Is a working woman to pay for anything in marriage |
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abuayisha
Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105 |
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'If A Muslim man is displeased with
some bad quality in his wife;, then let him be pleased with another quality which
is good. ' The verse you cited in the Quran does
not give permission for domestic violence.
Muslims are not to "beat up"
women, children or anyone else. A
Muslim is the one from whose hands and tongue other Muslims are safe. Edited by abuayisha - 13 July 2012 at 7:38am |
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Munnim
Newbie Joined: 19 June 2012 Status: Offline Points: 15 |
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First of all, I am writing from my phone, which causes typos and at times disorganised messages when they stretch in length. But not more so than anyone can understand each point if they will.
Next: dear Lady. Sounds like you are excluding me from your religion? Can you really not tell that I am Muslim? And you say they (Abuayisha and Chrysalis) have given me many examples from Quran and Hadith but I refuse to acknowledge the truth. If you read my first post, I already acknowledged those same points, so I am not disputing them. I am looking for answers that deal with the issue I have, because it does not reflect the situation I am in. So it is actually you who don't address my question, but cling on to what I say is established knowledge. So all this discussion is without bringing anything new to the table. I have asked for answers specifically on women working, and no one who has had a say, knows it, as they have gone reverse every time. And only thing that stands are passages that contradict each other as both I and them have tried to passify arguments. And you all have got the idea that I would beat up my wife because I didn't like what Islam says. Which is absurd and sign of you not listening. And even disputing that the Quran says it, and Abuayisha translating differently that the most established Quran translators. It is then not me who denies 'our religion' |
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lady
Senior Member Joined: 20 September 2006 Status: Offline Points: 314 |
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As a muslim, they have given you so many examples from the quran and sunnah for your concerns. But you continue to troll this topic again and again. Because you are looking for someone to tell you that your way is the best way and you refuse to see the islamic way. So that is why I was thinking that you are teasing muslims and our beliefs. Islamically, when so many examples are given to a person, and that person refuses to see the TRUTH especially as a muslim, then we must not entertain them much with their insincere questions.
I wish the best for you and your wife
Lady
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Nausheen
Moderator Group Female Joined: 10 January 2001 Status: Offline Points: 4251 |
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Goodness gracious!
Have not read a more confusing post lately.
Who said what - do we need to read entire 3 pages of this thread to figure that out?
Just one comment on this entire tirade - the quranic instructions of 'beating' per se become a man's right only and only if the wife is unchaste.
Is your wife disloyal to you? If not, please try to know the tafsir of the verses you have quoted.
Also if anyone accuses anybody on the subject of chastity, he must produce 4 witnesses. Between a husband and wife, they do not need to, however Allah knows if they truthful or not - so this is a very serious matter.
Edited by Nausheen - 11 July 2012 at 2:02am |
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
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Chrysalis
Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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So go ahead and do that. Make a budget, keep a financial record... nothing wrong with that.
Nobody is denying the Qur�n. It would be a good idea to open a tafsir and ask a Scholar for the interpretation. So before you stock up on miswaaks (toothbrush) for a possible beating, do look the reasons up. Normal marital discords in a household do not make grounds for a beating. Even in the Islamic System, the woman has full right to approach the court and take her husband to court if she finds him harmful. That includes a beating. Nothing in Islam says a woman has to put up with an abusive husband.
Exactly, rights come after duties... that applies to you too. I heard a scholar say that in a marriage the spouses should focus on carrying out their responsibilities and not look at just gaining their rights. What happens nowadays is, people focus a lot on their rights and not on their responsibilities. Also, even if she doesn't cover or pray, you still have to do your part. Did you not know what she was like before you married her? If her praying and covering did not effect your decision to marry her, then it should also not effect your financial dynamics. PS: You have input from male members in this thread too. Also, since we are having this discussion with you - a man - it doesn't make sense to talk about your wife's actions. You do not control your wife's actions, only yours so it would not be very helpful to have a list of things your wife should be doing... Edited by Chrysalis - 10 July 2012 at 10:03pm |
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Chrysalis
Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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Selective much? |
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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abuayisha
Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105 |
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daraba - the Arabic word has several meanings and none indicate 'beat her up' - unless of course you would like her to retaliate and beat you up.
Surah 42.41-42: �If any help or defend themselves (ie act in self-defence) after some wrong done to them, they are not held to blame for that. The blame lies only with those who oppress in wrongdoing, and insolently transgress beyond bounds, defying right and justice; there will be a serious penalty for them.� The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined kind treatment and honoring of one�s wife, and he described the best of people as those who are best to their wives. He said: �The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.� Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke beautiful word concerning kind treatment of one�s wife, stating that when the husband feeds his wife and puts a morsel of food in her mouth, he earns the reward of doing an act of charity. He said, �You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife�s mouth.� Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6352 'Could any of you beat his wife as he would beat a slave, and then lie with her in the evening? (Bukhari & Muslim) Our Prophet and Messenger never hit a woman. He (pbuh)is our example and guide. This is not a religion of spousal abuse (beat her up). The Messenger of Allah send to all mankind on his last address delivered on the ninth of Dhul Hijjah in the valley of Mount Arafat, said (concerning women) after praising, and thanking Allah: ' O people, lend me an attentive ear, for I know not whether after this year, I shall ever be amongst you again. Therefore listen to what I am saying to you very carefully and take these words to those who could not be present here today.' 'O people, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers.' Edited by abuayisha - 10 July 2012 at 7:47am |
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Munnim
Newbie Joined: 19 June 2012 Status: Offline Points: 15 |
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W'aleykumassalam lady. Whatever do you mean? What games? Either way, I am not playing any games. I was looking for answers on an issue which muslims of today face, but got a lesson on women's rights. From women. If I had got something on the obligations of women as well, this wouldn't be as frustrating as it is. Anyway I have debated this other issue which I was dragged into and proven my points on it. I was wrong in putting my concern here though, but couldn't have known that because in the past I have received very good perspective from users of islamicity. But this time I only got defensive and one-sided discussion. So will use my own sense and knowledge to go about this problem, which I have. Until I find a person who knows enough to contribute to what I ask. But would like to hear which part seems like a game to you?
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