Why do Muslims Marry their Cousins? |
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Muslimah07
Newbie Joined: 27 November 2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 36 |
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Posted: 23 December 2006 at 3:28pm |
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SalaamAlaikum, I recently met 2 Arab Muslim Women who were both married to their First Cousins. I'm American, and I am curious to know in WHICH countries is this Common?? ..WHY do they do this? Does EVERYONE in that particular family marry their First Cousin as a Tradition--and will familes get upset if their children marry someone Outside of the family? (does the family NOT accept "outsiders"?) In America, this is uncommon (and maybe illegal)--so I am very curious. I am not saying it's wrong--because the Arab Woman I met had LOVELY, Healthy children and they were a Wonderful Muslim family--I'm just curious. If you have experience with this--please explain this to me. Salaam
Edited by Muslimah07 |
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herjihad
Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2473 |
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Salaams and Bismillah, My first thought is: Why not? This is allowed in Islaam. Current research shows that previous ideas about genetic deficiencies arising from this are inaccurate. Places I know that do this: Phalastine, Lebanon -- but not so much, Syria. I feel like most places allow or encourage this. It is illegal in America. I believe the law is we can marry a third cousin. I'm from Appalachia, and although many jokes are made about this practice being common there, I don't know anyone who has married a close cousin. Edited by herjihad |
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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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niqab_ummi
Guest Group Joined: 08 December 2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 159 |
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Umm Abdelkhalek
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aply123
Starter Joined: 24 December 2006 Location: Algeria Status: Offline Points: 6 |
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Salam
The fact of marrying with a cousin or a cousin is not a thing prohibited by the human or illicit law in the religious law. I did not read the answers because you excused me I cannot include/understand English quickly. Here I will try to give you my idea it remains to you then freedom to choose or make your conclusion.
The origin of this phenomenon is mainly related to the polygamy which generates a group which defends these interests. This group in sociology is called a tribe. This phenomenon is not specific to Arabic but you can also find it at the Jews. By making married a woman with his cousin one is spirit to protect the interests from the tribe. With the disappearance of the tribes this mode of marriage remained only by practice and not for an economic and political goal. The Christians who prohibited polygamy do not have this phenomenon. Nevertheless the Christian middle-class classes marry between them to preserve and amalgamate the heritages and fortunes.
Between us and according to the experiment is better to marry with a cousin, because the union with the chance to last in time. Here the two married ones is plain for a goal determined well, whereas the other marriages do not have a quite precise goal, it is especially the goal of the pleasures which prevails. In the coran one speaks about the marriage from a point of view of Contract (meethak), here the pleasures are an element in a general contract signed in front of a judge and in the presence of the witnesses. in french :
Salam Le fait de se marier � un cousin ou � une cousine n�est pas une chose interdite par la loi humaine ou illicite dans la loi religieuse. Je n�ai pas lu les r�ponses car vous m�excusiez je ne sais pas comprendre rapidement l�anglais. Ici je vais essayer de vous donner mon id�e il vous reste ensuite la libert� de choisir ou de faire votre conclusion. L�origine de ce ph�nom�ne est li� en grande partie � la polygamie qui engendre un groupe qui d�fend ces int�r�ts. Ce groupe en sociologie est appel� une tribu. Ce ph�nom�ne n�est sp�cifique aux arabes mais vous pouvez le trouvez aussi chez les isra�lites. En faisant mari� une femme � son cousin on est entrain de prot�ger les int�r�ts de la tribu. Avec la disparition des tribus ce mode de mariage est rest� uniquement par habitude et non pour un but �conomique et politique. Les chr�tiens qui ont interdit la polygamie n�ont pas ce ph�nom�ne. N�emp�che que les classes bourgeoises chr�tiennes se marient entre elles pour pr�server et fusionner les h�ritages. Entre nous et d�apr�s l�exp�rience vaut mieux se marier avec une cousine, car l�union � la chance de durer dans le temps. Ici les deux mari�s sont unis pour un but bien d�termin�, alors que les autres mariages n�ont pas de but bien pr�cis, c�est surtout le but des plaisirs qui pr�domine. Dans le coran on parle du mariage d�un point de vue de Contrat (meethak), ici les plaisirs sont un �l�ment dans un contrat g�n�ral sign� devant un juge et en pr�sence des t�moins. |
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aamna
Newbie Joined: 13 February 2006 Status: Offline Points: 23 |
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My husband is from Pakistan and it's really common over there. He's had several cousins who've had a 'crush' on him, meanwhile for me the thought of having a 'crush' on MY cousin feels absolutely disgusting because it's uncommon in my culture.. but that's their culture. For them, It can be your first, second, third, fourth, distant cousin, etc., usually someone from the family. He said people usually marry within the family because they know about the boy/girl and their families for years.. i.e. the parents are not giving their child away to a complete stranger who may be putting on a friendly mask until after the marriage, which i think can still happen even if the marriage is between cousins anyway. |
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UmmAminata
Senior Member Joined: 21 October 2006 Status: Offline Points: 227 |
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Salaam O Alaikum Muslima I have a brother in law married to his cousin. And that is my only experience. Islamically speaking it is not harram to do so, so this of course is the foundation for many Muslims who practice this. My husband is from Senegal West Africa however his farther is from North Africa, what I have seen is that for the sake of family integrity people marry within, He's some what of chart of how I see it in my head First choice Marry cousin Second choice Marry within in local tribe Third choice Marry within local ethinic group Fourth choice Marry within nation Fifth choice Marry within cousin nation Sixth choice Mary within the world |
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Mrs. Dia
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rookaiya
Senior Member Joined: 04 May 2005 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 385 |
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i was married to my 3rd cousin. for us we didnt even know that we were cousins, until the day they came to propose marriage. i was shocked to learn that my moms mom n his dads mom were first cousins and that our parents were second cousins. but both families didnt have a problem with that issue. it was only me who was taken aback at first cos i thought its really freaky to marry your own cousin. i guess it depends on how close u were to the person growing up. im very close to some of my first cousins n they are like my brothers and i cant imagine myself getting married to any of them. it would be like incest for me. so i guess it all depends on how u as a person feel about it. also in my culture, its frowned upon to marry your first cousins from ur fathers side. u cant marry your fathers brothers sons. cos u all have the same surname and its viewed as taboo and total bad luck. unheard of. |
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UmmAminata
Senior Member Joined: 21 October 2006 Status: Offline Points: 227 |
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also in my culture, its frowned upon to marry your first cousins from ur fathers side. u cant marry your fathers brothers sons. cos u all have the same surname and its viewed as taboo and total bad luck. unheard of.
Interesting... |
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Mrs. Dia
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