Marrying Outside your Nationality

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Asalamu Calykum Nausheen,

Many thanks for giving me your insight on this issue. As you have said it perfect it is very hard to balance the two. Currently, my parents have calmed down a bit and insha allah hope everything works out for the best. My sister is also reconsidering her decision as she has realized that the sacrifice was too high. The issue of dealing with parents is very difficult though. It is hard most of the times to meet their demand and they always tend to throw at your face the rights that ALLAH has given them. If it was not for ALLAH`s sake I am sure a lot of us would not deal with our parents they way we do now.

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Idil Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Female Joined: 12 September 2012 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 44	Post Options Post Reply Quote Idil Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 November 2012 at 12:12pm
	Asalamu Calykum Nausheen, Many thanks for giving me your insight on this issue. As you have said it perfect it is very hard to balance the two. Currently, my parents have calmed down a bit and insha allah hope everything works out for the best. My sister is also reconsidering her decision as she has realized that the sacrifice was too high. The issue of dealing with parents is very difficult though. It is hard most of the times to meet their demand and they always tend to throw at your face the rights that ALLAH has given them. If it was not for ALLAH`s sake I am sure a lot of us would not deal with our parents they way we do now.

Nausheen Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Female Joined: 10 January 2001 Status: Offline Points: 4251	Post Options Post Reply Quote Nausheen Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 16 November 2012 at 12:58am
	Walaikum assalam w arahmatullahi wa barkatuhu, Dear Sister, Its sad to hear about the situation you and your sister are facing. Allah has given all of us the right to choose our life partners, islamically there is no problem doing this. Our parents think they know better and they can make better, safer decisions for us. In a way they are correct, as they are more experienced being around in this world. However in situations like this personally I think the youth should take in regard two things, both of which are important. Number one is to not compromise their lives for the sake of traditional, cultural norms and second is to not annoy ones parents. If there is a clash between the two - here is what you should do - First of all, you have to find out how far you and your sister know this brother and to what extent of surity? I've heard that one should marry a person who is on the same page of religion. This is most important for a successful marriage. Is the imaan and deen of your sister and this brother exactly on the same page? It is important for her future because she is the one who will be leading her entire life with him. Next, she may talk to your parents about this person, and at the same time telling them she will not step into her new life without their consent. It might take while for them to come around, but now that they know her wishes, they cannot force her to choose another person (islamically it is wrong to marry a daughter against her wishes). With her good mannered and respectful, percevering approaches, I think she can win her parents on her side. She should not give in to your parents wishes if this brother is worthy of her. At the same time she should not make haste in marrying him till your parents can clearly see that she has made her choice for good. May Allah facilitate what is best for you and your family, ameen. Edited by Nausheen - 16 November 2012 at 1:06am
	<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR]

Idil Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Female Joined: 12 September 2012 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 44	Post Options Post Reply Quote Idil Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 November 2012 at 3:23pm
	Asalamu Calykum my dear sisters, Hope you all are doing great. I just needed some advice and input on this topic. My sister recently has met someone from different nationality and alhamdulaah she was very satisfied with his deen. Things are getting very serious now and she has informed our parents about it. Both my father and mother were very shocked by the fact that my sisters wanted to marry outside her nationality. My parents are very cultural and are severely against my sister choice of future partner. I feel bad for both parties as I feel I am but in the middle of the situation. My parents want to cut all ties with my sister if she marries this guy. I am very saddened by the whole situation as I want a happy marriage for my sister, one where she gets the full blessing of her parents. I myself have no objections as I know that my sisters has the right to choose whomsoever she wants. However, what bothers me a lot is the consequences that will follow her decision. I do not want my parents to cut all ties with my sister and also I am of the opinion that no guy, no matter where he is from is worth this, after all our parents have always been there for us. Edited by Idil - 15 November 2012 at 3:24pm