Hijab

I came to this forum looking for spiritual help and encouragement. I hope I find what I am looking for inashaAllah. I was born and raised in the US and I was born Muslim and grew up in a family with a lot of faith elhamdullilah. I always wanted to wear hijab and had the strongest urge to do so. When I got engaged, I had a plan to take that step after I get married. As soon as I got married...like the same day....my husband almost forced me (with his words) to wear it and turned this experience for me from something that I wanted badly to something that I resented. Although I felt very good the day I put it on, and I felt that I was doing the right thing, I still felt that this is not how I wanted to do this. He also made it difficult for me with all his negative comments about my clothes and he was at times very rigid and tough, he continued living his life normally...going to the beach and styling his hair and caring about fashion and everything which made it even harder for me. After a few years of feeling negative about it, I started feeling content with it and I accepted the reality because I always felt that it would be a crime to take it off. Now I live with my husband and his family in a resort town with nothing to do except the beach and water parks and watch tourists come and go. There are a few women in this whole entire town that cover their heads and I am constantly surrounded by women that don't wear it and don't respect it much either. I honestly keep it on just because I know that people here don't respect those who wear it...so I feel that I might be giving them a different point of view of people who cover. Now after living in this resort city for 3 years (it is extremelly hot in this place by the way) I am getting really weak and for the first time in my whole entire life, I feel jealous of anyone or anything. Now I am actually starting to feel jealous of people who just have a short sleeve shirt or a sleeveless shirt and a nice cotton dress and of those who go to the beach and can just swim and cool off and walk around with their hair wet and the wind blowing through it. When I do go to the beach, I feel like, I am the oldest one there..the hottest one and the one who's enjoying the least....watching the cake and everyone in my family enjoying it but can't touch it. When I told my husband that being in this town is not helping me and is weakening my faith and my urge to wear hijab...his response was that I am not content with my life and that I do not like all the good things about this town. I really do not know what to do any more. I am really starting to hate even walking out of my house with my family.....now my husband and my kids are constantly out with the rest of the family and friends and I am always alone because I don't feel that I belong. I thought many times about taking off my hijab but that thought makes me cry....that won't make me happy because I don't want to make Allah angry with me.

I don't mean to interfere, but one reason might be that there is so much moral decay in the world. It gets frustrating and it can be hard to restrain oneself.

As for Amy, I hope she took islamispeace's advice and spoke to her husband (whom I won't even comment).