and their behaviour is taken as representative of islam.

Wassalam